My Dream Couple: "Cardy"- Carly and Chandy, a Match Made in "Heaven"

I'm really understanding why so many people hate the character of Carly.  I don't even see her as threat to my Todd and Blair fangurlish interest. I just find her irritating.  STFU, Carly!! And learn to mind your own business.  And knock!!! Please, please, please, someone introduce her to my old friend Chandy STAT!!! I can't stomach her another day.

I love interesting characters. I love demented characters. I even often love nice, rather dull characters. I can't stand braying nags like this broad.  Someone strap on the feedbag to shut her up. She's a "healthy" girl and I'm sure she'd be willing to chow down for a while. Anything that shuts her tremendous mouth!! Or just keeps her quiet. She can go give $5 blowjobs for all I care. Just STOP TALKING!!! Ugh. I can almost hear her babbling on now and the television's off.  She's a nightmare.

I remember on ATWT when those pigs made Emily into a hooker for, well, no apparent reason.  Please, go that route, and make it happen off screen. I need this broad GONE, like yesterday. Degrade her a bit to make me laugh first, though. Maybe she could go meet a really icky john and then Chandy makes his latest appearance, right when she whips out the handcuffs. She keeps them in her purse for a reason, right?

She's so gross, she makes my flesh crawl. I didn't watch her sex scene with Johnny but I heard it was where nasty goes to die.  As Todd said, I could go my whole life without seeing that, so now I can.  It was Todd who said it was like watching greasy bacon being flipped in a pan. Yuck. Not a visual I need either.  Hey, I don't mind a slut. I'm a Blair fan. But she has to be amusing or interesting. This skank is none of those things. She's unlikable, uninteresting, and irredeemable.  In other words, she's icky and needs to go away.

Look, you put this pain in the ass with the one of the most interesting characters ever and guess what happens- the stink of her gets all over him. She's a canker sore you've attached to him. She's a wart on his side that is REALLY big. She's the unsightly rash that he can't get rid of, no matter how hard he tries.

I know she's going to be roadkill at some point but that can't come soon enough for me. She's insufferable!!

I hear the actress did an interview and she was as annoying as the character.  I didn't read it as I was too busy doing anything else on the planet. I couldn't be bothered to waste more time listening to her drone on.  PLEASE get her away from my characters!! I'm begging. She's the worst.

I know there's no Codd. I know that "Cosmo Quiz" scene was meant to tease something that won't end up being anything of any significance. God, I hope there's no physical contact. That's so gross, but whatever. I'm just not sure how much more I can take.  I was physically nauseous when Eddie Haskell and "Cujo",as some call her, did their "cute thing". It was repulsive. Can't Todd remember he's an asshole for a minute when he's with her skanky ass?  The Eddie Haskell routine is too bad for words. It's almost Paul Ryan bad....and we know how well that went- cancellation city.

I think Nimnuts gave me that because, well, I call him Nimnuts and abuse him daily. I can take it but it's making me turn off the set. And a lot of others, as well. That's not going to make Frank happy. Or the network. They don't care if I swear at them, as long as I watch.  And I ain't watching that crap. No way, no how. I have better things to do with my time.  I can watch people skewer Mitt Romney on MSNBC. Now that makes me giddy!! I giggle like a schoolgirl for some of that sweet lovin'!!

I know she's headed for a long fall and her true love is coming. That's great. Can we get there already so I can FF her scenes?  Who actually likes this broad? I'm not seeing it anywhere? The character is an overbearing, obnoxious blowhard who can't keep her mouth shut or nose out of anyone's business.  Can't this Jerry guy kill her?  Maybe he can work with Chandy on this?  I don't care!! Just get rid of her.

I was never a GH fan for this reason. I don't get it. The main characters are repulsive and uninteresting.  Being a gray character doesn't mean you're annoying.  This broad is what's wrong with this show.  She and Todd aren't funny. They're irritating. I need him to be in scenes with people who are not annoying. Hell, give me nonstop Heather over this crap.

I'd say poor Todd but I'm too busy feeling bad for myself!!!  I have to sit through this.  Todd's not real. Unfortunately, I am.  He doesn't exist. I do and have to suffer. The only positive thing- I'm back to work next week and won't have to watch!

Hear that, Frank, won't watch!!! BTW, where's Blair?  I saw your ratings.  Cujo, the Slagbeast, the Braying Nag, whatever you call her, ain't cutting it.  Ship her off to the stockyard or off to pasture. She's done.  I heard her new/old squeeze is supposedly Australian. Sounds good. She can go there- lots of farmland for her to graze in.

