The New Trio of Terror or the Dumbest Duo in the West?: The OLTL/GH Saga Continues

I wasn't even going to acknowledge this much more as I find it ludicrous, but I'm in between classes, have graded all my work, can't find anyone to talk to, and have two hours to kill. So, What the Hell, why not rag on actors for a while? I'm due for it, anyway.

Here goes.  I don't care what happens to the Easton/Alderson/Howarths of the world. I'm not that interested. I'm more interested in trying to get King of all Prick Bastards, Antonin Scalia, unseated, as well that Uncle Tom Piece of Shit, Clarence Thomas. Don't start me on the shenanigans in the Supreme Court! That's not fun. I miss Thurgood Marshall. But, he's dead. Yet some of the best people are dead.....

But I digress.

At any rate, I don't care if these people are out of work or not, really. I don't care about GH surviving or not. Because, like all AMC/OLTL fangurls, I bear a deep resentment for GH as they were saved when the superior shows were murdered, but I don't really care. In fact, I prefer to let it go out as the moronic piece of crap it is under Nimnuts more than anything else. That seems fitting. It's like getting put on Death Row and having to take appeal after appeal being denied and you're being starved slowly of hope. I like that.  In the end, when you're finally put to death, you're the shell of what you were.

I like that.  But I don't care what happens because, well, I think I know.  Anyone who thinks Howarth ain't running back to OLTL forever is not watching him or paying attention. I swear I've seen him laugh at his "love interest" when he's supposed to be genuine. I swear I saw him look at his watch when she's being sincere and gentle. I swear I saw him call his agent when he was supposedly in serious scenes to get his ass out of there ASAP! But, maybe he's not. If he does go back to GH for good, sobeit. Good for him. Let him rot. I do know TODD'S going back to Llanview after the alleged jaunt back to GH. That's all I care about.

But I don't think that's happening. I think he's running as fast as his little, well pedicured feet can take him back to New York. I'll be honest. I don't know if his feet are little or well pedicured because I'm not interested.

But I digress.

Yet I have noticed that Howarth has looked as if he smells something really bad in most of his GH scenes. He looks as if he's wondering where it's coming from and he's confused. But he smells it and it's really bad. He checks out others to see if it's them, then, with a sudden reaction, he realized it was everywhere. He looked nauseous last time I saw him.  

What's he smelling?, I thought. Is Craft Services serving Liver?  Excuse the pun! What is it that he can't abide?  Then, the other day, I got it.  IT'S THE STINK OF THE LOSER!!! He's smelling the Stink of the Loser and he's noticing that it may now be on him. He better get away and air out or it will be with him forever.  Thank God he noticed when he did. Or he'd be infected with that stench for life!!

Run, Roger, Run! Run fast or you'll be sprayed by the Pepe Le GH and be stuck there forever. It's so bad only those with the Stink can bear to smell it. You'll be doomed. You'll never make it, Paddlefoot! Guess he's  not a full loser yet, huh, as he can still smell it around him. He's like the cat who got in the paint in the WB cartoons with Pepe LePew.  GH and Ms.Wright are Pepe, trying to woo him and he's cornered. In panic, he runs as he needs to get away, forever! Save me, Prospect Park. Save me and what's left of my career!!

I suppose that's why he jumped when PP called. That and he probably can't bear to be away from his bestest galpal and Member of the Mutual Admiration Society, the Empress Erika.  Those two have been in love since Todd met Niki in that airport bar and she hit on him.

EEWWW but now, it's rather sweet. I swear I saw them fall in love in that creepy scene. He recoiled there, as he does with Ms. Wright, but in the "right" way. How about some more? Just for fun and because there's so much more to look forward to! Yeah Todd and Viki!!

Not Howarth recoiling, but Todd. With Ms. Wright, it's Howarth and all kinds of wrong.

But, again, I digress.

It's rather touching how his love affair with ES  manifests itself.  And it makes me like him personally. How can I not like someone Slezak crushes on? She's the female David Canary. I must do as she says!!She's a soap God and we are all her little peons, happily doing her bidding.

But, know who is fully indoctrinated into Loserdom? Guess. It's a small one but a big one at the same time. Yes, we knew her, we loved her, but we can live without her, Little Ms. Alderson.

Now, I loved lil Starr as much as anyone when she was the Psycho Brat from Hell but let's be honest, that was a long time ago. This chick- not my type. And the actress needs to use social media for her little friends and not the general public. What's cute for a 20 year old is tacky to the older folk. Really, Honey, I spend my life with 20 year olds. I've known more than you can count.

What happens with 20 year olds needs to stay with 20 year olds.

