The Dismal Players in ABC Daytime: Couldn't Happen to Nicer Guys!

The ratings came out for the ABC line up last week and the numbers for their chat show offerings were terrible.  BITE ME, ABC, and you can print it!!  I've never seen anything more suitable for you.  You reap what you sow and, it seems, you sowed a lot of shit.

Soon it will the clear how smart it was for ABC to make it's "bold" move to cancel two shows with strong audiences and legacies for two pieces of crap that could have been produced by my twelve year old niece in Glencoe, Illinois, in her basement.  Wait a minute. That's not fair.  She and her friends would have produced much better shows and although she, too, is a redhead, she would have been so much more likable as a host than sweaty, icky Mario Batalli.  He's a massive douchebag.  And he's fat. My niece, on the other hand, is neither fat nor is she icky. And I rarely see her sweat except in a soccer game.  In fact, she's fabulous! And she can cook her little heart out.

But, again, I digress.  The numbers show that they are down on all sides.  Too bad. I would have thought that icky, sweaty guy and that annoying Hootie-Hoo with the bug eyes would be ever so popular. In a country plagued by ever-increasing waistlines and diminishing IQ scores, that's just what we need.  A show that teaches us to eat, teaches us to live "healthy", and a show that displays four pre- or actively menopausal women talking about nothing important and pretending they know about things that are important.  Please, someone put a cork in Hasselbeck. She's so dumb it makes me want to stab somebody.  

Ugh.  I'd rather be watching the show from the basement. At least that may be original. Glencoe is a pleasant little town, very wooded with lovely homes and a beautiful lakefront. But, again, I digress.  However, it seems, the country agrees with me.

We can't say enough about the dismal ratings of The Revolution.  They're down 46% from last year.  About this time last year, Todd Manning was escaping captivity and venturing upon his Lurking Tour 2011.  What a good time that was now that we look back on it.  At the time, it was a bit draggy. But, man, what I wouldn't give now to see him glare at Special Needs Vic, bond with little Sam, almost show himself to Viki, and chase after Blair like a dog in heat.  Well, I hear we'll see that last one soon enough. But I'd rather it be in Llanview.

These numbers are pitiful. So pitiful, in fact, that those morons cancelled that piece of crap already. That should make people feel better, but it doesn't.  Doesn't make up for the fact that hundreds of people were put out of work.  Doesn't make up for the lost revenue for the vendors who serviced that active set in Manhattan. And, doesn't make up for the loss of a program that millions of people loved and hundreds worked to make matter.  Oh, well, just snuffed out for a moronic, dull moment in daytime that no one will remember except those who it hurt. Viva la ABC!  Incompetence at it's finest!  The Legacy of Brian Frons lives on....

The Chew is doing poorly, as well.  They're down 19% in key demos from last year when AMC was on.  Now, that doesn't seem as bad. But you have to look at it in context.  AMC was already in the toilet.  OLTL, on the other hand, was not.  So, if The Chew- or The Spew, as some call it- is down 19%, that still means they're below the shit ratings of AMC by almost 20%. They took the bad ratings even further down. So they are, in fact almost as bad as The Revolution, just not quite.  But almost.  The Revolution just had further to go as OLTL was holding it's own quite well.

Cheap piece of crap or not, that ain't good.  It must take a lot of money to keep craft services stocked with a fatass like Batalli around.  Good job, ABC.  You see, Dumbasses, you could have improved AMC back to quality with a little work. You can't improve this loser- it sucks and it will continue to suck. How many "theme shows" can you have?  I never want to see anyone in pajamas again, like ever. I know how to cook healthy and make a turkey.  Move on!  It's dull and the cast is so irritating, I can't even sit through a fucking promo.  And they're all ugly.  What's with that? Aren't there any attractive chefs in the world? I know I've seen a few on Top Chef.  It can't get better because there's nothing to improve. It's ugly, insipid, and mind-numbingly dull. It was a loser when it started and it will be a loser when it ends. Hopefully, that will be soon.

You could have made AMC good again by dumping the Ryan and Greenlee show and focusing on the basics- those characters who mattered and the people who could act.  It was possible. It happened with OLTL.  But, why try, right?  Just dump it and move on.  Well, you did. And, now, you're not only in the toilet, your numbers are way down the sewer line.  Seems fitting for a piece of shit.

And, of course, you have The View. I don't care about them so I won't comment. I don't watch it because I'm not a mindless house frau.  You see, Fuckheads, that's who watches crap talk shows in the daytime.  That's NOT the daytime audience in total.  There is a wide variety of us- some with jobs even- and we chose to watch those crap shows you so callously killed for your precious bottom line.  How does that bottom line look now, Asswipes?  Not so good, huh?  Oh well. Couldn't happen to nicer guys.

So, you regret your mistakes and now you're trying to somehow get Valentini to do something about it?  I doubt that.  You're just looking for more cheap crap.  But, until you do, you'll let GH live on life support and turn it into OLTL.  Now, that's the first good decision you've made.  Congratulations, Nimnuts, and I don't mean Carlivati, even though he's benefiting from your incompetence currently.  

Oh, and Katie, her numbers are gonna suck because, remember, we chose to watch those shows you cancelled. We made time for them.  We looked forward to them.  We dvr'd them and chatted about them.  They had people on them we liked and cared about.  Katie?  Not so much.  She's vapid, uninteresting, phoney, and, oh yeah, not very bright.  Just like the audience you thought you had.

Guess again.  But they're the ones you've got now.  Good for you!!

I'll be on the other feed, watching that hip, new show from the basement.  I hear it's hot and has a smart little redhead behind it who happens to be named after Kelly Ripa's character on AMC.  I think I'll pitch it to HBO. They know quality when they see it.  I wonder if Slezak would make an appearance?  Todd and Viki hit Glencoe?  I could see it.  Harold Ramis lives down the street. Maybe he'd be interested.  I'll have to stop by next time we're walking the dog.............

The Unchecked Power of the "Insider": The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Much of the fun of being a soap opera fan is in the sense of community. Fans of daytime scripted drama, like fans of other dramatic programming and literature, enjoy the comradery of the fan culture. It is in this culture that they exchange opinions, insight, and conjecture.  It's special in daytime because it was, until recently, a lifetime commitment.  Fans were not just fans for a season or a few seasons, but forever.  They came to this experience with a lifetime of knowledge and insight into the characters, the actors, and the creative teams.

With the introduction of the internet, a new player emerged into the field.  We call this person the "insider" and said insider possesses what soap fans crave- information.  And, unfortunately, this insider wields some power over the fans and often uses that to market the show, gauge fan reaction, or, most notably, gain power for their own reasons.  I have noticed in the last few years, the "insider" has gone from simple to complex and, lately, can be more problematic not just for the fan experience but for the show itself.  These people need to be stopped as daytime is at a crisis point and these schmucks aren't helping anyone but themselves.

Possibly what fans enjoy more than anything is the speculation of what will happen next.  We love to go back and forth, compare history and character and writer and try to predict future story.  Will there be consequences for the actions?  Will there be retribution for the evil deed?  Will the betrayal be found out and, when it is, what will happen next?  In other words, we all want to know what will happen before it happens because, well, in Yiddish, we're a bunch of "Yentas".  This means we can't stop gossiping and need to know all now and then won't shut up about it!!  In some ways, we're traditional stereotypes of  women and gay men. Hey, if the shoe fits, we gotta wear it, Ladies and very hip Dudes.


So, due to our need to know, and know first, BTW, this gives an alleged "insider" a privileged position.   They are then in a power position over the fans.  In interpersonal communication, they define power as having the means to meet the needs of others. If you can fulfill the needs of people, you have power over them.  If you can prove that you ALONE can fulfill those needs, then you have the ultimate power and can use that in any fashion you choose. Often that power leads to a fascistic use and allows for abuse.

Recently, it seems that the "insiders" seem to feel that they have this authoritarian form of power over the fans. Rather than promote the show and tease the fans, this form of insider tends to use his moment in the spotlight to torment them, chastise them, insult them, and possibly use the forum as a bully pulpit for their own grudges and ideas.  In other words, the insider turns into a megalomaniac.  And, in my opinion, they need to stop.  Possibly for therapy.

They are no longer helping these shows but causing serious unrest in the fanbase. At a time when all shows need as many viewers as possible and even more support, these insiders are undercutting that enthusiasm and driving fans away.  It seems that maybe it's time to drive the "insider" away and let the fans think for themselves.

It's been discussed that one specific insider is using his "forum" to not help the show he speaks about but actually hurt it. Rumor is he is no longer employed and is attempting to exact revenge on those who fired him.  This is purely conjecture but it is an interesting theory.  Attempting to abuse fans and destroy the good will the show is attempting to build would achieve that nefarious end.  It's evil but effective.