Looks like she already is feasting.  Really, Honey, you're on daytime TV. Try a diet and a workout routine. Your unsightly gut is giving us all ammunition  And we don't need much more. Your character and arrogance is plenty. I suggest a life in the private sector.

What you're looking for here, Frank, is Gabby!!! She was interesting, likable, fun, and sympathetic. FH could keep up with  Howarth and they were a good time. 

Now, that's good stuff!! Ah, the good old days.  When Howarth got to interact with people who were appealing and could act.  And Todd had someone interesting to talk to......

Valentini Shows He Has Balls of Steel: Jasam Get Closure For Reals?

OMG, that Valentini never fails to shock me with his guts. He really is "gangster" as some fans call him, and you know who you are.  He is one hard core dude. On Monday, he broke up the most popular couple on GH.  And this time, unlike Todd and Blair, it looked as if it was for real.

Now, I'm not saying they won't throw them back together in a slip shod way. That's always possible with a show on its way to cancellation...we think.. But, holy crap, that was really close to actual closure, if you ask me. That was a definite "We'll Always Have Paris Moment".  I, personally, am a little shocked.

Now, don't kid yourself, I don't care about these characters at all. I'm not particularly impressed with either them or the actors. I think Burton was downright bored and he couldn't be less engaged. I think I saw him wondering when it would be over at one point.  Or maybe what was for lunch. I can't tell as his expression never changes. But I do find it fascinating that Valentini would take a machete and slice these two to pieces. Let's take the points I made about Todd and Blair and show how real closure works.

Here's a cheat sheet on how NOT to give closure:

1) You don't have the one who's "moving on" never say they love the one they are moving on for

We had that.  Sam told Jason to his face that she wasn't giving up John. She didn't say she loved him but she said that she wouldn't let him go and Jason would have to deal with it.  OUCH!!!! That's harsh. And I don't even like these characters. I winced for Jason who I actively dislike. That's closure, not wavering.

2) You don't have the one who wants to get back together flash back to the reason he can't have his hunny bunny as he tries to get her to reconsider

The only flashback we got were of the good times, not the stumbling block that keeps them apart.  The reason they can't be together is she can't forgive him. Now, the only leeway I saw was that she mentioned several times "if the baby hadn't died". There's some wiggle room there but it could go either way.  Small anvil but I saw it more as a way for Jason and Carly to go after Todd for ruining his marriage, as well as giving away his kid. I'm not sure it will be a road back for the couple, but possible.

3) You don't have them swear undying love for one another and then leave without mourning the loss of the past

He was her best friend.  They got the montage.  They cried about how beautiful it was.  Yeah, that's mourning. That's closure.

4) You don't have the person "moving on" admit that they're only doing it as a reaction to the one they really love

I still don't get why Sam won't let go of John. Really, I don't. I guess it's because she wants to fuck his legs off and that's more important than her marriage. I get that she can't forgive Jason but she's not saying "I'm going to him to stay away from you".  Where did I hear that? Oh, yeah, Blair, and that was NOT closure. This is.


5)  You don't make the "moving on" happen before they say they'll always have Paris

In case you didn't get it the first time, let's do it again.  If you've ever seen Casablanca, Rick and Ilsa talk about how it great is was to be together but they have to move on. But they'll always have Paris.

That last Jasam scene was it, Baby, that was "Paris".  The flashbacks of the good times was all you need but the recanting of how great is was nailed it.  That's Paris.That's closure.


6)  You don't have the "moving on" happen without one tragic kiss and farewell


Unlike Blair's anticlimactic exit, this was it. It was all tragedy. They held one another. They kissed and cried and said goodbye. He said he just wants her to be happy.  Not "I'm leaving" and him shocked and that's it.  That's not closure. This was closure.  Wow.

7) You don't have the one moving on look as if they want to jump all over the other

I didn't see any heat here. Nothing. That kiss was sweet and a little intimate but final. It wasn't "let's go upstairs". It wasn't passionate. With Todd and Blair, he was going for it and she was, too, until she caught herself. She never could resist him laying one on her. She's a pushover for him.  This time, Jason and Sam had a sweet moment and that wasn't leading anywhere. No lingering or heavy breathing or anything. It was done.  She was sad and he was, well, him. That was closure.

