So, we're in the final chapter of this series about a genre being in the final chapter of its life. Last up to show you that the apocalypse is coming is "famine". It's a sure sign that the end is near. No organism can live without nourishment.
Now, let's be honest. People on soap operas aren't literally starving. However, I think a few of them need to eat a sandwich desperately. Hope Brady, please, chow down on a pizza. Sam McCall, you need a sundae or something as the heroin chic with the inverted cheeks looks isn't working for you. But the famine I mean is being starved for money. It's been widely accepted that soap operas were dying because they were being denied sustenance, so it counts. In this case, it's about the bucks. No money, no actors, no sets, no writers, no show.
Isn't this what's happened? I remind you of the one show that was allegedly always in the black- OLTL. The reliance on day players and newbies kept the bottom line working. The Fords? Please, if those guys made more than minimum wage, I'd say they were overpaid. They weren't exactly making Lucci bucks but they weren't starving either. However, even Lucci wasn't making Lucci money and that says something.
Now I'm no Lucci fan, believe me, but when it comes to the "face" of a program, she's it. She was the iconic character of AMC, whether I like it or not. She should have gotten top money as she was top dog. Like Slezak, she was what made the show what it was and she deserved compensation. I wasn't always happy with the result, but the woman was a hard worker, dedicated, and loyal to that show for a good long time. I don't think anyone would deny her value and she should have been justly compensated.
However, as times changed, so did salaries. I hear everyone at ABC took cuts, well, everyone at OLTL and AMC, that is. But they stayed. Almost no one walked and they ate the losses and soldiered on, as they should. These shows gave them homes and lives and careers and families for some. They did as they were asked and took one for the team.
But there's one and there's ten. There's a difference there. As my father, the siding salesman in Chicago, taught me on many a boring weekend in my childhood "looking at his jobs" on the West and South Side of Chicago, you have to spend money to make money. You can't make anything work on the cheap, unless you expect to make little. You then have to work in volume. You do a lot of little, crap jobs and work ten times as much. Or you do one big one, invest more resources, and make a killing. Who wouldn't rather do one job a year as opposed to a thousand? That's just logic....but I keep forgetting we're talking about ABC executives here. Logic rarely comes into play.
You need to be sure that people get paid but you also need to be sure that there's some semblance of quality left to keep it going as it's fading. I appreciate all the efforts of the fabulous Vets on OLTL and AMC, and I even stomached the focus on dayplayers and newbies to waste time, to some extent, but isn't there some kind of compromise?
Couldn't the cast have been cut down to fifteen great people and not kept at the bloated state it was at the end? Couldn't we have had all the best working and none of the rest? I mean, I get that no one wants to be in EVERY show, as that's a lot of work, but couldn't we have had more Dorian, who wasn't expensive I hear, rather than a "Dani" or "Nate"? I don't care about them. I bet you could have Dorian be more interesting reading the phone book than any of the cheapass kids thrown in my face.
I think production values were also an issue. I don't know how much it costs to shoot indoors but I'd have rather seen a cheap set than shooting in a park. Soaps are stagey. I'm used to it and I don't care. Taking them outdoors is strange and off-putting. Is it really cheaper? Maybe but I don't want reality in my daytime. That's why I'm watching a soap.
I don't know. I hear this Katie crap is costing twice as much as OLTL did and I'm sure it won't be nearly as entertaining. I know I'd rather see Bo chat with Nora and then arrest Todd for something he probably did and have Viki scold him and then have Blair argue her feelings for him as he's incarcerated while Dorian and David toast him being gone...for now. I bet that wouldn't cost as much as Katie and it would bring in some decent ratings. Better than Katie's anyway. I'm not interested in listening to that little chucklehead talk about how it feels to be a single mom or a working mom or an overpaid anchor who doesn't know how to make her life "mean something".
I'm uninterested. I want some fun and a good laugh and a moment that makes me get off my couch and say "Holy Crap!" I doubt Katie will do that...until they announce she's been cancelled and OLTL is back. Which I know won't happen, BTW.
But it would be a "Holy Crap" moment. I bet Viki could be in the promo smiling while saying "We're back". But that's a pipedream. Even I know it. But, I'd pay for it. Literally............
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Why I Hate Being Right.......This Time Anyway: The Burton Paradox
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a horrible "Neener, neener, neener" type in real life. I'm an "in your face", "I told you so" person from birth. I have two older sisters and they're both stubborn. It was survival of the fittest ideal in our little household full of strong, Jewish broads......if that's not redundant. At any rate, I love being right. I'd have it on a neon sign and carry it around with me and flash it when needed if it were more practical. But, it's not so I can't.
This time, I'm almost sorry I was right. Burton's black t-shirt will no longer be seen on GH. I've had Burton on the "out list" before anyone. I had him going when no one was seeing it. I was sure of it like I'm sure that the sun will rise and my students will whine. It was a given to me. And I was right, no matter how many told me I was crazy. But, for once, I wish I were wrong.