It has been mentioned that this information is not only destructive, but false. And, in disseminating it, it will drive away future viewers who wanted another outcome and then the show will sink even further.  This is a particularly hateful tactic as it tends to hurt everyone. The fans are distraught as their hopes are dashed.  The show is hurt as the ratings surge they hoped this story may give them won't happen as the fans are not supportive.  In the long run, the insider who is allegedly "marketing" the show is in fact destroying it.  People are then fired, shows are cancelled, and fans are unhappy.  Who wins here?  I guess the "insider" who possibly has some bad intentions.


But what if the information is true?  Do the fans need to be "warned"?  I would argue that is ridiculous. It achieves the negative outcome outlined above instead of the opposite. The goal here is to get people to watch. If you want people to watch, even if they'll eventually be disappointed, you still want them to watch!!!  Otherwise, this is an exercise in futility.  Dashing their hopes and pissing on their joy is not going to achieve this end.  People who are told that they will not be getting what they want will NOT watch.  In other words, there is no reason for this behavior. It should be stopped.


If anyone with any power is reading this, put a cork in these guys.  They're not helping you.  Website Administrators, they're driving people OFF your site, not to it.  If they hate the info they get, they don't care if it's juicy or not. They still hate it. They'll lose interest or resent the "insider".  Either way, you lose traffic.  Ban these people. They're hurting the experience.

Now, there are legit insiders who simply drop info and run.  That's one thing. They're not there for the power or the "glory", such as it is. That's not what I'm discussing here. But the "insider" who returns over and over, some of them daily, are not there just to share. They're there, well, I don't know why they're there. But there's some reason and it can't be good. If they really were working on the sets and in the industry, shouldn't they be too busy to show up on a message board every day? Don't they have better things to do than argue that they're right and the fans are stupid and should listen to them- not the actors, not other insiders, and not to their own internal knowledge of the characters.  But to THEM- the insider.

Now, come on, that's sick.  And creepy.

But what do I know? I'm just a moronic fan and silly professor. All I have is an office full of diplomas, a lot of letters after my name, and years of scholarly research and study under my belt.  I'm too stupid. I need an insider to learn me them facts!!  It's good that I have one or I'd be lost in enjoying the last days of a genre I love.  Thank God they showed me the error of my ways.

I'd be lost without my insider.

The Mouth That Roared: Lucci Hijacks the Emmy Tribute

Okay, I've made it no secret that I am not a Susan Lucci fan. If you are, you probably want to skip this as it won't be pretty.  I don't mean to offend any of her fans, who I respect, but I am about to start with a the rant filled with the rage of unknown proportions and point it all at La Lucci.

As I've said before, I think she's untalented, overrated, and pompous.  This last Saturday night confirmed every bad thing I ever thought about her.  Holy Ego, Batman, how narcissistic can one short, elderly actress be?  

Lucci's oration about her greatness and her character completely hijacked the already disappointing Daytime Emmy program. And, if it wasn't bad enough, she had the talentless dolt Cameron Matheson smarming it up beside her as the elegant Erika Slezak tried to get a word in edgewise.  In characteristic bad taste, she took the utterly awful "tribute moment" to discuss herself, her character, and her importance to a genre that is dying.  Nice work, Lucci, you just proved what you really are- an egomaniac.



I'm sorry but it makes me go nuclear when I see Lucci being lauded for that great show when she brought a lot of attention but not a lot of substance.  I know she's an "icon".  Great. Good for her. She brought a lot of attention to daytime and to AMC. It was good for the show and ratings. I concede that point. But when the show is over and there's a moment to pay tribute to the program, why must this egomaniac talk about herself and nothing else?  Must she rub it in everyone's face that she was the show?  I guess so and from what I've seen in terms of reaction, it's backfired.  She showed who she was- a self-promoter who rode the coattails of people with more talent into history.  Thankfully, last Saturday night was her swan song. She showed her true colors and the last moment in the spotlight always overrides the others.

Please, someone pop this woman's balloon and tell her that she was never "all that" and that she needs to retire to Palm Springs with the rest of the senior citizens.  Her 15 minutes ended about 1974 and she needs to realize that.  Move on, Toots, and daytime ending has one redeeming element- I never have to roll my eyes at her Erica Kane stinking up my show ever again. Good riddance.

Well, maybe that's harsh.  But I am sick to death of that woman hijacking a show that at one point was spectacular. She may have been the most visible but she was never the most talented. AMC, the show of my family and childhood and wonderful memories, was carried by the people who stood on the sidelines, doing the heavy lifting, while blowhards like Lucci lapped up the spotlight.  I'm talking about David Canary, of course, and Michael E Knight, Julia Barr, Marcy Walker, Ray MacDonnell, Vincent Irizarry, Cady McClain, Darnell Williams, Debbi Morgan, James Mitchell, Kate Collins, Mary Fickett, Peter Bergman, Mark LaMura, Frances Heflin, Ruth Warrick, and countless others.  I could go on and on listing them all and if I forgot to specifically mention anyone, please leave their name in the comment section. It seems as if no one else will and damnit, they deserve the attention such as it is.

 

The great actors of daytime were not there to get famous. They were there for paychecks and to do the work.  Many were there because they loved the form.  Many were not but their motivations are not really important. They did a great job and entertained people and brought a lot of dignity to a genre that is maligned for being inadequate.  They took a lot of crap from their peers. They had their work degraded as "inferior".  They made far less money than their colleagues in other genres. But they showed up everyday and did a great job.  They made something that they could be proud of in the face of elitist mentalities and those people should have been applauded. Not someone who had a great promoter and publicist and a pretty face.  I find the whole display disgusting.

It was apparent what was happening there as I watched the wonderful Erika Slezak dressed in a tasteful black sequin gown stand awkwardly off to the side while those two blowhards babbled on and on.  When Lucci put her arm around Matheson, you could see her reach for Slezak, who recoiled a bit, and then relented and let the little "actress" hug her.  How nauseating that moment was to watch!!!  Poor Slezak had to grace the stage with those two to give the moment some credibility.  She did so with requisite class as anyone would expect of her.  She was one of the people who carried this genre on her back as she waded through the crap.

I won't even acknowledge the lack of tribute to OLTL, as there was no real tribute to AMC either, but I found the whole display disgusting and typical of what has happened. No one in that industry gives a shit and that's apparent. There's only one problem- we do!!  In a year when two shows were murdered for inferior crap that isn't even pulling in numbers that are close to their predecessors, another knife was placed in the back of daytime's creative teams, actors, and fans.  "Thank for your years of service and we wish you luck in future endeavors, now get the hell out...and don't let the door hit you on the way". 

It's even worse having one of "their own" twist the knife. The only solace I take from this incident is that it makes everyone see what Lucci really is.  Good job, Susan, you showed the world what matters most- glamor with no substance.  It now defines your last moment in daytime history.  And you once again showed how superior actors can upstage you by doing nothing.  

Hey, at least there's that.  I always thought Erica was there to show the world how dumb, vain, and pathetic women can be. You've now shown that you were perfect for that part.   

The Coming of the Soap Opera Apocalypse: Earthquakes

Okay, so in the list of things that are a sign of the End of Soap Opera Days, this one is a no-brainer. Let's call it a rash of natural disasters.  This is so common that it's hardly worth discussing.  Every Spring, there's a tornado.  Every winter, there's a snow storm "like the world has never seen".  Every so often, there's a crazy rain storm that hits out of nowhere and floods streets so old lovers can be trapped together and, undoubtedly, have sex.

This is so cliche, it's ridiculous.  But, what the hell? Let's talk about it anyway.  In fact, lazy writers have used this so often, it makes it less entertaining. Yet once in a while, there's a good one.  But rarely.  It seems to me that this is simply a symptom of the horrible writing that has tanked this genre.  So, I'm on board.  Besides the people having no love for one another and lawlessness and crazy wars, the natural disasters are indicative of where we went off the rails.  Come on, Guys and Maria Bell, can't you be a little more inventive to find ways to stick people together with the eventual result of having sex?  Can't you think of something a little more interesting?

Okay, so to be fair, sometimes, this stuff works.  The last storm on GH was stupid, but so is all of GH. It's a dumb plotpoint to get Sam and Tea to give birth at the same time in places other than hospitals.  And, I'm sorry, but Tea in labor is so unappealing, I think Todd may have had to grow an alter to get through it.  Hell, I might have.  I'll call her "Paddison" and she's deaf, so she didn't hear Tea's wailing and psycho shrying.  But it was still kind of amusing.  The storm worked in that respect. It drowned out some of Tea's screeching.