8) You don't have the the couple splitting up forever chat about what went wrong and see how things could have been different yet still have the same old fights


They did this exactly. They talked about what went wrong and were sad about it and, for a moment, thought maybe they could change it....then thought better about it. No fighting. No accusations that he's doing the same old crap and unless he didn't, it wouldn't work. This was a real closure discussion about what happened and how it's useless. No arguing. Just sadness.

9) You don't have them claim they love each other madly and always will-

I didn't hear anything about them always being "it" for one another. Maybe I missed it but I heard her say that she thought her life before wasn't real but not that there'd never be another.  Not that he's under her skin and in her heart and her head. None of that. Just that they'd had a great run and it was sad and it was the best she'd had....so far. That's closure.

and, most importantly

10) At least one of them has to WANT TO MOVE ON!!!

That would be her. She's crying and all and mourning and loving him, but she's moved on. If not, she'd be with him. This is all her gig. She wants to nail John- that's it. I don't buy that it's about the kid or his lack of acceptance. That may have opened the door but she wants fuck John's legs off!!! That's what this is about.

Blair doesn't even seem to like Dumbass. He's her human shield to the pain Todd undoubtedly causes. That wasn't wanting to move on. It was wanting to not be hurt and stalling the inevitable. I love Blair but she's a Tower of Jell-O, as I keep saying. And she's wavering all over the place. Just a matter of time before she falls over. All Jell-O melts.

Sam, on the other hand, is not. She digs John the most. She looks at him the way Blair looks at Todd. And John looks at her the way Todd looks at Blair, like he wants to devour her whole. In the words of the spectacular Cole Porter, like she's a "turkey dinner". She's the top for him...in more ways than one.  She looks like a spinner to me.  She's little and a playmate and dances..............

Okay, is this clear?  There's closure, as we have here, and there's "closure", as we had with Todd and Blair.  I'm not saying it will last forever. But, to anyone with a knowledge of the genre and a critical eye, we saw closure in the most traditional way. All the beats were hit and hit well.

Coming up, new supercouple- John and Sam.  Valentini better get a body guard. I've read some of the reaction and I'm afraid for him. Those Jasam fans aren't intimidated. They know Valentini will cut a bitch but I'm not sure what they'll do.  Maybe blow up the studio.

I hope Viki's not there if that happens.  I love Viki..........

Fun with the Other Paul Ryan and GAA: Schaudenfraude in Chicago

There a few things in life that make me happy and giggle like a silly schoolgirl. Two of them have occurred very recently, so I thought I'd share. I urge caution. I love my Republican friends and family members but I am not one. If you are, you may want to skip this next paragraph.

One is that Mitt Romney chose Paul "Douchebag" Ryan as his VP. That makes my leftist heart burst out of my chest with glee. Not because I went to grad school in Wisconsin and live right over the border, but  because now any moderate voter probably won't sway in the wrong direction. I love it!! I dislike this man for so many reasons but sharing the name of one of my least favorite soap characters is right up there! They're both assholes who make me get all ragey! Only picking that cock-sucker Scott Walker would have made me happier.  Yeah, I said  it!!! He's a mealy-mouthed cock-sucker and the enemy of the people. And as I sat with several seniors today who would have voted for Romney but now claim they're staying home, I chuckled and clapped my hands fiendishly.  It might be a good day!

Second, there's the latest from my future husband Marc Berman: 

Week four of summer ABC daytime time period filler Good Afternoon America plummeted, dipping to 1.36 million viewers for the week of July 30 and dropping from year-ago occupant One Life to Live by as much as 70 percent among women 18-49, according to Nielsen Media Research...
-Total Viewers: The Chew (ABC); 1.86 (-26 from All My Children), Good Afternoon America (ABC): 1.36 (-56 from One Life to Live)
-Women 25-54: The Chew (ABC): 433,000 (-42), Good Afternoon America (ABC): 289,000 (-68)
-Women 18-49: The Chew (ABC); 336,000 (-41), Good Afternoon America (ABC): 215,000 (-70)
-Women 18-34: The Chew (ABC): 134,000 (-26), Good Afternoon America (ABC): 85,000 (-61)

http://www.tvmediainsights.com/2012/08/good-afternoon-america-plummets/

This is just the best thing ever!! What a weekend for this liberal, soap opera fan!!! I can't even keep myself composed to write this as I want to start dancing in the streets.  Maybe I can do both if I use my Iphone.