I knew nothing about him. When I left GH, he was the nice kid who just got into the car accident that turned him into a black t-shirt wearing thug. He was dull before, I preferred AJ, and he was dull after. Then I left and found him dull in commercials and dull all over town. Hell, he looked dull on the cover of mags in the supermarket. In other words, to be blunt, I found him dull. I'm a David Hayward/Todd Manning/Adam Chandler girl. I like snark and personality. This guy had nothing I was looking for and wasn't interested enough to pay attention. He was like watching paint dry and about as deep. Not for me, Kids, not for me.
Yet even knowing nothing about him, I could tell this guy was unhappy. I could tell he looked even more bored than usual. I didn't watch him much but when I did, he wasn't even a little there. He was reading lines and thinking about his lunch order. He was not engaged with the material at all.
Next, he was surly in person. He was making cracks about the new regime and not in love with the new direction. I won't find quotes as I'm not interested enough to look, but they were there. I know Valentini, not personally, of course, but his work well enough to know that Homey don't play that.
I love Homey and he looks nothing like you, Frank, really, don't hurt me. But he's as tough and hip as you...if you were a clown. He likes team players and cheerleaders. He's not interested in angry actors who like to rag on the boss and the show and not put on a happy face. This was sign #2 that he was on thin ice.
Third, they brought over Easton. I knew then that is was over for Burton. Easton and Monaco were the shit to Valentini. It was obvious. He wanted to make that happen, fans or no, and it would. It was a given that if Burton wasn't out, he was the loser in this "triangle". Good night, Nurse, John's here for your leading lady. If he stuck around, he was relegated to fourth lead after Todd, John, maybe Sonny or another one, and then him. He doesn't seem to be the type to like that. Too surly.
Fourth, he took that weird shot of himself with his shirt off and put it on the internet- not sure if it was Twitter or what. This came right after the Todd shirtless scene caused an uproar. That was so strange. It was kind of pathetic, like, "I'm hot, too, see?" Like Wright's current state off screen, he seemed threatened. It's pathetic when former big names are running around trying so hard to look relevant. I'd be sad if I didn't dislike them both so much.
Last, when I heard he and Valentini were "negotiating", I knew it was over. Valentini has what I call the "TSJ Treatment". He did it, allegedly, with REG, as well. He offers low, knowing it will be rejected. Or he asks for too long a term, knowing it will be rejected. The actor counters. Valentini doesn't come back to the table. It's over and it's not his fault. It's the actor who chose to leave.
This tactic works for Valentini as he can't be seen as firing a fan favorite. That's unseemly. Rather, he tells the network and the fans that it was the actor's choice and he tried and really respects the actor and wishes they'd stay. For the actor, they save face, unless they're pissed, as in the TSJ recounting of the REG moment, which led us all to see how the tactic worked. And, when TSJ himself got it a few years later, it was apparent what happened. You see, like Burton, TSJ was not a nice little boy either. He had a bit of a 'tude, as well.
But the actor may save face but he's out of a job. That's a problem, I'd say. But maybe not. I suppose it depends on the situation.
Right now, I'm conflicted. If I have to watch GH, I'm glad one of the Trio of Terror is gone. But, as I joked last week, I fear I may be right again. Is Burton headed to Y&R? He didn't deny it in the interview announcing his departure. Is it possible that we're just changing him from one show I watch to another? Is it possible that he will replace my new boyfriend, Billy Abbot, played by the lovely and talented Billy Miller? Is it that I'd have to stomach him in scenes with my long time companion, Peter "I'm too wonderful for words" Bergman? Is it possible???? Thank God Eileeen Davidson is gone. An Abbot family scene may be too much for me to bear with him in the part.
Now, I love Miller and think he's spectacular. I think Billy and Victoria are dull as dishwater, though, I preferred him with spark plug, Chloe, but I wish him the best. He's leading man potential, to me, and if he leaves, I'd seek him out elsewhere. I like him that much. I thought his Lifetime movie was great. I loved him. But why Burton? Why? Why?
Maybe I'm wrong. Please let me be wrong. Let Burton go into prime time with JFP and James "I was once great in Freaks and Geeks but am now super annoying" Franco. Please. But, let's be honest, that's got disaster written all over it.All three are irritating. It's a no go. But maybe there's something I'm missing. Maybe Sony won't want him. Maybe, just maybe, he wants to retire? Maybe? Or be a professional bad singer? Maybe? Anyone? Buehler?
I know, it's a pipe dream. Be careful what you ask for, Kid, you'll surely get it. And, don't quote me, but those Laura Wright rumors are picking up speed...and legs. UGH. The Gruesome Twosome on Y&R.
Oh well. At least I can watch Todd in peace. They can put John in all those black t-shirts. It's not Todd's style.............
This time, I'm almost sorry I was right. Burton's black t-shirt will no longer be seen on GH. I've had Burton on the "out list" before anyone. I had him going when no one was seeing it. I was sure of it like I'm sure that the sun will rise and my students will whine. It was a given to me. And I was right, no matter how many told me I was crazy. But, for once, I wish I were wrong.