But it's so overused and comes out of nowhere. What about making the world a little less "stressful" in terms of natural disaster and making it about emotional disasters or business disasters?  The last disaster on OLTL was the blackout, but I'll let that one pass as it was man-made and brought us all those great people breaking out of prison. Anything that lets me see Mitch again works for me!  But couldn't there be something more inventive?  Like couldn't there have been a plain old prison break.  I know, the black out made for all that romantic lighting, but it could have been more like an old movie. They were more realistic...okay, that's a stretch.  But a thought.

The worst one I ever saw was on AMC and Bianca gave birth- what a shock- and Babe died.  I can't even remember what it was but I think it was a tornado or a flood or something. It was so bad, I don't even remember .  Now, as annoyed as I was with AMC at that point, killing Babe made it all worth it.  She was a waste of space and an insult to the great female characters AMC had in the past. But, as usual, I digress.

The point here is that the storm or natural disaster is all plot point that makes it easy to throw people together rather than having to write complex stories that build over time and bring people together in a realistic and rational way. I know I've lived through many a storm and even a slight tornado and countless snowstorms.  Yet I've never been trapped with someone I hardly know and it led to sex.  That's just, well, stupid. It's stupid in real life and it's stupid on a soap. But I have to admit that when Nick and Sharon got trapped in Jack's cabin in the snow and Brad died from driving into the pond and Phyllis flipped out about trying to get to them, it led to one helluva sex scene and romance galore.  That one worked real well but, hey, Nick and Sharon can sell it trapped or not.

I get how the disaster make for a lot of potential "OOO"s and "AAHH"s but, really, who cares?  We want to see complicated relationships, not buildings falling down and women screaming.  Maybe we can live with the men having their shirts torn, but there must be an easier way.  See: Valentini's patented sauna trick.  Really, though, it's another symptom of the end of the soap opera. It's the apocalypse coming because, in actuality, it's lazy writing.  And that's the real problem. There's a lot of issues, but that's what it all comes down to. And that's enough.

The Dangers of Manufactured Angst: Has Nimnuts Gone Too Far?

I watched OLTL, I mean "GH", on Monday and find the fascination with a skantily-clad Roger Howarth infinitely amusing.  You should be very complimented, Dude, these broads love you to pieces.  Although I found the scenes silly and a bit dull as seeing a bare-chested Howarth isn't enough to keep me interested, I saw a lot of fans up in arms.  I shook my head, watching some have kanipshins while others, like myself, saw them as being plot point, titillation, and typical of what this genre has become.  Although it can be argued that they were meant to objectify a man- which I am completely in favor of, BTW- I found them to be playing bullshit games with the audience and fanbases.  

It's one of the problems we encounter in this genre and one that is taken to an extreme by Carlivati, or as he's affectionately known to me as "Nimnuts". Enraging fans and trying to make them panic is NOT a good thing. It doesn't keep them engaged.  It makes them hate you, some turn off the set, and it's NOT part of the old adage "make them wait". It's a cheap tactic instead of coming up with complex stories that aren't about angst.  In other words, try to find a compelling a story as opposed to teasing and torturing fanbases. That doesn't build loyalty. It builds resentment and makes people not only blast you but turn off their sets.  It's one of the many things going wrong here.

I hear that Nimnuts will destroy the couple known as "Jasam" to rebuild them. I'm not a long term GH fan and I don't particularly care for either character or actor, but I think this is a massive mistake.  I've lurked around to see their fanbase.  This won't go well, to put it mildly.  Again, Buddy, this ain't OLTL fans. They won't sit for this shit. They'll bolt.  As I've said before, maybe you all don't care about GH fans. But shouldn't you try to keep as many people as you can right now?

Here's some proof from GH fans at DD.  This poster has figured it all out and says:

Don't love these writers...but, gotta admit they're very cunning.. They will achieve the following with this Jasam s/l IMO,..

1. Break down Jasam to the core and re-build them with a more balanced relationship
2. Put Kelly and Michael together in scenes for that fanbase
3. Put Steve and Becky together in scenes for that fanbase
4. Give Sam back some of what she buried when she became Jason's shadow
5. Build toward a Jasam reunion
6. Have Jasam welcome their child into their life with a re-newed understanding of what "for better or worse" means.

I don't think for one second that Sam is free of any blame in this breakup. However, IMO...the writers are clearly showing Jason as the one who left Sam alone in this rape situation and subsequent pregnancy by his inability to at least support Sam.

McBain and Liz will "appear" to be a threat to them in regards to "cheating" in the real sense of the word...but, honestly..I don't think the writers will go there. He'll dangle, he'll tease, he'll show misread looks, touches, etc. by both Jason and Sam for the other to witness.

So they're getting it.  But the important point is the response that follows and is much more prevalent as I've seen the ratings reflect:

You're probably right. But in the meantime, TV's are turning off. 


And:


Exactly. I hope more and more TV's will get turned off every week too.

Is this the impact you're looking for?  I don't think so. People are actively engaged...but not in the way you want.  They want you out of a job and are willing to sacrifice what they want to get it.  It's not about love of the show. It's about hating you for what you've done to it. 

This is not your old fanbase, Buddy.  We were about loving this damn show beyond the regime that runs it.  We were about loving the characters and actors who portray them and sitting through the crap as it's the endgame we look to. You've taught the majority of OLTL fans how this works. We ignore the torture or complain or threaten, but we don't tune out in general. We stick through the crap and call you names but we're like puppies, we'll follow.  GH fans are not, IMO. They're pitbulls who will bite you if you fuck with them and then run.  Haven't you figured that out yet?

Now look at how most TNB fans reacted to Todd's pathetic display I suppose some may call "flirting".  It was either seen as out of character and therefore ignored or a tactic for further use by TPTB. I have seen almost no one who is interested in the pairing taking it seriously. I saw much annoyance but not being threatened.  In fact, I saw many of them just happy that Howarth's abs were exposed. That's not good, Ronnie.  They don't give a crap about what you write and find your work irrelevant. They just liked the scenery.

Should that be a goal?  Should it just be that all that matters is the actor?  I have seen, and written, that the saving grace of many shows recently is the interpretation of the material, in other words, the actors. The writing is maligned, ignored, or seen as "passable". In fact, it seems some script writers are getting more praise than the head writers.  But not many.

The problem here is a lack of creativity. The intent seems to be tease people, make them unhappy, and then eventually get praise when they get what they want.  That's not quality story-telling. It's a cheap tactic that's more fitting for a dime novel, not a long term, serialized drama. We want complex tales about love and intrigue and not constant fuckery with fanbases. That's transparent crap that makes us discuss what you're doing as a writer more than what is happening on the show.

Look, half the fun of soap operas is the sense of community and the idea of figuring out what will happen next. This was a form made for women by women. We love to chat and ponder and speculate. It's much of the fun and the internet has brought that to a whole new level. We can reach out to so many all over and build a community built on this practice.  But we should be talking about events on the show, not the manipulations of TPTB. It should be conversations about "what so and so will do next", not "why are those asswipes screwing around with us".  There's nothing wrong with titillating an audience for a moment, but there should be more to the scene than someone's rockin' bod.  

The issue here is we're seeing behind the curtain that we'd prefer to remain closed. It's as if you're the Wizard, Ronnie, and we'd like to not know you're not invincible and all-powerful.  We'd like to not call you "Nimnuts", no matter how much it makes me giggle. We'd like to respect the work you've done so much we don't even talk about you but the material. But we can't.  The material is weak and we're too savvy to buy into it.


You have an engaged audience here but they're engaged in what they want, not what they're seeing.  Flaming fanbase fires is dangerous as it often backfires.  You all didn't have this issue as much on OLTL as it was fanbase-filled, but loyalty to the show itself would override that.  This situation is different.  You destroy what they want on GH, even on "GH", and they'll retaliate.  Your numbers are up marginally but that's probably reflecting that you're getting as many OLTL fans as you're losing in GH fans. Is that the goal here? Don't you want to expand the field?  That was my assumption but maybe not.

Word on the street is that Valentini may be considering getting Carlivati a co-headwriter. I think this is a great idea.  He can't cut it, it seems. All the stories on "GH" are rehashes of what he did on OLTL. It worked there to some extent as it was fresher- not fresh by any means- but because we, as fans, were different.  If the fans can go point by point in comparing stories, it's not good. I've seen many GH fans asking OLTL fans how their stories went so they can see how the ones on GH will go.  And it's turning out to be true.  That's bad.  We should be on the edge of our seats, not knowing, being engaged with the material.

But we should also be engaged with the material in terms of conversation.  And we're not. We're talking about you.  We're talking about the intent of the staff. And we're talking about Howarth's chest.   Congratulations. You objectified Todd but didn't whore him out.  Yet. But you also did the impossible for me.  You made him boring.  Call me demanding, but I thought Todd was more than well-developed abdominal muscles.  To me, his looks are the least appealing thing about him.  But, hey, what do I know?