I don't need to see that. I was that and I looked as moronic as you do. But I'm not opening myself up to the public to judge me. Really, Hon, less is more. A lot less.  Thank God there was no Facebook in the '80s. I'd have been all over the internet doing "OZZY" with one hand as I placed an arm around a random man, a drink and a cigarette in another hand, and had really red eyes all the time, and not from the camera.

Not even a little pretty. What else was there to do in East Central Illinois? So many fraternity parties, so little time.

But, again, I digress.

So, Alderson is fully infected with the Stink of the Loser. She can't let go. That's too bad. Now, this isn't official, but I see it that she doesn't want to go back as Howarth does. If it were temporary, as some say, she'd do it in a minute, I'm sure. It would be a moment in her life and then back to LA.

 But she's not. That makes me think it's NOT temporary. It's permanent. Otherwise, why the fuss? Yeah, that's it. That makes sense. The "going for the launch" is crap and this is for good. Yeah, that makes sense. Lil Krissie is happy with the Losers now and if she heads back, the others will smell how bad she is. Yup. That's it. That's the ticket.......

So Lil Ms. A will stay. Now, Starr, that's another story. I got an A in Intellectual Property. I get copyrights. I wrote about them in a book. I know this shit. Starr's leaving but Ms. Thang ain't. I see. And it makes Howarth's alleged GH "return" make more sense, too. He'll finish up his moment in Loserville and run. I get it. Even Losers get contracts. 

Good luck, Ms. Thang. I hope it works for you. Seriously. I don't care. Stay, go, don't care. I loved her as a kid, now.....not so much. I pretty much think all 20 year olds are the same. Unless they share a gene pool with me, I'm not that interested. I did just have a 20 year old cry to me and call me insensitive. I stared at her. Maybe I am. Oh, well! She didn't share a gene pool with me and I had better things to do.

Sorry, again, I digressed.

Next  topic?

Isn't he cute? I don't care what Easton does as I like Easton. I like to think he has a natural immunity to the Stink of the Loser. Yeah, I'll think that. He's immune. That's it. Alderson- she's young and maybe she can go through recovery. But I doubt it. Easton- he's immune. Yeah, that's the ticket.

He seems like a nice guy and, in real life, he looks cute and charming. I really like him even though I don't know much about him. The few things I've heard and articles I've seen, he seems like a doll. I wish him well. It isn't like John is a major, core character on OLTL. I'm sure he'll be gone, too, but it's irrelevant to me.  He's fine and I loves me some Bo and John bonding, but I can lose it and not lose sleep. I'm fine with that.  Have at it, Easton, and best to you and your family. GH is a loser but if that's what you want, best of luck. Use your natural immunity to the best of your ability.

Again, John may be leaving but Easton, stay, leave, don't care. It's immaterial to me. I liked Nat better without John.  So, that's my take. And as much interest as I can muster up about it. Which is not much apparently.

Easton and Alderson stay in LA. Howarth OUT!! I can live with that. Or not. I wonder if we can work this for the Supreme Court? If we send the Stink of the Loser there- will Scalia catch it and be shunned, retiring in disgrace? Oh, that's good. I have to go. I have calls to make.....

It's Back, Bitches: AMC Rises From the Dead!

Okay, I feel like a complete loser that I cry over a TV show. Not the content, mind you, that's fine, but the show itself. But when AMC was cancelled, I cried like a baby. I still cry thinking about it. I'm trying not to cry right now. But, with the hideous Shakespearean tragedy my life has become, that's not hard. My cousins and I cry at the drop of hat and we were always kind of sarcastic, hardass broads. Yet finally, I can cry over something happy.

AMC is back, Baby, and almost everyone I love is coming with it.

Not only is my boyfriend, Dr. Dave, Master of Time, Space, and Dimension, coming over but almost every other person of quality. I'll use character names because, come on, you know who they are! It's Angie, Jesse, Brooke, and....omg....wait for it.

ADAM!!! Yeah, I said it- Adam Fucking Chandler. I saw a picture of him in the studio this week and screamed out loud. Right out loud, like a silly fangurl which I have to admit, I am.  There he was- King of the Fucking Soap Opera Universe- David Canary.  And Brooke?  OMG, yeah, that'll make a girl cry.

You see AMC speaks to so much more to me than a TV show and I've gone over that so much I'm bored with it. It's the show I watched in the high chair. It's the show I watched when I went to preschool and junior high and college and grad school. It's the show I lost track of and now that I lost it, I can't believe I didn't hold on for dear life. I miss it like a great friend who was pulled away from you, but then moves back. And I couldn't be happier.