I knew nothing about him. When I left GH, he was the nice kid who just got into the car accident that turned him into a black t-shirt wearing thug. He was dull before, I preferred AJ, and he was dull after. Then I left and found him dull in commercials and dull all over town. Hell, he looked dull on the cover of mags in the supermarket. In other words, to be blunt, I found him dull. I'm a David Hayward/Todd Manning/Adam Chandler girl. I like snark and personality. This guy had nothing I was looking for and wasn't interested enough to pay attention. He was like watching paint dry and about as deep. Not for me, Kids, not for me.
Yet even knowing nothing about him, I could tell this guy was unhappy. I could tell he looked even more bored than usual. I didn't watch him much but when I did, he wasn't even a little there. He was reading lines and thinking about his lunch order. He was not engaged with the material at all.
Next, he was surly in person. He was making cracks about the new regime and not in love with the new direction. I won't find quotes as I'm not interested enough to look, but they were there. I know Valentini, not personally, of course, but his work well enough to know that Homey don't play that.
Third, they brought over Easton. I knew then that is was over for Burton. Easton and Monaco were the shit to Valentini. It was obvious. He wanted to make that happen, fans or no, and it would. It was a given that if Burton wasn't out, he was the loser in this "triangle". Good night, Nurse, John's here for your leading lady. If he stuck around, he was relegated to fourth lead after Todd, John, maybe Sonny or another one, and then him. He doesn't seem to be the type to like that. Too surly.
Fourth, he took that weird shot of himself with his shirt off and put it on the internet- not sure if it was Twitter or what. This came right after the Todd shirtless scene caused an uproar. That was so strange. It was kind of pathetic, like, "I'm hot, too, see?" Like Wright's current state off screen, he seemed threatened. It's pathetic when former big names are running around trying so hard to look relevant. I'd be sad if I didn't dislike them both so much.
Last, when I heard he and Valentini were "negotiating", I knew it was over. Valentini has what I call the "TSJ Treatment". He did it, allegedly, with REG, as well. He offers low, knowing it will be rejected. Or he asks for too long a term, knowing it will be rejected. The actor counters. Valentini doesn't come back to the table. It's over and it's not his fault. It's the actor who chose to leave.
This tactic works for Valentini as he can't be seen as firing a fan favorite. That's unseemly. Rather, he tells the network and the fans that it was the actor's choice and he tried and really respects the actor and wishes they'd stay. For the actor, they save face, unless they're pissed, as in the TSJ recounting of the REG moment, which led us all to see how the tactic worked. And, when TSJ himself got it a few years later, it was apparent what happened. You see, like Burton, TSJ was not a nice little boy either. He had a bit of a 'tude, as well.
But the actor may save face but he's out of a job. That's a problem, I'd say. But maybe not. I suppose it depends on the situation.
Right now, I'm conflicted. If I have to watch GH, I'm glad one of the Trio of Terror is gone. But, as I joked last week, I fear I may be right again. Is Burton headed to Y&R? He didn't deny it in the interview announcing his departure. Is it possible that we're just changing him from one show I watch to another? Is it possible that he will replace my new boyfriend, Billy Abbot, played by the lovely and talented Billy Miller? Is it that I'd have to stomach him in scenes with my long time companion, Peter "I'm too wonderful for words" Bergman? Is it possible???? Thank God Eileeen Davidson is gone. An Abbot family scene may be too much for me to bear with him in the part.
Now, I love Miller and think he's spectacular. I think Billy and Victoria are dull as dishwater, though, I preferred him with spark plug, Chloe, but I wish him the best. He's leading man potential, to me, and if he leaves, I'd seek him out elsewhere. I like him that much. I thought his Lifetime movie was great. I loved him. But why Burton? Why? Why?
Maybe I'm wrong. Please let me be wrong. Let Burton go into prime time with JFP and James "I was once great in Freaks and Geeks but am now super annoying" Franco. Please. But, let's be honest, that's got disaster written all over it.All three are irritating. It's a no go. But maybe there's something I'm missing. Maybe Sony won't want him. Maybe, just maybe, he wants to retire? Maybe? Or be a professional bad singer? Maybe? Anyone? Buehler?
I know, it's a pipe dream. Be careful what you ask for, Kid, you'll surely get it. And, don't quote me, but those Laura Wright rumors are picking up speed...and legs. UGH. The Gruesome Twosome on Y&R.
Oh well. At least I can watch Todd in peace. They can put John in all those black t-shirts. It's not Todd's style.............
Monday, August 27, 2012
Is It A Shift in Genre or Thinning the Herd?- The Big Names Take a Tumble
There has been a really interesting topic of discussion this past weekend and I want to address it head on. There's a trend to move on from the "Big Names" in all suriving soaps. Is it a purge or an amputation of diseased tissue to allow the organism to live?
Ya know, that Marlena De La Croix wrote a piece I thought was interesting about how all the shows may be axing their major lead actors. Here's the link: http://marlenadelacroix.com/2012/08/sunday-reflections-7-central-actors-leave-takings-on-days-of-our-lives-bold-headlocks-and-diction-on-b-one-strange-interview-from-bb/ I'm an academic. I have to cite sources. You're lucky I didn't use the APA format!!