The "OLTL" Spinoff Begins: "GH" is Born

You know when you think something is true and you really believe it.  But, deep down, you don’t really think it’s possible.  That’s a common occurrence for me. I really think things are happening but I can’t really trust my own knowledge, intuition, or logic because it seems unreal.  This time, it’s seems too fantastic.  I actually think all my ranting and raving and predictions may be true. Holy Crap!  I think I've been right all along with a few exceptions.

There was a fascinating “insider” drop on DD that only a few people paid attention to this past week. This “insider”, who obviously knows people and has access as he’s been pretty reliable in the past, claims that one of the reasons GH got the reprieve, such as it is, is because it is able to be a “hybrid” and it is because of that potential that it got the old OLTL timeslot. 

Holy Crap!!!!I wasn't surprised that the GH fans were grousing as usual, as they should, but only a few lone OLTL fans noticed this.  Several were surprised that no one was making a big deal out of it.  I agreed. This is incredible news. It says something I never thought I’d say- the network isn’t composed of complete morons!!

I can’t believe it but I think OLTL is actually keeping GH alive.  It would seem to be the opposite but, if this is true, that means that GH is not the host on which the parasite of OLTL is feeding. It’s the opposite.  GH is being kept alive BECAUSE of its potential to be part of OLTL.  It’s shocking but not surprising.

All the signs were there if we were looking. I know I was but I bought into all the propaganda about GH being the flagship show and the prized possession.  It seems now that Brian Frons is gone, cooler heads are prevailing.  The red headed stepchild is stepping up into its rightful place.  Finally someone is noticing the fact we all have known all along- OLTL was the superior of the three programs as it was the only one with potential for profitability into the future. It was the show who was always in the black.  It was the show that held its own against two other similar programs. And, lastly, OLTL was one of the last real soaps left.  The signs were all there, all this time.  We just had to look at them to see it was true.

ABC is out of the soap opera production world. I truly believe that.  Yet their line up for daytime is dismal.  Sure, the shows are cheaper to produce but if they can’t eek out a profit, they’re useless. See: "The Revolution".  The only reason ABC is even allowing “GH”, as we’ll call it for now, to exist is because they can’t be certain they have anything better in the pipeline.  This reprieve from the beginning was not because GH was good. It’s because everything else sucked ass.  

I could see Valentini arguing that they should keep one show that could be a guarantee of a stronger showing for the time being.  That makes sense. But GH isn’t it.  They didn’t even mention it at the Upfronts.  Affiliates are dropping it from their schedules. There’s no promotion budget.  They are, essentially, living hand to mouth.  The network knows what we’ve known all along- this show has the Stink of the Loser on it.  And it’s catching.  So, they’re doing as they should.  Putting it out of its misery and replacing it with the former show to some extent.  This September, Frank Valentini will produce a blockbuster soap for the world to see. But, if it survives beyond, it won’t be GH at all.  It will be OLTL with some new/old faces thus why I'll call it "GH"- it will have the name only.

The proof is everywhere.  There’s a new ad on Soapnet for the evening line up.  When they promo "GH"- who shows up?  Todd and Starr.  They may as well call the show "The Mannnings: with a few mob guys for the Moment".  More evidence:  Next month, it will be Manning Central.  With Blair back, no way will they not eat up most of the oxygen.  Todd is already the male lead, much to Bernard and Burton’s chagrin.  

The plan to reunite him with his wife will be what it always was- the “A” Story.  It will take place in Port Charles but it won’t matter.  Manning Mayhem Galore will ensue, I’m sure.  Jealousy games, Hissy fits, Manipulation, Lies, and fun for the whole family.  That is, if you’re a OLTL TNB fan.  If not, you may want to sit this one out. There will be chaos at the big "premiere", again as we had last summer, as they hijack the show.  Starr will sing.  John will flirt with his "not sister" Sam.  And Blair will make her entrance as Todd makes her head explode with jealousy and I'm positive they will be the focus.  Nothing's changed in twenty years.  Why would it now?

How do I know this?  I don’t but I hear that ABC, in general, sees this story and characters as winners.  So, what do you do with the loser that’s all you have left?  You dump it and replace it with a winner.  See the logic?  The decision to summarily dump Trevor St John was enough to prove the network's worth of Roger Howarth to me. It was swift, fast, and a little brutal. The idea that Howarth’s picture was the star of the show before he appeared proved it to me before that.  Then, after it all went down, they reran that Wedding episode not once, but twice in six months.  

Lastly, when they hired him onto GH, knowing it was sinking, that proved all I needed to know.  They wanted this guy and this character even without a show to put him on.  They'd build a show around him. And that's what they've done.  The GH fans are getting it.  This show tentatively called "GH" for the moment, is quickly changing focus and becoming something else.  The GH characters are now playing supporting players in OLTL drama led by OLTL characters.  And, honestly, I see more of that coming as the summer heats up.  Good Morning America Afternoon will premiere and "GH" better kick some ass or it's doomed.  Remember, there is no end date yet.  That could be good or bad.  It could be later...or sooner.

In the comments about GH at the affiliates meeting, the head of ABC mentioned that the “new blood” from OLTL was making the show breath new life. That was the last straw to me. The boys at the top knew that GH as it was at the time was over. They agreed with Valentini- and many of us- that the wrong show had been cancelled. Now, they were giving him his moment to "make it work".  They condoned morphing GH into a OLTL spinoff.  But, they weren't fully on board as they don't want to produce soap operas. They're too expensive.  Yet they'll take a more "wait and see" attitude this time as Frons' option to cancel first and ask questions later was not the right one.  It was too harsh and misguided.  In other words, they fucked up.

Holy Crap, Kids, I think they get it.  They’re building OLTL sets.  That means the characters will go back and forth…or will they just go?  I know I’ve said this so many times but I really thought I was often just being obnoxious or pithy.  But I think this is legit.  Goodnight, Nurse, the gangs coming back to put on a show.  And I don’t mean Mickey Rooney or Judy Garland. She’s dead- as in really dead, not Carlivati “dead”- and he’s got a serious case of dementia.  No, I don’t mean them. I mean our gang. And, no, not Spanky or Alfalfa. I mean the major players and a few others. They're getting the act together and taking it on the road to LA.  And what a show it might be.

I think I was watching an exit story for Sonny beginning on Thursday.  It’s been a long time coming and it’s a welcome sight. He's regretting his life and his choices.  That may be new or not but, really, I don't care.  I only know that I may see Viki soon and that makes me squee like a silly fangurl...which is what I am really.  I hear this new "umbrella" story is set to last six months, which would be December or January, and just in time to put GH to sleep forever, even though I think it will have it's finale long before that.  "GH" will close out the network run and after that, who knows.  But I'll tell you one thing.  I'll be there.  And what a long, strange trip it will be. 


Sorry, it's summer. Gotta quote the Dead.

Soap Opera's Worst Characters: Victor Newman- Bad and Not in a Good Way

I think I've said it before, but it can't be said enough. I love the male characters on soap operas and they literally make my day. They can be mean but funny- like Todd Manning. They can be manipulative and dashing- like Adam Chandler.  They can be brilliant and hot- like the spectacular Dr. David Hayward. But when they're bad, they're really bad. And not in a good way.

There have been so many terrible male characters but, in all my forty something years of fandom, I don't think I've disliked a character more than Victor Newman. I hate him.  Really. No offense to the actor who I'm sure is a lovely human being and doing his job quite well. But I detest this guy. He's smug, arrogant, narcissistic, obnoxious, inarticulate, selfish, and, well, mean.  I just don't like him. That's all. I don't get why he's the center of so many stories on Y&R, but, then again, maybe that's why they have ratings that are circling the drain, like their "lesser" counterparts.  It's time, Kids, to send him to soap opera heaven.  Please, kill Victor Newman.

Now I admit that I am a Jack Abbot fan.  No bones about it. I loves me some Peter Bergman. I love the character, I love the actor, I just, well, love him completely.  As you all know, I was reared on AMC...that sounds bad, but you know what I mean. I grew up with that show and Cliff Warner was a huge part of that.  Yet I was never really a Cliff Warner fan. He was patented nice guy on AMC and that just never worked for me.  But, I have to admit, in a silly fangurl way, that I just love Peter Bergman. One of my favorite lines to say, ever, is "I'm not a whatever, but I play one on TV". It makes me giggle to this day and that goes to Bergman from his commercial in the '70's- or was it '80's?- no matter.