Well, I could. I could be happier if I had Tad and  Jake. That would make me decidedly happier. But, I'm not THAT selfish. I loved Tad since he walked in the door and started nailing Liza and her mother. I loved Tad when he was Ted Orsini- well, maybe not, but I love him.

My  favorite Tad memory has nothing to do with Tad. At University of Illinios-Urbana, 1985, Bromley Hall, there was a guy who looked a lot like Tad. Soaps were huge at the time and my friend, Stacy, would harass this poor guy mercilessly. She called him "Tad" to his face- as we didn't know his name and, well, didn't care. She'd sit in the cafeteria and wait for him to walk by and then discuss "his" behavior recently. She'd say "Tad, how could you have done that to Hilary?" and so forth. She'd outstretch her coffee cup and say "Here's to you, Tad!" I cracked up. The guy thought she was a lunatic and a bit of a stalker, which I guess she was, but I found it hysterical. She left school shortly thereafter. Don't know what happened to her but, I suppose, I don't care. She amused me at that moment and I appreciate that. We wish her well in further endeavors.

But I'll miss Tad. Although I love him enough to give MEK his time and wish him the best, I'll wait patiently. He's earned it. Besides, I know he'll be back! Tad always comes home. Dr. Joe needs him. You see, all parents need their children and all children, even as adults, still need their parents. Siblings may move on from one another and betray each other, but in the perfect world, parents are a constant. I can't wait to see Dr. Joe. I think I'll melt down right then and there. I'll applaud like a schoolgirl when I see Todd and Viki but Dr. Joe will make me a chocolatey mess.

At any rate, I hear Lucci is going on The View on Monday and I have to make sure I'm at the Nursing Home in time to see it. It will be odd. I visit my mother and my aunt in the Memory Unit before class on Monday and hearing about AMC returning with them will be bittersweet. AMC is all about them to me and losing them slowly is too heartbreaking to express.

But I'll lay on my mother's bed with her and watch Lucci announce the resurrection of the show my mother watched with me when she held me as a baby. I'll clutch onto her and she'll stroke my hair as she still does, as if I'm the baby again and in her mind, I might be. It's the moment when I can still feel my mother in there somewhere in the mess that has become her brain.  Maybe it will make some headway with them to see Lucci and hear her talk about this show coming back from the dead. They sometimes remember old times and the look of recognition in their eyes makes me comforted for a moment.  But it's just a moment and they're lost again. I only wish those two women who mean more to me than almost anything could come back full force like AMC will. But they can't.

I guess we can't have everything, huh? I guess we need to happy with what we can get. David and Dr. Joe and Brooke and Adam and Jesse and Angie is a good start. And a good look of disdain and hurt from Viki to a mournful, desperate Todd will be a bonus. But that's another blog for another time. 

Is OLTL on yet?

As The Worm Turns- For Reals This Time: A Warning to the Major Players on GH

Okay, so it seems the most interesting thing happening on daytime soaps is behind the scenes. The "creatives", as they're called, are more into making their lives into drama than they are into making their shows drama. Hey, Nimnuts, if you wrote your boringass show as interesting as what's happening behind the show, maybe you'd have some more viewers. Sheesh.

So, my former friend Frank Valentini, seems to be throwing a hissy fit and stamping his feet because Prospect Park took their toys and are going home. He's all angry and stabby and wanting to throw things because he can't keep "his" characters.  He's smearing and spitting and threatening and trying to use everything in his nasty man playbook to make sure "his" Trio of Terrror remain on GH.

Give it up, Frank, you lost and you look like a bitter bitch. And a traitor at the same time.

So, here's where we stand. Todd, Starr, and John are going home to Llanview which, thankfully exists with old writers and familiar faces.  I have to just say this-  VIKI!!!!!!!!!!!- okay, feel better. But former fangurl and producer, Frankie Boy, is angry he can't go, too, and wants to keep his people with him. Now, Dude, that's desperate and bitter. You're acting as if you're the rebound girl who can't handle it when the real thing comes along and you got dumped. Or you're acting like the old girlfriend Middle Aged Mel found on Facebook and leaves his family for, only to be left when Melly misses Mommy and little Maureen and Max.

Let it go, Buddy, you're pissing off everyone.

At any rate, that's the deal now but Buddy Boy, as any jilted woman would do who's bitter and angry, doesn't say "Go, be happy. I always loved you". No, of course not. He says, "Oh yeah, well, I'm calling your wife and telling her I'm knocked up. You have to stay with me!"  Nice, nice move, Frank.  He's trying to hold on to the actors so they can't go back. He'll create new characters for them on GH. This is basically a Neener, Neener, Neener as at least two are on long term contracts- ME and KA- and Howarth is as flighty as a girl with too many dates for the dance.  He'll go wherever he chooses for whatever reason.