At any rate, if you don't hear the Burton clock ticking, you're living under a rock. This could go either way, but it's bloody likely he'll be out unless he plays Frank's game. I'm sick about Reckell, but what can you do? DOOL is a nightmare right now. Braeden can go as I think he sucks but I do recognize his value as an icon for Y&R. I just find him unappealing in every way. Ron Moss- well, I don't watch B&B but I know he's been there a long time. And has a funky fashion sense. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more. That's about all I got on him.
But, really, what does it all mean?What's it about and could it be telling us something good instead of something bad? Should we expect these shows to evolve and change over time? Should this be a sign of something that's been needed for years?
I doubt it can be summed up as one specific trend, really. Every show has a reason for cutting who they're cutting and why. I think there's an economic incentive here and it's not story-driven. I think it's about saving money, not a genre. Can a better bottom line buy time? Sure, but what does it accomplish in the long run? We all have to deal with change and these shows are not immune, but there's change and there's upset. Which is this?
I don't think it can be taken as a trend as it's not happening everywhere. It's occurring with only some individuals who don't want to roll with the new environment. Is it the shows that change or the stars that refuse to do so? I don't know. I don't know any of them, their agents, or have any inside info at all. But I'd say there's enough blame to go around.
I admit that I'm biased. I'll shout it from the rooftops as it should be obvious by now anyway. I AM BIASED!! But this is my blog and I don't get paid for it and I do it for my own amusement, so if you don't like it, you can bite me. But feel free to speak your mind as many do. It's always welcome. I am a civil libertarian and I might not like what you say either but I'll fight for your right to say it.
At any rate, I think some of these changes have to happen but I'm fascinated with who they are, meaning the ones that are "going". I was disgusted when David Canary left AMC. Really disgusted. But they moved on and supposedly didn't want him anymore....Not sure if that's true, but it was rumored. It actually made me NOT watch that show as I didn't appreciate the treatment of the other male leads of value- Tad and Jesse, to name a few. AMC had long ago thrown any worthwhile female lead under the bus or off to pasture, IMO.
But I didn't bitch and moan to the network about it. I didn't rant or rave much about the alleged behavior of the network- okay, I did some but it's in my DNA, I can't help it. It was not the best move, IMO, but maybe DC wanted it, too, and it was something that happened. Adam couldn't shoulder that show forever. And his send off was glorious. But I missed him, still do, and it was what it was. But it killed that show for me.
These departures may be different. Braeden is a mainstay on that show. I don't like him or Victor even a little, but he's an icon over there. I won't deny that. But maybe he needed to be put on backburner a bit more. Not everyone likes his antics and maybe there should have been less Victor as he almost always is in an "A" story. Maybe we needed less Victor. The Sharon story was appalling, and still is, and shows there's nothing left to do with this guy. He needs to marry that slag Nicki and ride off into the sunset for a while. Sorry, but it's what I think. Let Adam be the new Victor. Muhney's a helluva lot more appealing.
Reckell is a head scratcher to me, I admit it. I love that guy and his character isn't overplayed or redundant. He's a mainstay. He's the old school soap hero who has aged gracefully, has his supercouple wife, and can still be pretty hot. I hope it's his idea and based on money or time off because I'd hate to see this type of character be undervalued. He's needed. I call him the "Bo", as in Bo Buchanan and Bo Brady. They're the great guys who make you smile just being around. I'm smiling right now thinking about them. They're the guys who you want in your own life but hardly exist in reality. You know what they are? Old Hollywood Heroes. And there aren't enough of them anymore. Too much angst nowadays. John McBain or Ronan Malloy will never be a Bo. They're too conflicted. I hope the Bo isn't being phased out as he's so needed all around. Like the matriarchs, they're the heart of these shows.
Burton, well, I've ragged on that guy enough. I don't like him. I don't like the character. I don't like anything about him except his aunt and his father and his brother. Other than that, he sucks. So, he can leave. But I think it's interesting. If he does leave GH, it's the shift I've been yelling about for months. It's the move away from GH as it was, to GH as it will be, meaning more emphasis on OLTL. Even if he stays, he won't be front and center all the time as his time will be reduced, rumor has it. The focus of that show has changed and will change more as time goes on. How much, we'll see. But I haven't been wrong yet. And the Laura Wright rumors are really making headway. Yet, if you heard that she's looking to move on, it would make a lot of things make sense.
If Burton can be out, she can, too. That show is going in a direction that Valentini wants to take it. Like it or not. The Trio of Terror's reign is looking like it's over. Not only is Jason floundering but Carly is headed for a massive slap with the reality stick and it will knock her out. If you don't see this coming, you're blind. Or refuse to see. If she sticks around, she'll be changed forever. She's a chump. Top dog status is about to be relegated to the younger crowd. She's now another middle aged broad on ABC. And that's never a good spot.