What more do these people need?  What will it take for them to see the light? They were wrong. Dead wrong. They can't even seem to admit it to themselves. That drivel they're putting on the air is not going to work. They can keep trying and trying and trying but it's not happening. What is it about "we won't watch" don't you get?  I've said it again and again and again. But, here were are, and I'll say it again. WE WON'T WATCH!!!

I'll try not to swear and rave this time as I'm in too good a mood.  There is no daytime audience for this crap. There is no "daytime" audience at all. You are chasing a ghost that doesn't exist. There will never be huge numbers like before. However, there is an audience for a specific type of programming. They will watch whenever possible. But they won't watch just any piece of crap. 

They will watch what they like, what they choose, and what they have an affection for due to a long term relationship. Not Mario Fucking Batalli and that Hootie Chick with the bug eyes and creepy face- Carla Hall. They won't watch that idiot Lara Spencer "go long" for a football. What the Hell is that? And that smug douchebag who's on that ridiculous show with her.  It won't work.  What don't you get????

What other kind of programming has people crying at the end of the run?What other kind of programming has people name their children after characters? What other kind of programming has people, such as me, yell at the screen "I hate this show", but damn it if I don't watch it anyway. I may hate her, but, as Orson Welles said about his dedication to filmmaking ruining his career, "she's my girl and I love her". We stick with her when we shouldn't. When she breaks our heart. When she betrays us. But, like being a filmmaker spoiled a successful acting career, we stick with her because we're dumb and loyal. She's our girl and we love her.  That won't happen with cooking tips or moronic banter!!!

I don't get it. I know the logic was sound. You have expensive shows that aren't making enough money. You replace them with cheaper shows that will get less viewers, but the ratio of cost to profit works out. That's a great theory. It is. But, like Romney's dumbass choice for VP, it's short-sighted. What if the Republican base isn't enough to win an election?  Which it's not, BTW. What if the negatives outweigh the positives? What then?

Well, let's ask ABC. They seem to be having to find that answer. What now, Viki and Paul, what now? You've put your money on talk shows and Katie will be as successful as Mitt Romney- bank on it.  And talk shows are tanking your agenda. Know why? It is your agenda and it's faulty. It's like trickle-down economics. Or, as Woody Allen says, "Love is like Communism. It's a great idea but it will never work". See the point? It will never work.  

There is no audience to attract here. We were all you had. I don't watch daytime TV. I have better things to do. However, I made appointments to watch OLTL and AMC. I make it a priority because, well, they're my girls, and I love 'em.

See the point?

I don't know how many times I can say it. You've lost 70% of the audience.  Not 10, not 20, not 30, but 70%!!!!! That's pathetic.  It's a tsunami. You're bleeding viewers. Get yourself to a doctor or you'll bleed out. Face facts, Dudes, you are looking weak and are on life support. And no one's coming to help.  The electric bill is due and if you can't pay, which you can't, the machines are shutting down and you die. It's over.  Goodnight, Nurse. ABC is done-for.

You were DOA and you were the only ones who didn't know it. We all saw it and warned you and told you and now, you're all shocked.  That's pathetic. 

You better get David Hayward STAT!! He can make the dead rise. You should know that. It was your idea..................

Nefarious Lawyer Needed: Paging the Fabulous Scotty Baldwin!

We all believe spoilers we like. I saw one that said that Scott was on his way..........OMG.  I want this to be true as I LOVE SCOTTY BALDWIN!! And he's not Scott, dammit, he's Scotty!!! That's right, I said it. SCOTTY FRIGGIN' BALDWIN!!!

Okay, do you think I like him? Maybe a little.I feel like starting a middle aged fangurl cheerleading squad and going to LA and chanting outside that silly studio. If we offer food, I bet Valentini would listen! We can start with "Gimme an S" and go from there. Yeah, I was in a sorority for a semester, until Hellweek conflicted with hanging out with my heavy metal boyfriend and I just couldn't make it. But I saw them being cheerleader types at Rush, so I get the gig.

I love Scotty from back in the day when GH was a real soap. I was a Scotty fan as opposed to a Luke and Laura fan. Not a LNL fan, sorry. I know everyone was back then but me. My sister and her friends were into them but I always thought Luke was ugly and creepy.  Oh, and a rapist.  At least he should be punished for it like Todd but, no such luck.  Anyhoo, Scotty was snarky and bitter and funny and cute and I was just infinitely entertained by him.  Kin Shriner rocks!! I even enjoyed him on ATWT as lame as his character was, Kin was wonderful.