I have to admit, though, I got all schmoopy over Bergman hearing him wax poetic about AMC, though. I'm sure he loves Y&R but, man, I've never seen someone so raw about a job. Every time I heard him talk about it, he cried. It was so damn sweet I couldn't take it. I cried, too, because he was so fucking fabulous!! He loved AMC more than me and the people and the characters and damn it, he just kills me!!

So, as I've digressed beyond my topic for a change, maybe it's my affinity for Jack Abbott that makes me hate Victor. But I doubt it.  I find nothing redeeming about Victor. He's cold, one dimensional, mean-spirited, and generally unlikable. I don't get it, really, I don't.  When people talk about how great he is on the show, I scratch my head because I've never seen him be anything but selfish and cruel and self-absorbed.  I must say "the mind reels".

I can really go for cold, selfish, self-absorbed characters.  Hell, just look at my top three. But they had heart. They showed remorse and longing and love. They're misguided, for sure, but they tried to make it work for others. It wasn't always about them...just most of the time.   And they were sorry for things they've done. Todd, lunatic that he is, wears his heart on his sleeve. David oozes passion. And Adam, well, Adam is what I think many think Victor is. He's shrewd and family-oriented and calculating.  But he's a sweetie underneath. He had a childlike demeanor often and he showed remorse. He could also be vulnerable.

Maybe that's it.  This douchebag is never vulnerable. He's stoic. That's not hot. That's not cool. That's just dull. And that's death on a soap.

I've seen him supposedly go to jail for his old slag of an ex-wife, Nicki, the aging stripper.  I don't like her either, can you tell?  That was supposed to be selfless. But I didn't feel it. He was doing it, like he's doing Sharon- EEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW- but I'm not sure why. I just get nothing from him. I feel nothing.  He's a good yeller but he mumbles so much, I find him unintelligible much of the time.

I hear Eric Braeden's "Q rating", meaning his recognizability factor to the general public, is second only to Lucci, another untalented, overrated character who I don't miss for one second.  So maybe that's why he's in so many stories. I don't know but being well known doesn't make for good soap operas, in my mind.  People can recognize him and still think he sucks.  "I know him enough to hate him" isn't a cliche.  It's fitting here.

I guess I could go on and on about this, but it's unnecessary.  I'm not a Newman family fan at all. I find Adam completely despicable- and, again, I love Todd Manning, so that says something.  "I know Todd Manning, and you, Sir, are no Todd Manning".  I know, that was about Kennedy but I read it somewhere and loved it, so if any of you were the ones who wrote it, I'm giving you credit! Adam's a pimp and a slug.  I don't get him either.

Nick?  Cute, that Josh Morrow is very cute.  Great smile.  Hot sex scenes with Sharon.  But his character is nauseating and a despicable man-child.  I did like him briefly but his behavior since Cassie's death is disgusting. He and Phyllis are in my top ten "worst couples ever" list.  He makes her so saccharine and mediocre, it's criminal.  At least he and Sharon were smokin' hot.  Really, like HOT. I'm not into soft core porn on my soap operas but, let me tell you, they had the romance and the sex thing going very well.  Other than that, he should smile and shut the hell up. He sucks as a character.

Nicki?  Forgetaboutit.  She's irritating, self-righteous, obnoxious, sleazy, and, well, I can't abide her.  She's perfect for Victor. Two vapid characters who should go to the rest home together and get the hell off my screen. And get Phyllis back to Jack, goddamn it!! At least get him away from Nicki.

Victoria?  I don't get her either.  The "Villy" thing escapes me, too. I love Billy Abbott. Loved him on AMC as evil Annie's more evil brother. But, I don't see anything appealing about her at all. Again, she's like her mother but not as slutty looking.  I guess she didn't have to strip, so she got herself more class, huh, Missy?  Didn't like the actress on AMC either.  SMH, for a change.  I don't get these Newmans at all.

But, maybe that's because I'm a Y&R novice. It's been less than a decade of watching for me and, in soap years, that's a minute.  I got there when John Abbott was dead already but I loved the ghost.  Now him, I could see loving, but, maybe that's why Y&R doesn't really do it for me. It's as one-dimensional as Victor and as cheap as Nicki.  Don't even start with me about Katherine....that's enough to give me a coronary.  I'll say this- Viki without the taste, class, or feeling. 'Nuff said.

Valentini's Folly Saga Continues: So, How Can He Sell It?

I have to admit that I am now more fascinated by the BTS shenanigans of ABC Daytime than the content of the show itself.  Well, that's not saying much.  Yet the backstage stuff is so damn interesting, I can't stand it.  They're making a rather dull, disappointing summer pretty amusing.  Hats off to Valentini for keeping me intrigued no matter what. Now, make it work, as Tim Gunn says.  But how?  Lucky for you, you have millions of fans all yelling at once and one professor giving you suggestions.  So, here's what I think you need to do:  make people happy.

It seems easy, doesn’t it?  Just give people what they want and they’ll show up.  Now, it may not be the story that Ronnie wants to write or the most interesting to him artistically, but guess what?  Tough shit.  Yeah,  I said it!  Tough shit. You work in a commercial medium and you need to make the customer happy.  Without satisfied customers, you’re on the street. So, in all actuality, you work as any other purveyor of a product or service. You need to not only offer a quality product but be sure that you have a market.  If we, as consumers, don’t like your product, we don’t buy.  It’s a fact, Jack, you work for us- whether Ronnie Boy likes it or not.

Now, you can sell your show if you have an audience and that means you need to motivate us to watch.  Here’s more wisdom from my father the siding salesman in Chicago.  I hope you’ve listened in the past, as you need some advice in dealing with the “real” world- meaning not network execs, managers, and actors.  We’re talking about actual people here. So, pay attention.

If you want to get repeat business, you better give the customer what they want and make it pretty painless.  

Okay, I think you may know that any home improvement project is a nightmare.  Yet the outcome has to be worth the pain that inevitably ensues.  Remember that, Frankie, the outcome must be worth the nightmare.  At the end of the day, it had to be worth it.  It’s simple, Dude, make it worth the grief.  My house may look fabulous and I may not need to paint it ever- but if the experience is such a nightmare from hell, I’ll hate it every time I drive up.  Ease the pain, Buddy, mitigate the damage.  Fall on your sword, if you have to.  Do whatever you need to do to make the consumer happy at the end. Or they won’t be your customers ever again. 

This is where you’ve fucked up.  You need to make us feel better. I’m hoping you get that.  What you’re really selling is us- not the show.  Any venue wants to sell advertising.  The advertiser doesn’t buy content or time, really, but access to the audience.  So, really, we’re the product.  You need to woo us and finesse us. But, really, you need to figure out who you want.  What audience are you looking for? Is it the OLTL audience? Is it the GH audience? Is the cross-over viewers?  Here’s the question you need to answer, Dude, what do you want?

Now, that’s a lot harder, isn’t it?  You want all of us, I’d assume, but that may not be possible. The way I’m seeing it, you aren’t that interested in the GH faithful. It makes sense as you don’t know them and haven’t earned their loyalty.  Also, looking at the way the numbers shake out, they don’t seem to be very “sellable”.  By that I mean that the numbers are a bit soft.  The higher ratings they had for years may have been artificially inflated. In many markets, GH never had any soap competition. 

In major markets, OLTL had one, if not two, soaps against them directly.  Often, OLTL had to compete with both DOOL and ATWT. The fact that they survived as well as they did is rather impressive.  GH, on the other hand, rarely had any soap competition. They may have had GL in some markets but that was rare. In many major markets, GL was moved to the morning.  The real evidence that GH’s ratings were inflated over the years was the huge drop in numbers in this last year.  Some may blame the writing, but it’s more than that.  I would argue that it was the focus of the show that no longer worked but without the lead in from AMC and OLTL, the show tanked.  Badly.

 

Now, Frankie, you know about “flow”.  That means that networks program shows that blend into one another to keep the audience watching.  The shows literally “flow” into one another.  The audience need not turn away.  Well, cancelling AMC hurt that flow. However, OLTL survived the blow.  OLTL’s audience wasn’t watching “The Chew”. In fact, I’d argue they avoided it.  Yet OLTL was strong enough on its own to bring them to the show.  That audience often stayed for GH.  BUT without the lead in of OLTL, GH faltered, and continues to do so. 

So, it would make sense that you’d sacrifice GH fans for the OLTL faithful.  Also, we’ve proven that we’re still here- we’re just not there yet.  You need to give us what we want.  Now, this is where you need a little lesson, Honey.  You have yet to do so.  And it’s do or die.  Learn something from someone who has researched your fanbase for years, as well as being one.  Here’s the wisdom from the college professor who watched soaps in the high chair:

You can’t fuck with the Favorites.