Yet characters of quality remain in some cases. Jack Abbot sticks around and Michael Baldwin, we hope. Todd Manning survives cancellation and I still have crossed fingers for my boyfriend David Hayward and maybe even a Jesse Hubbard somewhere in the future. Could it be we get a Bo sighting again sometime in Port Charles to lead McBain in the right direction?
Oh, I get breathless with the possibility. Could it be true? I don't know. But, as I've learned this year, it ain't over till it's over. And death is never final in a soap....there's always the potential for resurrection.
Ya know, that Marlena De La Croix wrote a piece I thought was interesting about how all the shows may be axing their major lead actors. Here's the link: http://marlenadelacroix.com/2012/08/sunday-reflections-7-central-actors-leave-takings-on-days-of-our-lives-bold-headlocks-and-diction-on-b-one-strange-interview-from-bb/ I'm an academic. I have to cite sources. You're lucky I didn't use the APA format!!
At any rate, if you don't hear the Burton clock ticking, you're living under a rock. This could go either way, but it's bloody likely he'll be out unless he plays Frank's game. I'm sick about Reckell, but what can you do? DOOL is a nightmare right now. Braeden can go as I think he sucks but I do recognize his value as an icon for Y&R. I just find him unappealing in every way. Ron Moss- well, I don't watch B&B but I know he's been there a long time. And has a funky fashion sense. Wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more. That's about all I got on him.
But, really, what does it all mean?What's it about and could it be telling us something good instead of something bad? Should we expect these shows to evolve and change over time? Should this be a sign of something that's been needed for years?
I doubt it can be summed up as one specific trend, really. Every show has a reason for cutting who they're cutting and why. I think there's an economic incentive here and it's not story-driven. I think it's about saving money, not a genre. Can a better bottom line buy time? Sure, but what does it accomplish in the long run? We all have to deal with change and these shows are not immune, but there's change and there's upset. Which is this?
I don't think it can be taken as a trend as it's not happening everywhere. It's occurring with only some individuals who don't want to roll with the new environment. Is it the shows that change or the stars that refuse to do so? I don't know. I don't know any of them, their agents, or have any inside info at all. But I'd say there's enough blame to go around.
I admit that I'm biased. I'll shout it from the rooftops as it should be obvious by now anyway. I AM BIASED!! But this is my blog and I don't get paid for it and I do it for my own amusement, so if you don't like it, you can bite me. But feel free to speak your mind as many do. It's always welcome. I am a civil libertarian and I might not like what you say either but I'll fight for your right to say it.
At any rate, I think some of these changes have to happen but I'm fascinated with who they are, meaning the ones that are "going". I was disgusted when David Canary left AMC. Really disgusted. But they moved on and supposedly didn't want him anymore....Not sure if that's true, but it was rumored. It actually made me NOT watch that show as I didn't appreciate the treatment of the other male leads of value- Tad and Jesse, to name a few. AMC had long ago thrown any worthwhile female lead under the bus or off to pasture, IMO.
But I didn't bitch and moan to the network about it. I didn't rant or rave much about the alleged behavior of the network- okay, I did some but it's in my DNA, I can't help it. It was not the best move, IMO, but maybe DC wanted it, too, and it was something that happened. Adam couldn't shoulder that show forever. And his send off was glorious. But I missed him, still do, and it was what it was. But it killed that show for me.
These departures may be different. Braeden is a mainstay on that show. I don't like him or Victor even a little, but he's an icon over there. I won't deny that. But maybe he needed to be put on backburner a bit more. Not everyone likes his antics and maybe there should have been less Victor as he almost always is in an "A" story. Maybe we needed less Victor. The Sharon story was appalling, and still is, and shows there's nothing left to do with this guy. He needs to marry that slag Nicki and ride off into the sunset for a while. Sorry, but it's what I think. Let Adam be the new Victor. Muhney's a helluva lot more appealing.
Reckell is a head scratcher to me, I admit it. I love that guy and his character isn't overplayed or redundant. He's a mainstay. He's the old school soap hero who has aged gracefully, has his supercouple wife, and can still be pretty hot. I hope it's his idea and based on money or time off because I'd hate to see this type of character be undervalued. He's needed. I call him the "Bo", as in Bo Buchanan and Bo Brady. They're the great guys who make you smile just being around. I'm smiling right now thinking about them. They're the guys who you want in your own life but hardly exist in reality. You know what they are? Old Hollywood Heroes. And there aren't enough of them anymore. Too much angst nowadays. John McBain or Ronan Malloy will never be a Bo. They're too conflicted. I hope the Bo isn't being phased out as he's so needed all around. Like the matriarchs, they're the heart of these shows.
Burton, well, I've ragged on that guy enough. I don't like him. I don't like the character. I don't like anything about him except his aunt and his father and his brother. Other than that, he sucks. So, he can leave. But I think it's interesting. If he does leave GH, it's the shift I've been yelling about for months. It's the move away from GH as it was, to GH as it will be, meaning more emphasis on OLTL. Even if he stays, he won't be front and center all the time as his time will be reduced, rumor has it. The focus of that show has changed and will change more as time goes on. How much, we'll see. But I haven't been wrong yet. And the Laura Wright rumors are really making headway. Yet, if you heard that she's looking to move on, it would make a lot of things make sense.