My top three favorites-Dr. Dave, Todd, and Scotty!! Adam, of course, is a special thing as he's the Man, but ya know what I mean.  Having Scotty and Todd would be too delicious. Here's my big suggestion and I can't help myself from begging:

Scotty as Todd's fabulous lawyer that got him off in Llanview...well, got him acquitted.

That would be spectacular!!!!We know that Codd is headed for a big fall from BFFs and Luke will be in the middle of it.  Todd's complicity won't go over well.  He may need representation.  Can you imagine Todd/Scotty vs. Carly/Luke?  It writes itself.  Fun fun fun and might make Carly not as gag-worthy.

Here's what I propose: Scotty is the lawyer who got Todd acquitted for SNV's murder and he comes back as Todd's consigliere.  A kind of WASP version of Tom Hagen from  The Godfather.

I think Scotty as Todd's legal eagle against the angry villagers with pitchforks would be perfection.  It would be a downright snarkalicious bowl of mean-spirited fun.  I, for one, would be all over it.

I've loved Scotty since he, and I, was a kid.  I loved his fall from grace when Laura broke his heart.  I loved
him with Lee, his infinitely disappointed father.  Lee was one of the last great good guys who wasn't a pushover or a bore.  He was smart and ethical and kind of hot for an older man.  He was no JVD but, hey, who is?  I loved the father/son dynamic, much akin to Joe/Tad or Viki/Todd.  It was realistic but more antagonistic yet always expressed with an underlaying love.  That's missing today except for maybe Todd/Starr but that's another story.

At any rate, there was a time when GH was good and there's a rich history to mine.  There's great actors and characters ready to be brought back.  This one seems to be a no-brainer.  Scotty Baldwin's not only a doll, but he's funny and smart and never ever dull.  He makes every scene better.  In other words, he's a treasure played by a great actor who fits in perfectly.

In other words, paging Scott Baldwin to General Hospital STAT! There's a rich man who will keep you on retainer. Put him and Blair and Todd in a scene together....fuhgetaboutit!  Now that's some Must See TV!

Beautiful Loser(s)?: John Beats the Crap Out of Todd and Winds Up In His Web

Okay, how can I stop laughing?  I guess I can't.  Watch, listen, and learn, GH fans.  That GH on Monday , my friends, was a classic OLTL moment-  Todd Manning at his finest and honorable mention to hypocrite extraordinaire, John McBain.  More fun than a bucket of Margaritas on the beach....well, maybe not that fun.  But close!

You see how great OLTL was?  Do you see how entertaining these people are compared to dark, drab, dismal PC residents and "stories"?  I couldn't have been more entertained.  Well, I could actually.  If Bo had burst in and arrested John, that would have been great.  And then Viki showed up at Todd's office instead of that loser Carly, then I'd be happier but beggars can't be choosers. Patience, I tell myself, patience.

I can't quite say what my favorite part was as they were all so good.  I loved Todd running away from John at first and seemingly looking for a gun.  I loved his complete lack of remorse and his crazy ass reasoning- vintage Manning.  I loved him being a weasal and calling the cops and laughing.  I loved John's complete understanding of what was happening, and why. It seems he understands that they are rivals for, well, no apparent reason, except that John's a white hat and Todd a deep gray. The minute he walked in, it was on and I could tell both knew it. I love the Howarth/Easton dynamic as Easton needs to be engaged and Howarth does that. Without that push, he appears to be asleep most of the time. He's so mellow, he barely has a pulse. He needs adrenalin and Todd gives it to him, as does Sam....in a different way, but I digress.

Now this is antagonism, People!  Maybe John and Todd were the "couple" who had antagonistic chemistry that a certain lame "insider" predicted.  Or maybe he was just full of crap. I suspect the latter, but no matter. Onto interesting things that are really happening!  John and Sam, yeah, that's heat.  Not sibling love but two people who want to jump each other and hump like there's no tomorrow.  Pretty sick siblings, huh?

Although I'm a huge Natalie fan, I can't deny that these two have "it" and it's crazy.  Really.  When Sam asked if there was anything she could do, you could see the thoughts in John's head were a long laundry list of sexual acts, probably starting with her ripping her clothes off and letting him motorboat her.  If you don't know what that is, good for you. It's tacky and I shouldn't have said it.  But there you have it and, again, I digress.  I always thought John brought Nat down anyway.  Oh, and while we're on the topic- Bye bye, Burton. Won't miss you.