That’s it.  You can’t. You can play some games but you can’t fuck it up completely.  You don’t have to make it easy. You can bullshit around. You can make it painful.  But there must be a payoff!!  If the fans don’t believe there will be a payoff, they’ll bolt.  You see, fans are like consumers for siding salesmen. If you make the experience of getting what we want painful, it can still be worth it.  But, if you make the experience too painful, the payoff is tainted. Or, maybe, by the end, it wasn’t worth it. Worst case scenario, you don’t give the people the payoff at all.  Now that’s a lose-lose. It’s just, well, stupid.

So, here’s my suggestion, and one I think you may be doing already.  Keep the audiences separate and make them both happy.  You’ve got the GH show to finish. That’s obvious.  Give those fans what they want at the end. Let them have their last moments and you know how to do it.  Let the couples be happy and blah blah blah.  That show is so not interesting to me, I don’t even care to speculate. Because, well, it’s not interesting.  Just close it out on its own.  Goodbye and good luck, GH, and thank you for your years of service.

Now, make the OLTL faithful happy, as well.  Tease us enough to keep it interesting, but don’t shit all over us. Show us what we’ll get- our old faces and favorites for a moment or two.  I personally love Todd’s constant references to the old gang- especially Nora and Viki- but show us them, as well. They don’t need huge stories but assure us that they are still around and will be back if you get the chance. 

Don’t move our characters on to GH stories or people.  They aren’t amenable to the show’s tone and neither are we.  The “hybrid” idea could work for AMC and OLTL to some extent, but not GH.  Now, that’s not saying some characters couldn’t move over but blending the shows won’t work. They’re too different in tone and intent.  Old school GH maybe, but not the mess that exists.  Luke, Tracy, they may work, but the rest won’t.  OLTL is much lighter and the darkness that has enveloped GH is too strong.  It won’t happen.  Let it go.

Lastly, damn it, Frank, give us what we want for one goddamn minute!!!! Let us have some fun and happiness for once.  Make us happy and we’ll follow you like puppy dogs wherever you go.  I promise.  My God, does it all have to be fucking cliffhangers and grief all the time.  Make us happy for once.  Just because people aren’t ripping one another’s hearts out doesn’t mean they don’t have any future story.  FIND A STORY THAT ISN’T ABOUT EMOTIONAL PAIN!! Stop with the dead kids.  Stop with the horrible break ups.  Stop with the diseases. Find new avenues to drama.  They’re there. Just stop making it so horrible all the time.  There’s angst and there’s interminable grief.  

Give us a break, Dude, and reign in Ronnie Boy. He doesn’t seem to know that people can be both interesting and happily married.  Destroying one another stops being interesting after the third time.  John and Natalie, my God, Dude, give them a rest.  How many times has Todd fucked up with Blair?  Can’t he fuck up when he’s with Blair for once? Can’t he screw over someone else for a change and still be getting some regular from the wife?  It’s getting to be ridiculous.  

I thought Bo and Nora were interesting when they were happy.  It was nice but still entertaining. It’s possible. Just do it. Give the characters a break.  Give us a break.  And, really, give yourselves a break.  We can all co-exist and have a massive Kumbaya moment into the future.  The angry letters will stop.  The ranting will stop.  We can help you get richer and be happy to do so.  Leave the angst aside for once. It was old a decade ago!!!

Let’s move into a new day and a new story.  Really. It can be done.  Trust me and I’ll trust you.  But if you don’t,  proceed with caution. I've still got a lot of nasty names in my toolbox. Some I haven't even used yet.......

The Coming of the Soap Opera Apocalypse: People Having No Love for One Another

Okay, so this is post number three in the seemingly never ending series "The Coming of the Soap Opera Apocalypse".  So far, we've had Lawlessness and Wars on a Global Level.  Now, we continue with one issue that is very fitting: People Having No Love for One Another.  As I look at the current state of the daytime scripted melodrama, I see little love at all. I see sex but little love.  What's missing?  We already discussed romance but really, it's love.

The cornerstone of these shows was always about love.  What about family love?  What happened to parents who loved their children and accepted them, no matter what? What happened to the Joe Martins who loved their sons, no matter how "caddish" Tad was on a daily basis back in the day?  Sure, maybe it was corny but it was needed. What happened to Rick Webber is typical of this sign of the end.  They take a good stepfather who loved his stepdaughter, Laura, and villianize him and make him into the devil incarnate.  That's appalling. I watched that story and rewriting it as they did was beyond the pale.  Instilling any good will with old school fans will be a tall order for this regime after the damage inflicted by the last.  For this reason alone I don't shed a tear for the bastardization of GH. It was slaughtered years ago.

You see, you need to have stories about people with motivation.  What's more motivating than love?  Even if it's not romantic love, there's still so little emotion.  We have parents that love their children but only as they can use them as pawns for hurting others. Don't start me on Victor Newman who 'loves' his family so much he sleeps with his daughter-in-law.  Yeah, that's love. And he goes after the man his daughter loves because he's not fond of him. What an asswipe!!!Sorry, but I hate Victor. He sucks.

I have yet to see anything close to actual love with anyone who isn't over 30.  Now, it's "get the kids together fast and get them in bed immediately".  How nice.  But, although I feel as if I'm an old lady whining about "how it was in my day", I have yet to see any supercouple in the making.  Maybe that's because all of these shows are on their way out, so holding power isn't necessary.  Yet it would be nice to see someone who isn't just there to "get some" or looking for the random piece to make them feel better.


The supercouples of the past hardly exist any more.  There are a few left.  Bo and Hope...for now.  I think there may be someone on B&B but I can't get through an episode to know.  Really, it's not good!  But, well, other than that, they're all down for the count.  We may get Todd and Blair for five minutes unless Valentini's folly survives. But even then, he'll probably bust them up just for sport, if he gets them back together at all, that is.  There's no Luke and Laura. There's no Jenn and Jack.  There's no Victor and Nicki, if they were one, or Nick and Sharon, if they were one. There's no one with staying power and who make the other character better.  It's all about plot points now.  Break them up to make a story and introduce a new character.  That's, well, not fun.


Back in the day, we had Patch and Kayla, Cliff and Nina, Jack and Carly, Mary and Jack, and so on and so on.  They were couples about love and passion and dedication and fun.  Now, it's all about sex.  And don't get me wrong, I don't mind a good sex scene but I like to see that there's actual emotion there above the waist.  I also wouldn't mind seeing some people who actually like one another, even when they're fully clothed.

Take Bo and Nora.  They loved each other like crazy. I could see it.  They were sweet and touching and I'd take one moment of them looking into each other's eyes over a shower scene with two newbies groping one another.  I'd rather watch them chatting about a case and looking wistfully as they mention their past than one second of a twenty year old ripping off his shirt to show his washboard abs.  Yeah, I said it!!  You can take all the Ford Brothers and swap them for an "older" man like Bo Buchanan smiling at "Red" and I'll be happy.  It was about the love, not the pectoral muscles. I watch soap operas, not soft core porn.

I want to stab somebody when I see the discussion of how "hot" "so and so" is. That's great. They're hot. Now, can they convey an emotion?  Maybe that's the issue. None of these kids can act.  They can't convey love, so we get sex instead.  Is it that they can express passion in terms of a gutteral sound and not show a true, genuine feeling in their eyes?  Is that why we can't get a love scene to save our lives unless it's with the over forty crowd?  I saw a sweet one with Bo and Hope and the final Todd and Blair scenes were terrific, sex or no sex, they were romantic and hot as hell.

And new mothers appear to be more interested in if they're being shot from a good light as opposed to loving a baby.  They cry a lot if the kid dies but I saw Sam lose that kid on GH last week. I didn't care because I could see her trying to act.  She sucks.  The playmate needs to go to New York and study for a few years and take that dolt of an acting partner with her. He's over thirty, and I think she must be, as well, but both she and Steve Burton need to take some classes.  Here's a concept, Buddy, staring into space isn't conveying grief. It's staring into space.  And, please, someone change the wardrobe on that guy. The black t-shirt is ridiculous for someone who looks like he should be at his kid's soccer game, not on a TV show.  Deflate him or put him on a diet or, better yet, fire him.  He sucks, too.

Is it that the new kids on soaps can't act?  I don't know but the last good family scenes I saw were on OLTL.  The Manning Family Christmas was sweet, little Sam being a highlight, and even acting-challenged but improving Jack had some kickass scenes with Daddy Todd. I loved how Todd loved that nasty but pretty kid and relished even the scorn he got from him.  It was classic Manning moments.

But was it because Todd and Blair rock as parents as the actors can express love like nobody's business?  I see Alderson without them and, let me tell you, it ain't pretty.  The best family moments were with the Lord "children" of Tina, Todd, and Viki, and it was not only fun but sweet and caring at the end.  Hell, even Todd and Victor were amusing in a brotherly "I hate you" way.  But, again, all people way over 30 and not hired for their chiseled bodies or fabulous racks.  These "kids" can act.