If Burton can be out, she can, too. That show is going in a direction that Valentini wants to take it. Like it or not. The Trio of Terror's reign is looking like it's over. Not only is Jason floundering but Carly is headed for a massive slap with the reality stick and it will knock her out. If you don't see this coming, you're blind. Or refuse to see. If she sticks around, she'll be changed forever. She's a chump. Top dog status is about to be relegated to the younger crowd. She's now another middle aged broad on ABC. And that's never a good spot.
Yet characters of quality remain in some cases. Jack Abbot sticks around and Michael Baldwin, we hope. Todd Manning survives cancellation and I still have crossed fingers for my boyfriend David Hayward and maybe even a Jesse Hubbard somewhere in the future. Could it be we get a Bo sighting again sometime in Port Charles to lead McBain in the right direction?
Oh, I get breathless with the possibility. Could it be true? I don't know. But, as I've learned this year, it ain't over till it's over. And death is never final in a soap....there's always the potential for resurrection.
Friday, August 24, 2012
The Stink of the Loser Is Catching: OLTL Characters Get the GH Disease
I'll say it again as it can't be said enough. GH characters, for the most part, are horrible. OLTL characters, in general, were wonderful. Therefore, with maybe two or three notable exceptions, putting them together in any meaningful way is a mistake. Even a number of scenes can be dangerous. The classic OLTL characters get that stink of the loser all over them. End the madness, Frank. Stop slowly killing the little bit of quality daytime has left.
Look, I watchd a classic DOOL character die the other day and didn't care. What a travesty. Jack Devereaux dies for the upteenth time, and for reals this time, and I'm unmoved. How sad. They killed him long ago, so who cares? Better to be gone than the doofus they made him into, right? Now kill Jenn, too. She's a mess and Reeves needs to keep her rightwing mouth shut. But, for a change, I digress.
GH has about four or five decent characters as I see it. That's an improvement from the one I saw before. Of course, we have the Wonderful Ms. Elliot as Tracy. She's fabulous in all ways. Then I see that NLG's Alexis as Nora-lite without the schmaltz but I like her. And she's a homegirl who went to school with my cousins, so WTH. I never minded Luke much. And recently I find Lulu and Dante rather adorable, so they can stay. But the rest suck. Seriously. Sam might be okay but I'm not interested enough to pay attention.
I've rattled on ad infinitum about the nightmare that is Carly. Really. I found you the perfect pairing for her, Frank. Chandy could be gotten for a song. He's ready, willing, and able. Any other pairing with that braying nag makes that character irredeemable. Obviously you know Todd is too strong to be brought down by her emanating odor of horror. He may be able to withstand the fumes of her suckitude. But it's catching, Frank. He may be more susceptible than you think.
Cardy is the only way to go. She needs a full body hug done only as Chandy can do and STAT. She's a one woman wrecking crew for good characters. I see Jax fans are panicked as they see the bus headed for their boy and know there's no way out. There's no Blair on her way to save him. My condolences, Jax Fans, really.
I have faith in my boy Todd as when he's not with Carly the Queen of Suck, he's still rather awesome Wednesday he was classic Todd. Manipulating the mentally ill woman for his own benefit. Turning into the Ice King at the mere mention of Blair's name due to excessive pain. I only expected a vintage "I hate Blair" rant but, alas, no Viki to hear it. Go to 430. Vintage stuff wasted on a stranger. But one with DID!!
God, I miss that show.........
Mild taunting of his nemesis Johnny. And, finally, his web of lies beginning to unravel and he's oblivious and powerless to control it. No doubt Chubby Carly is about to find out what a true moron she is and, hopefully, this will all end. They've become friends, by her admission. She told Johnny he's harmless. Just wait Toots. You're standing under the anvils and they a-flying. Can't be soon enough for me. She's about to be flattened by her own stupidity. Now that's Must-See-TV.
Starr has been even more insipid snd insufferable on GH than she was on OLTL. That's an accomplishment. I didn't think it was possible but Nimnuts has done it. She's downright awful. I know the idea is she would end up being the new Viki but her sweet little romance is gagworthy. It's terrible. Watching her and Michael the Mob Prince be all kinds of cute is truly nauseating. Stop it or just abandon her. She's too far gone with the stink of the loser. Her descent started in Llanview and she's got the full blown infection now. She's one of them. RIP, Starr Manning, RIP.
The one who may skate is John as he was not well defined before. I have to admit that I don't mind his scenes with Sam and his hot non-sibling relationship with her is fairly entertaining. But I'm beginning to get bored...shock, I know...and it's troublesome. Move it along, Nimnuts, your pacing sucks. It's either full throttle or snail's pace. Let's move on. I found John a bit drab on OLTL but fine. Now I find him engaging in comparison to the dolts on GH but he needs to be more involved. Let's nail Sam and go from there. His scenes with Todd were hysterical and classic. But what can you expect. It was OLTL, not GH.