As fun as today was, it was a little sad, as well.  Todd truly believes that John is the cause if his break with Blair.  Delusional? Yes.  Denial?  Yes.  But very apropos.  Todd is not very self aware to say the least.Yet he is still deeply in love and I have no doubt he'll get his crazy ass family back soon.  The gratuitous Jack comments on almost a daily basis tell me that, besides that lameass goodbye from Blair.Oh, and this:

Blair Cramer- Tower of Jell-O.

Her resolve to be rid of Todd usually lasts a few months and she tortures herself the whole time.  Then she caves and is so happy "it's ridiculous", as Todd characterized it. But who wouldn't cave, really, for that lovesick fool?  I mean, think about the people whose lives will be destroyed because she's running scared. That's an issue to consider.  We all know she'll cave.  She should just do it fast and save all the destruction.

But John deserves this.  I like him but he's a douchebag and he needs to pay.  Really.  Todd's right about the women he's left in his wake.  Funny how John brought up Marty as she was his victim, too.  Yet you gotta love how Valentini, and I'm giving him and Howarth credit for this, never let the GH fans forget who Todd is- the man who raped Marty.  Thank you for that, really.  It makes this cultural critic and staunch defender of their message proud.  Good one. It keeps the punitive nature of the portrayal in tact and doesn't minimize or romanticize that very violent and ugly moment. It remains the defining moment of his life and one he, and we, won't forget.  And he always got his ass kicked!! That's classic, too.

So, here's to you, Guys.  Howarth and Easton, show those losers how it's done.  Now let's keep going.

I see dumbass Carly is back.  Sigh.  Can't she die already?  She's insufferable and annoying.  I'll take a Ford over her.  Really.  Just kill her- tragic gardening accident, tanning bed incident, doesn't matter.  Just get her off my screen like yesterday.  She's  a braying nag and needs to be put out to pasture already.

Let's get back to the good stuff like when's Blair back and damn it, let's see Viki. And CLINT!!! And my friend Nora on an interstate vendetta. Or charge Todd in Llanview for, well, anything,  She never needed an excuse before. .And have Bo counsel John about being a shitty spouse. 

Bo knows everything. Maybe he can get rid of that moron Carly. I hear St Blazes is available.

And because I can't resist.  I love this man as I was a child of the '70's and the '80's and this man needs to be promoted as an icon.  It should explain the title, as well. Beautiful Loser starts at about 520 but it can't be separated from Travelin' Man.  They're a matched set!

 I bet Bo's a Seeger fan. That Snoop Dog stuff was crap.

The Todd and John Antagonistic Bro-Mance Begins! But Are They Siblings??

It's been a long, strange trip but we finally started to see civilization on the horizon this past Friday.  And it looked a little like Llanview. Welcome back, OLTL!  I can't wait till you really pick up some speed...and characters. What a pleasure to see two OLTL character actually be entertaining and have one in Llanview. Usually it's just Starr and Todd, and that's rare as they've affixed Carly to his ass as she can't seem to exist on her own.  It would be more effective to affix Todd to her ass as it has much more surface area but, alas, I digress.


John and Todd were superfun, as they always had been, and I still argue they have the potential to be a real supercouple after Todd and Blair, Todd and Viki, and Todd and Nora.  Nice work, Guys, and Easton's fully awake.  How  fun was that! And Easton's haircut looks fabulous, to be shallow.

So, here's the lowdown. John loses Natalie because of his own inability to not nail Sam and Todd's the one who sent the lethal blow!  Finally, there's vengeance for Team Hatred and I, for one, love it!  Todd's back to his "I'm hurt and all will pay" mode and John's getting some adrenalin pumping.  There you go, Boys, it's on! And a quick shout out to Phone Nat and her Poppa Clint for kicking John's ass and tying his hands at the same time.  You rock, Nat, and I miss you, but I love this move. Screw that Bastard and have Daddy help. The Buchanan Way Lives! 

I Miss Clint.  When the doorbell rang, I was yelling out loud "Please be Clint!  Please be Clint!" ...oh well. Not even Nigel.  OH No, not the even the fierce man-eating Nigel....but I digress. Patience, I tell myself, patience.