So, maybe it was the first sign of the end and no one noticed.  There was no one loving one another. Or maybe they were trying but were so bad it, no one cared or noticed. I see love but only with a select few.  And they're all "mature".  But, so am I.  And that's fine with me.

The problem is that the douchebags in charge seem to have their interest elsewhere. I don't see Starr having "chemistry" with anyone but her parents. It's not working.  I don't care about anyone on DOOL who's under thirty but Will and, God Forbid, the gay kid get a real love story.  I did see some nice stuff years ago on ATWT with Will and Michael Landon's daughter, whose character's name escapes me, but the gay couples had more genuine emotion than any straight couple on that show.  And look what they did to them? I think one of them got hit by a train.  Nice.  Nice job. And seeing how gay characters are treated elsewhere, I see little hope for Will.

It's a shame as it seems there's potential but it's not happening. If the future of everything is the children, then the end of this genre began in the late 1990s.  That's the last time I saw a younger set with real stories and who could actually act.  Loving people died long ago with only a few Vets holding the torch as they reach the finish line. Hopefully Todd and Blair and Bo and Hope are in the home stretch with Viki and Clint there to cheer them on. If they are, I'll be, as well, but right now, it don't look good.

Valentini's Hail Mary Pass or "The Conclusion of Kassie-gate"

I meant to post this earlier in the week but got sidetracked by the evolution of what I now see as “The Todd Manning Hour”.  However, I think it’s good that I waited as it lends new insight into what I think may be occurring. I’ll call it the re-emergence of Blair Cramer…or is it Manning? And what I see as a possible end to “Kassiegate”, a term I see bandied about and love as I think anything that makes people remember what a shit Nixon was is a good thing.

Okay so let’s get on to the issue this week.  The mystery is solved. The question no longer need be asked on a semi-daily basis.  No more must we chant “Where’s Blair?” in TPTB’s face as we know they’ve heard us and are answering.  Where’s Blair, you ask, well, she’s on her way to Port Charles and to many of us, she can’t get there fast enough!

As you all know, this little ranting fest of mine began when OLTL was cancelled for the suckfest formerly known as The Revolution. That had disaster written all over it.  And, lookie there, not only did it fail, but it failed miserably. What a shock…only not.  Next we had the brilliant move of bringing on the Manning clan to GH.  That seemed like a good idea.  But, that, too, was marred by the ridiculous decision to leave the female center at home in the now allegedly dead Llanview.  That was not smart. Chaos erupted, campaigns began, and, really, animosity then grew at all levels.  GH fans were mad that anyone was invading.  OLTL fans were mad that their happy endings were trashed. It was, well, a bad move all around.  

My former hero, one Frank Valentini, was called every name under the sun from Fucktard to Shithead, and his little buddy was derided, as well.  It wasn’t fun to be Laura Wright, I’d say, as her character was being ‘touted’ by some members of the ‘press’ as Todd’s new love interest.  That ain’t good.  Being a cockblock for a supercouple made Ted King’s character a lightening rod and he is still being mocked today.  No offense to the actor but the character is, well, not popular.  How’s that for a more mature attitude?  I can be a grown up, when I feel like it!

So, what happened? In the midst of the anger and the screaming and the boycotts and the all-around hysteria, a little Tweet appeared from Mr. Valentini.  “Blair will be back for a visit this summer”. That’s all. Simple. No fanfare. No hoopla. Just a little comment.  Confirmation from the actress followed and that was that. HMMM.  That’s what I said.  HHMMM. Now, as you all know, I knew she’d be back and her timing is right as I predicted.  But I’ll be honest, even I thought I might be full of shit.

If you all listen to DePaiva, she does telegraph information.  KDP made it clear that she was on for a short stint back then. Then she backed off. She thanked everyone for the time and moved on.  There was disappointment but the real trouble started when someone knew she was not being asked back and Howarth was on contract.  That’s what started this whole issue.

There were charges of ageism and sexism by some. Who was that mean blogger with the name of the movie character? I don’t recall.  I didn’t say it was definitely happening, just raised the possibility.  And, you know, there is a correlation. Howarth is a middle aged man.  KDP is a middle aged woman.  KA is a kid.  There is the argument to be made. And, yes, deal with it, Dude, you’re like a minute younger than me and we’re both middle aged.

Here’s what I think happened. I think when OLTL was brutally murdered in its prime, Valentini went into mourning. He emerged when the PP deal was presented and then, he, too, was horrified when it ended before it began.  He took the GH deal as he needed a job but also because it presented an opportunity. It would give him a platform. It gave him a temporary budget and a stage to plan his comeback. 

I’ve said this all along.  He had the moment he needed to keep his principals onboard and plan for a future.  He locked down who he thought was necessary- Easton, Alderson,  Howarth and DePaiva- and tried to keep the troops on reserve. However, working last minute as he was and without a strong PR team, he dropped the ball. He didn’t approach this as he needed and his not so pure motives were noticed. He had to mitigate the damage a bit as he broke a cardinal rule- never let them know you’re screwing them.  And, in reference to the GH cast, creative team, and fans, he was screwing them.

So, what did he do as the GH fans justifiably went through the roof?  He downplayed it.  The Easton and Alderson thing was out. Nothing could be done there.  The issue now was what to do with the other two.  He had to sign Howarth as he’s a slippery bastard but, as Carlivati called him, “The Big Fish”.  He’s their lead, so they had to pay him to keep him around.  So, they did.  But, what does that leave available to mitigate the damage?  You got it.  Teamplayer DePaiva gets sacrificed.  Cheerleader DePaiva gets kicked to the curb.  BIG FAN FAVORITE DePaiva gets iced.  Bad move, Baby, bad move.

I mean I see the logic. She’s the homegirl. She’ll wait until they need her.  She’s probably saved and invested and has other sources of income.  Right?  She’ll be available after the crap dies down.  She’s their rock.  HHHMMMMMMMMMMMM.  That didn’t happen. Or did it?

Her fans went through the roof.  Interestingly enough, I think she made NEW fans from this as she was now the “injured party”.  Everyone else was the bad guy- Valentini, Carlivati, Howarth, Alderson, all of them. I think I saw someone even blame my friend Barack for it! Let’s say, the deal went South- fast.  There was a terrible smear in a “mag” and it was then followed by a  HUGE retraction and denials and it was, to say the least, a disaster. It really earned the name.  “Kassiegate” was bringing down Valentini’s plan, as Watergate brought down Nixon.  I’m not comparing the two, but the analogy makes me giggle, so I’m saying it.  

So, what happens?  Valentini has to be working on two ends.  He needs to keep up the rouse for the GH faithful. Meanwhile, he’s firing the writing staff, the music people, the directors, and filling in with his staff from OLTL.  He’s talking about “integrating” the new characters into the cast on hand. Meanwhile, he's only using the cast he inherits if they can be worked into the stories with his people from OLTL.  Slowly, OLTL's characters get more time, story, and attention than the GH characters do- unless he's planning their exit stories. He’s trying to make it appear as if they can be one, big, happy family.  He just needs to be sure that he has his options open.  He needs to be working both sides of the fence. 

Yet his “hybrid” notion is failing.  OLTL fans are furious.  Alderson’s a bust.  Easton’s okay but his fanbase on his own is not as big as it seemed.  The numbers are going down, or up only incrementally, and he needs something. He brings on Lozano as Tea to see if that short term fix might work. It doesn’t and the GH fans hate her as much as Alderson. It incenses the TNB fans even more and who knows what trouble they bring.  KDP’s fans get more angry and it’s an all-around disaster.  And then the worst happens- the Todd fans he depended on turn out to be Todd and Blair fans. They even turn on their Big Fish and start bringing up his rather “sordid” past.  Todd and his sexual history isn’t something a show in distress needs being bandied about. Okay, that was me. But "Todd Manning: Sex Machine" was a HUGE hit!!

Then, a miracle occurs. As he awaits a cancellation notice, The Revolution’s numbers can’t sustain it’s cheapass bottom line.  It’s over and ABC gives a temporary reprieve to the execution order GH waited for. Is this another chance? Is this what our hero hoped and prayed for?  Can, he, Frank Valentini, alone, save the soap opera genre? What can he do?

Of course.  It’s time for Hail Mary Pass. What does he do?  He throws caution to the wind, the GH cast, crew, and fans under the bus, and goes for it.  He takes this moment to bring back his show.  Screw ‘em if they don’t like it. If he’s going down, he’s going down big.  And fuck that noise- he’s bringing them back- all of them.  And the sets and that’s that.  He just isn’t telling anyone, yet. 