It is being reported that Mr. Howarth signed for only one year and that makes sense. GH was- and is to some of us- on life support, so why sign more and he signed for a year allegedly with OLTL, so why would he sign long term?  That really rings true to me. I believe that in the morass of "insider" info lately.  Also, PP, which is handling itself quite well in all this compared to ABC's smears and bitchslapping in the "soap press", put out a release discussing only ME and KA in terms of negotiations. 

Now, even a first year PR student can put the correct content in a press release. Well, at least mine can. So, they left out Howarth for a reason.  THEY MEANT TO!! Not only won't they be open to "share" Todd Manning, they don't have to deal with ABC on Howarth as he's probably a free agent. So, all in all, it's about what will Roger do? Will he stay, will he go? What?

Is anyone else tired of Howarth's contract antics that have plagued everyone for years? I am. I am so over them. In fact, after this stunt on GH, I'm pretty much over Howarth in general. I was never into him other than as Todd and as I've been yelling from rooftops for almost a year, I don't dig Todd out of Llanview. He needs his "peeps", especially those who hate him! 

Oh, and I need to say this- NORA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!- yeah!!!

But I digress. Howarth, Dude, if you want to stay on ABC and be a crap GH character, bless ya, Baby. Go for it. I no longer care. PP, recast. Really. I'm done with all this crap. I think it's a massive mistake but you're the one who played the insipid and sleep inducing Paul Pablum Ryan for who knows how long. And, really who cares how long? It was not good and not fun and I'm not interested in watching Howarth's not so pretty face. He's, well, not my type. I loved him as Todd on OLTL but at this point, he's an annoyance to me.

If he's so stupid,  let him stay. Ya see, Frank, this is a massive mistake. You're pissing off everyone if you try to get Howarth to stay and make him Joe Blow who's crawled up Carly's ass. The GH fans aren't interested in general and you'll make him the star of the show. The OLTL fans are already hating you. They'll go, for sure, so what do you win? The ones who just want to see Roger nekkid? Yeah, that's good. Okay, you take them and be happy.

But remember this. We are a fanbase of women and gay men in general. We don't forget or forgive easily.  Are you listening, Roger?  We see that you aren't a team player and we get that. That's your prerogative. Yet the only reason you have the cushy situation and that nice salary is because we welcomed you back as Todd. You took off before. We all lived and didn't hate you. However, this time it's different.  This time, you'll be a traitor. And that can't be good. As women and gay men, this is you essentially leaving us for another woman when we're pregnant.  And that's ugly.

This is your show with your people and your fans and they're trying to make it work again. You, not coming back, is really nasty. You can help make it happen and be a success. I have no doubt it can work without you.  Oh, and I need to say this-  BO!!!!!!!!!- yeah!  But, I digress. And David!!!!!!

Sorry, it's getting worse, almost like Turret's.  Anyway, if you don't help, I know they'll recast as Todd is too necessary. And, ya know what, I'll happily support that. Because, if you don't come, you're an asshole. That's all I have to say.

Frank, you're being an asshole, too. You are angry you can't go and you're being a pisser about it. Let us have our damn show back with the damn actors. If Alderson wants to stay, fine. I would like to have Easton back as he seems like a doll in real life and he's kinda cute and I loves me some John and Bo, but I'll live with it if he's Caleb. I think he and Monaco are kind of hot. But Howarth??  That's a low blow to something you claim to love.

And I know you do. And, think about this, Frank. It's the same for you as it is with Howarth. What if OLTL works and GH will undoubtedly be pulled soon enough. What  then? What if you wanted back in? Who would let you? The fans already are starting to really hate you. But, we know, we're irrelevant. But PP might hate you, too, and Disney. You're being a petulant child. And we know bad boys and girls never get to go to Disneyland again.........

So, think about it. You have a lot to work with on GH. Be happy with it. But stop being an asshole. Oh, and Roger, Buddy, don't be a moron. Todd's the bread and butter for you. If you screw him one more time, he may not be around to feed your kid in the future.

Remember, Guys, "you take my ending, I take yours"! And this time, it may be an ending in real life, too.   Imagine this in about five years, "Roger Who? Oh, that guy who used to play Todd? Oh, I hear he's doing dinner theater in Padukah...and he's fat".

But Ronnie's right. Maybe this show isn't for you. And then you aren't for us either. It was nice knowing you but we can move on, too.