Next up, Todd and John will beat the shit out of each other.GOOD!!! You both deserve it. You lied and cheated to two great broads and someone should beat you both senseless- why not be each other?  I'm a fan of both these guys, so it works for me!! I love how Todd is going nuts in the preview for so many reasons but mostly because he's being mean, spiteful Todd.  Yeah, Mean, Spiteful  Todd!! That's really Todd. No Eddie Haskell Manning there. Thank God!!! He's a loser.

And the way he fired Sam in his best "slithering" fashion was great. He lured her in and then told her he was on to her. And, after she admitted her real motives, he attempted to get out of the questions by changing the subject and portraying himself as a caring person.  That was classic!!!!!!!!!!!!I'm still laughing and it's about eight hours later.  His compassionate nature my ass!!It was some beautiful bullshit.  If any GH fan thought it was real, they better hold on. If that preview was right, they'll see what his real motives are soon.  And I can't wait!!

As I said before, Todd Manning does not take rejection well.  "Normal" Todd who's Carly's BFF was insipid and dull and I couldn't stand much more of it."Wooby" Todd feeling all guilty and complimenting everyone was nauseating to me. I sat through it but, man, it wasn't until today that I really remembered what I was missing and realized HOW MUCH!! This is what makes Todd fun- he's an asshole.And prone to uncontrollable fits of anger and rage.  And he lashes out against anyone who's in his path.  That's my boy!!

It started last week when Todd turned stone cold and silent as he listened to Johnny confess. Then, when he confronted Johnny, he slowly took off his jacket and his watch and then started wailing on Johnny. A great Crazy Todd moment. But Friday it kicked in and Monday, it should be on!! Welcome back, Todd, we missed you!

The Todd and John antagonism is not new but in it's infancy.  It  seems it will kick into high gear as we speak. The Todd and John bromance started when Todd first returned and it was superfun.  Todd was being "protected" by John, excuse the use of the term, and they were roomies for a while. Hell, they even shared beer and clothes and a hatred of SNV.  But, as Todd noted, he usually didn't go back to a man's apartment with him until the third date or so.  Although he did find John to be a hottie.

John soon found that Todd won't- and can't- be protected or controlled as he took John's tux and headed straight to where he shouldn't- the Vickerman Premiere! There he outed himself to his family, told his story, and laid a big one on Blair, explaining he was her dude and that was all he wrote.  John was, well, not happy.


It went downhill from there for what appears to be no reason. Nimnuts needed to make something happen, so suddenly John was sure Todd was a big bad guy, which he is to some extent, but there was no reason for John to think it. He'd been part of Team Todd as opposed to Team Victor until he suddenly jumped ship and joined Team Hatred for, well, no apparent reason.  And it led up to the post-coital break in, arrest, and there you have it.

Obviously, this is all more plot point. I argue that Blair's alleged engagement was a way to make Todd angry enough to send the pictures to Nat and have her dump him and pave the way for Valentini's McBam wet dream. Now, he can also set up the big GH "Todd/John" rivalry and make it possible for the two of them to eat the entire show alive.  For a while, John ate the show. Then, Todd ate the show. Soon, they'll both eat the show in whole while their "girls" are on their sides- Sam and Blair, respectively.

I sense that Blair will attempt to mitigate Todd's vendetta as Sam will for John's feelings as she kind of likes Todd, even though he stole her baby.  People tend to let him off the hook for that for some reason. Sorry, Codd fans.  That dead fish is really red and a herring.

What's next? I can speculate from now till doomsday but I won't as it might ruin my good mood. I'm happy for now and keeping my fingers crossed that Frank has built it so we can all come.

Well, we know John will. And with Blair on her way, Todd probably will, as well. Dude needs it. He's wound tight as a drum.

The Plight of The Network Executive: "Stop Being Mean to Me"

So Vicki Drummer does an interview with Michael Fairman and says the fans are mean to her.........Are you kidding me? Stop being mean, Vicki?  What is this- high school? What a whiner.  Take your shit and own it, Honey. You want to play with the big boys, you need to be able to take it.  This isn't free play on the playground, Vicks. You're a big time network executive. GROW THE FUCK UP! And grow a spine while you're at it.

Now, maybe I should be nicer to her. I won't say that she looks fat in that picture on Fairman's site. I won't say that she looks matronly in that picture. I won't say that she needs a makeover to be in the public eye at all. I won't say any of those things. Does that make you feel better, Vicki?  I'm not making personal attacks and calling you a "Nellie" or ask you if you want cheese with that whine?  No, I won't say any of those things. You obviously are too weak to deal with it.