So, things begin leaking slowly, little bloggers start mentioning them, rumors are a-flyin’, pink slips lists are making their way around the net, but it’s generally quiet for a while. And then we have a Tweet. A little Tweet.  And all Hell breaks loose. 

It’s beginning. A visit. A little visit. That’s all. Nothing much.  Yeah, okay. I’ll play along. Nothing much.  But take that with what I see on screen and what I hear under the words of the actress, I think I know. There's no "few episodes" from KDP's mouth. There's no "could be more".  None of that.  There's the opposite.  "Long summer" and various other buzz words coming out of her mouth.  And, I have to say, in all of this mess, I trust her the most.  She's a no bullshit broad. If she says it, it's true.


And it matches up with what I see on screen. It's the DBL all over again with Toddy Boy having to face his hideous nature from a new, post-prison perspective. He's having to look at what he did after he lost them all not once, but twice. He'll have to look at the pain on the face of a stranger and know he did that to the woman he loved. The stage is being set for Wifey to appear, with Jack not far behind, I'd bet, and Todd will have to face the music again.  And this time, "it's serious".

But, wait a minute.  I thought I was watching GH?  That doesn't sound as if it's a story in Port Charles.  What happened?  I don't know and guess what, I don't care!  We'll play pretend as I said months ago.  Let’s all play.  I won't say that you're hijacking the show and you don’t say you're doing it.  We can all be happy!  Well, except the GH people.  Sucks for them.

But, as I’ve said all along, build it and they will come. We're all here, Frank, with those nice 2.1s, 2.2s, and maybe, just maybe, you can save "soaps", as DePaiva said.  Funny. I didn't hear her mention GH.  As I said, she's the truth-teller.  And I'm with her.  Let's save "soaps" but if GH has to go to do it, works for me!

You can't save everyone.  Someone's got to be left behind when the lifeboats are full.  I don't think there's room for Sonny or Jason.  They'll be fine.  Mobsters always land on their feet. Hopefully, it's somewhere off my screen.

Valentini's Folly Takes Shape: GH Fans Meet the Real Todd Manning!

Okay, so I watched GH live on Monday.  At about the half way point, I heard a distinct “thud” and felt as if I was thrown off balance as I rocked forward a little.  Know why? It was at that moment that Todd allowed Tea to think Sam’s baby was hers. And, it was at that moment when I realized what the noise was, as well as the sensation.  It was the sound of the OLTL bus, which I am firmly on, running over the GH fans, all at once.  And there must not be too many as I wasn't even thrown off the couch.  There’s no looking back now, Kids, it’s over.  They just gave Todd the story many of them have been waiting for for years.  It’s official.  GH is dead and OLTL is reborn.  Long may she reign.

You have to give these guys credit.  It would seem I rarely do but those of you who kept up with my rants on TWOP know that I was an FV cheerleader for quite some time.  He has the balls to do what must be done and he was blindly devoted to OLTL.  So, he had me from the jump.  Carlivati- not so much.  Anyone who penned the rapemance is on my shitlist- knowing that was Victor or not is irrelevant. It was nauseating.  And going ahead with revisiting the old Frat House Rape Trio from Hell story instead of waiting for Howarth to come back and be in it is a travesty.  Bad boy, Nimnuts, bad!!

Yet you do have to admire their balls at this point. They know what they’re doing. As I understand it, this is the culmination of years of watching and hoping for many of these fans and look what Valentini did with it.  He made it about Todd.  My God. Even as an out of the closet Todd fan, I think that may be a bit low.  But, hey, it’s crunch time so, do what you gotta do.

I’ve said adamantly that this “endeavor”, as we’ll call it, was never about saving GH.  That should be getting more clear by the day. This is about finishing OLTL- or resurrecting it- as just as the age old question “Where’s Blair?” is officially answered (and thank you for that, BTW, official word makes life so much easier) we have her and Todd’s pivotal moment revisited.  So, is this a chance to revisit the “DBL” as it’s known?

To the uninitiated viewer, that means the “Dead Baby Lie” where Todd, angry and psychotically jealous that he thought Blair was having Max’s baby, delivered it and then told her it was dead.  His need to have her to himself was paramount and sharing her with “Max’s baby” was not an option.  So, in Todd fashion, he “moved him out of the way”.  Of course, that baby was Jack and he was Todd’s and that started another whole thing that, to this day, is still an issue. Especially with Jack.

Is it a coincidence that Blair’s impending arrival is announced as this story plays out to some extent again?  Or will it finally be the thing that brings some closure to the issue? If that moment was meant to keep them apart forever, they wouldn’t have come back together twice since.  Is this the time to make it up?  We’ll see but the timing is suspect to me, as is most else with Mr. Valentini’s folly.  But, again, it’s never dull and he’s as dedicated to getting us our show back as anyone, so you have to give him credit for that.

What I liked best about this baby thing is that it was really Todd on my screen. Not fun guy who doesn’t play by the rules. Not cute guy with the kickass body who Carly might hit on.  Not the guy who brings flowers and loves his kid.  No. This was Todd. Todd whose life is always out of control. Todd who makes mistakes and acts on impulse.  Todd who is unreliable and "does stupid things every day", as he told Blair in the finale. 

It was Todd. The Todd I know and have known for twenty years.  It was the Todd GH fans need to meet. He’s not just funny or fun or someone who looks nice in a suit. He’s a selfish man who puts his needs above others. He’s a man who plays by his own rules and if others get hurt, he feels guilty but it won’t stop him.  As he told Blair as she was asleep during the DBL, he does what he has to do to get the job done. And that’s what he did.  As he walked out with Tea, we saw Todd. Looking satisfied that he could play hero, that Tea no longer looked at him with derision and that he could maybe now get what he wants- forgiveness from all of them. And his family back. Coincidence that this is just when we get the Blair announcement?  HHMMM...I don't think so.

Todd wants his family back. That's it. Using demented Todd logic, I see how this could work.  He will regret taking Sam's baby and he may try to make it better. But he did, nonetheless. Heather manipulated him.  That's true. But he did it because he's TODD!! That's him.  I have no doubt he'll go on a quest for Tea's real baby and it will bring him to not so dead Victor.  But that's not the point here.

Let's get into his nasty little mind for a second, shall we? If he let Tea's baby die, everyone would hate him more.  BUT if he saves the baby, he's the hero and everyone will forgive him to some extent. Then maybe, just maybe, Viki and Jack and Blair will relent and start to let him in again.  As Tea said, he will "worm his way back into his family's hearts".  And Todd agreed that "everyone is good at something".  He knows Blair and Viki love him and want to forgive him. He has to give them a reason.  Viki hates when Todd gives into his "dark side".  She won't sit for it, not "at'all". This shows his good side and trying to make up for offing Slow Bro. Here's one of my favorite scenes when Viki lectures Todd on not giving in to his demons and won't take his crap "at'all". It starts at about 1:13.  Sorry about the icky Tomas/Blair scene....I mean Sam, yeah, Sam.

This is Todd as we've always known him, only a little more hesitant. He's grown but not completely. He still will give in to his selfish tendencies, just not as easily.  We saw him try to do the right thing but he didn't go through with it. He could have taken his hits with Tea and not taken Sam's kid....but he didn't.  He gave in to his worse tendencies and made the bad decision, as Todd's all about the bad decisions because, well, he's Todd.


So, thank you, Valentini, for keeping Todd "Todd".  It was ugly, but so is most of Todd's history. He's not one of GH's hoodlums with the heart of gold. He's a real anti-hero.  He's not easy to love but, like Blair and Viki and Starr and Jess, we do anyway.  In spite of who he is. Yet GH fans won't.  And that's the point.  Again, I'll repeat.  Valentini does not care about GH, it's fans, it's stories, or it's survival.  It's about his show, his characters, his long term stories, and it's becoming more and more obvious every day. 

You don't hijack a major story that has been in the making for years and make it about something else if you want to focus on the task at hand.  You focus on the GH slant and Sam and Jason. They were the characters who were supposed to be the focus but they weren't even really present in this whole thing. Sam passes out and Jason is chatting with McBain, another OLTL face, who's making him look like the shithead that he is. They weren't important here.  It was about Todd's angst, Todd's history, and Todd's future. It's a hard pill for the GH fans to swallow, but FV is forcing it down their throats. Their show is over.  Deal with it. It was a loser and he's not going to try and save it. It's his show now.  Get on board or get off.  Let's see what they'll do.

GH is over and has been since the new regime took hold of it. They came in planning the finale and they still are.  But a show will continue. It just won't be GH.  Oh well. Sucks for them.  But, like Todd, we're selfish.  Good for us! But, we do feel a little bad..................