Alexis would be fine with a OLTL character, like Nora, who could teach her a thing or two. But I'm not interested enough to speculate, so I'll leave it at that. What I will say is that this "hybrid" that's allegedly happening is way too GH heavy and getting on my nerves. They suck, Frank, and your people don't. Remember? Your show was the one on the rise. This one was on the way down. Why are they all still here when the winners are on hold? Is it that PP crap? Maybe but I doubt it. Run along and clear the decks.
Is it that Valentini is being infected with the stink of the loser, as well? Good God. That would be bad. We can't allow that to happen. Here's a way to fight off the illeness. Kill the Trio of Terror and be done with them. Backburner most of the rest. That's it. It's easy. You're giving them all some awful disease. Just cut the cord and be done with it.
Soon enough, we won't care. And we'll be done with you. You'll be too far gone with the Stink of the Loser.
Hurry up. I'm bored. I'm falling asleep writing this................I'll have to go watch that great Todd and Viki scene above. It's a million times better than the crap I see now. Not one bad smell there. Just a whole lotta snark and fun and good acting. Guess why? No losers in sight.
I miss VIKI.....................
Look, I watchd a classic DOOL character die the other day and didn't care. What a travesty. Jack Devereaux dies for the upteenth time, and for reals this time, and I'm unmoved. How sad. They killed him long ago, so who cares? Better to be gone than the doofus they made him into, right? Now kill Jenn, too. She's a mess and Reeves needs to keep her rightwing mouth shut. But, for a change, I digress.
GH has about four or five decent characters as I see it. That's an improvement from the one I saw before. Of course, we have the Wonderful Ms. Elliot as Tracy. She's fabulous in all ways. Then I see that NLG's Alexis as Nora-lite without the schmaltz but I like her. And she's a homegirl who went to school with my cousins, so WTH. I never minded Luke much. And recently I find Lulu and Dante rather adorable, so they can stay. But the rest suck. Seriously. Sam might be okay but I'm not interested enough to pay attention.
I've rattled on ad infinitum about the nightmare that is Carly. Really. I found you the perfect pairing for her, Frank. Chandy could be gotten for a song. He's ready, willing, and able. Any other pairing with that braying nag makes that character irredeemable. Obviously you know Todd is too strong to be brought down by her emanating odor of horror. He may be able to withstand the fumes of her suckitude. But it's catching, Frank. He may be more susceptible than you think.
Cardy is the only way to go. She needs a full body hug done only as Chandy can do and STAT. She's a one woman wrecking crew for good characters. I see Jax fans are panicked as they see the bus headed for their boy and know there's no way out. There's no Blair on her way to save him. My condolences, Jax Fans, really.
I have faith in my boy Todd as when he's not with Carly the Queen of Suck, he's still rather awesome Wednesday he was classic Todd. Manipulating the mentally ill woman for his own benefit. Turning into the Ice King at the mere mention of Blair's name due to excessive pain. I only expected a vintage "I hate Blair" rant but, alas, no Viki to hear it. Go to 430. Vintage stuff wasted on a stranger. But one with DID!!
God, I miss that show.........
Mild taunting of his nemesis Johnny. And, finally, his web of lies beginning to unravel and he's oblivious and powerless to control it. No doubt Chubby Carly is about to find out what a true moron she is and, hopefully, this will all end. They've become friends, by her admission. She told Johnny he's harmless. Just wait Toots. You're standing under the anvils and they a-flying. Can't be soon enough for me. She's about to be flattened by her own stupidity. Now that's Must-See-TV.
Starr has been even more insipid snd insufferable on GH than she was on OLTL. That's an accomplishment. I didn't think it was possible but Nimnuts has done it. She's downright awful. I know the idea is she would end up being the new Viki but her sweet little romance is gagworthy. It's terrible. Watching her and Michael the Mob Prince be all kinds of cute is truly nauseating. Stop it or just abandon her. She's too far gone with the stink of the loser. Her descent started in Llanview and she's got the full blown infection now. She's one of them. RIP, Starr Manning, RIP.
The one who may skate is John as he was not well defined before. I have to admit that I don't mind his scenes with Sam and his hot non-sibling relationship with her is fairly entertaining. But I'm beginning to get bored...shock, I know...and it's troublesome. Move it along, Nimnuts, your pacing sucks. It's either full throttle or snail's pace. Let's move on. I found John a bit drab on OLTL but fine. Now I find him engaging in comparison to the dolts on GH but he needs to be more involved. Let's nail Sam and go from there. His scenes with Todd were hysterical and classic. But what can you expect. It was OLTL, not GH.
Alexis would be fine with a OLTL character, like Nora, who could teach her a thing or two. But I'm not interested enough to speculate, so I'll leave it at that. What I will say is that this "hybrid" that's allegedly happening is way too GH heavy and getting on my nerves. They suck, Frank, and your people don't. Remember? Your show was the one on the rise. This one was on the way down. Why are they all still here when the winners are on hold? Is it that PP crap? Maybe but I doubt it. Run along and clear the decks.