But I will say this: I'm lambasted on the internet daily from my constituents-meaning students- and all I do is try to help them become more enlightened and make better choices in their lives. For that I'm personally attacked, have my livelihood challenged, and have my feelings hurt. And, you know what, Vicki, I TAKE IT!!! IT'S PART OF MY JOB!!! Believe me, I don't get anything close to the compensation you're pulling down, Vicks. You try to give a B+ to someone who never got one and see the amount of shit you get.  Then whine to me about "mean" people.

And, unlike you and your cronies, I've never thrown hundreds of people out of work, disappointed millions, and attempted to kill a form of expression to make more money.  Worst of all, you didn't make more money. You've failed miserably. You not only look like a bully, you're an ineffective bully, and now, you're a WHINY BULLY!

So, you've earned the scorn. You didn't even make more money for your shareholders, so they hate you, too. Good job, Vicki, nice work. And you can't believe people are mean to you??? Grow a pair, Vicki, you sound like a big ass baby.  You all fucked up, ruined many real people's lives and careers, and upset the fans who were loyal to your network for decades.  DEAL WITH IT!!!!!

Have some integrity which, it's obvious, your network never did have. Don't complain about people not being nice. You took a job and you made a decision. Maybe it wasn't yours. That's not our problem. You represent the people who made it.  You have no right to come out now and complain about criticism. It's not only unseemly, it makes you look ridiculous. It makes you appear to be a victim when we all know who the real victims are here. So, in case you forgot, let's run down who those people are, shall we?

The Creatives- meaning the actors, the writers, the producers, and so on


The Crew


The Ancillary Small Business People who made a living off of several active studios in Manhattan


The Fans


The Culture

Need I continue? I don't think so....

But, let's all feel sorry for poor little Vicki. People are mean to her. I'm sure she can get comfort in her luxury automobile on the way to her beach house. I'm sure she can shop herself into feeling better. I'm sure she can eat more. And drink more. And, for a capper, obviously whine more!!!

Don't look to us to stop being mean or feel bad for you. You deserve the abuse, now more than ever. And, by the way, Vicki, BITE ME!! Your network made a dumb move, had an even worse way of dealing with it, and now are complaining about the mean old fans hurting your iddle widdle feelings. Aw, poor Vicki.

Let's not even look at the derogatory way you all defined said fans for years. No, let's not get into that. Your network felt as if you were above them- which, personally, I find hysterical.  I'll put my credentials up against yours any day, Vicks. Let's not talk about all the doctors and lawyers and professors and teachers and writers and so on and so on and so on....Nah, let's not talk about them. How about the big ass federal judge whose name you'd know from her decisions who's a fan?  Are you all superior to her? I don't think so. Her job actually matters!!!! In fact, after reading this interview, I think you need a little more education and training in public relations.

So, we'll stop being mean to you, Sweetie.  You obviously can't take it. You obviously don't have the courage of your convictions. You can fire people, put people out of work, take away their livelihood and legacy, but someone calls you a name and you cry like a little girl.

Here's a story for you.  One of the most well respected names in my field was an assistant professor when I was in grad school.  She was a little girl, not especially attractive, with coke bottle glasses. Yet she was brilliant and funny and one of my favorite people. She and I would hide in her office and watch AMC and when students knocked on the door, we'd pretend we weren't there as we didn't want to be interrupted.  Her student evaluations, or as we call it "Get Back at Teacher Day", were mostly wonderful as she was not only a great scholar but a fabulous teacher.  At any rate, one semester a student wrote "Your glasses make you look retarded".  Nice.  Very nice. Did she whine about it to the other students and tell them how mean they were?  No. Did she run to the University and cry like a little weasel? No.  Know what she did? She told me, we laughed a little and she decided to get new glasses. Know why? They were kind of right.

See the point, Toots?  Maybe your critics, no matter how mean, have a point.

Now stop crying about it!!!No one feels sorry for you. You look pathetic.Your network cancelled these shows and didn't make any friends in how you did it. Own your dastardly deed and MOVE ON!!Now, if you want to give them back in a super, special form, we can talk..........

But until then, stop whining, Cruella.  No one likes you and you need to own it. And, by the way, you need a new look. I suggest this:

Now that's a bitch who can take it.