Is it that Valentini is being infected with the stink of the loser, as well? Good God. That would be bad. We can't allow that to happen. Here's a way to fight off the illeness. Kill the Trio of Terror and be done with them. Backburner most of the rest. That's it. It's easy. You're giving them all some awful disease. Just cut the cord and be done with it.
Soon enough, we won't care. And we'll be done with you. You'll be too far gone with the Stink of the Loser.
Hurry up. I'm bored. I'm falling asleep writing this................I'll have to go watch that great Todd and Viki scene above. It's a million times better than the crap I see now. Not one bad smell there. Just a whole lotta snark and fun and good acting. Guess why? No losers in sight.
I miss VIKI.....................
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
JFP's Additions to Y&R Bolster OLTL...I Mean GH
Ever since it's been announced that Jill Farren Phelps would be taking over Y&R soon, I've wondered about what would happen there. Y&R has been a trainwreck for months. You'd think new blood would help....but it won't. This, I'm sure, will seal their fate. I've predicted they'd be on the downward slide for the next year or so and this will ensure that is true. RIP, Y&R. I didn't know you long or well but, well, I knew you a bit. So, I'm not crying about your imminent demise.
Here's my prediction to what will become of the once juggernaut soap, The Young and the Restless. With this broad behind the wheel, it's all downhill. Hell, she ruined two out of three ABC soaps. Why not start destroying CBS? They're on their way out anyway.
I can tell you for a fact that Frank Valentini will do very well due to her new position. He'll be the one who really wins. Not only will he pawn off some useless deadweight from GH but he'll pawn off their fans who he seems to want to shed, as well. Viva La Phelps, then, I say, and take these losers with you!!!
The JFP faithful will surely be offered positions and run to her side. They aren't really wanted on OLTL, I mean GH, and I'm sure Valentini will back up the U-Haul to load them out while they ponder the offer. No need to answer, just move on. That's how he rolls.
Steve Burton as Adam Newman
Now, I'm not an Adam Newman fan but I do like Michael Muhney quite a but. I think he's talented and interesting and attractive in a part I find very unappealing. Yet his relationship with Chelsea has warmed me to him. At any rate, that's a sure sign of why he'll be recast with a talentless automaton. There's no way Jilly will resist casting one of her recently unemployed "stars" into one of the best parts on the show.
Just think about it. It's genius. Burton can stare aimlessly at the screen while everyone acts around him. He'll blink when Chelsea tells him she loves him. He can look confused when Sharon rails at him. And he'll have ever so much chemistry with his new brother, Nick, who stares and blinks a lot, as well. But I'll tell ya, Nick is still a little hotty, IMO. Burton...not so much.
The big question will be- does Burton get to bring the black t-shirt or will he relent to Adam's wardrobe? It does verge more on the order of Todd Manning suits, so the nailbiter might be in that issue. I know I'm on the edge of my seat...only not.
OLTL's big gain...I mean GH....will be Muhney as a recast SNV. Now that's a recast I can get behind. Just kill off Tea. Works for me!!
Maurice Benard as Victor Newman
Hey, she likes to "young it up" and compared to Braeden, Benard's an infant. Besides, as she would say, who wants to watch all those old people? Benard can still "act young"...if you close your eyes and don't pay attention. Who needs talent to be the dolt Victor, anyway? I think Benard has mumbling down to an artform, so he'll be a great recast. We know he likes the whole "boxing" thing and I've seen Vic hit the bag a time or two....and I don't mean Nicki.
Laura Wright as Victoria Newman
Now, I would have said Nicki Newman as she's as much of a talentless slag with weight issues as the current lady in the role. However, we know that she and Benard won't work together and Jilly does what they want. So, I could see her as a "mature" Victoria to be sure that there is no real physical interaction between the two.
Victoria has become a drab housefrau in this incarnation who dabbles in business. I think LW would like to be paired with Billy Abbot as he's young and fun and talented. That has all the earmarks of someone who JFP likes and she'll be sure to attach her sizable ass to his side like a barnacle. She can't seem to affix herself to Howarth, so she'll need a more pliable substance. He's so slippery, she had to chase him around the studio to even get him to take a damn picture with her on Twitter. Oh, Honey, that's pathetic. Move on. It's just a picture. He's not interested. And he didn't look pretty in it. But, I digress.
I briefly thought she might be Phyllis but she's not interesting enough to be nutty Phyllis, who I'm sure JFP will cart off to the loony bin as she's too complicated and La Stafford is too wonderful to last under the new regime. Talent and experience is always rewarded with pink slips.
Kale Browne as Jack Abbot
No reason, just because JFP casts him whenever possible. Why not dump the wonderful Peter Bergman for him? It's in her playbook. I'm one of the few OLTL fans who didn't mind him or his Sam but he was dull and unspeakable when they recast him with Greg from AMC. That was a bad recast for the character.
But I could see this recast as it's a terrible idea and sure to infuriate anyone with taste who's left watching that show. Bergman and Browne are about the same age, I think. Same....well, nothing else. But it's a massive mistake, so I could see it happening.
John Bolger as Michael Baldwin
See above reference to Kale Browne. No more needs to be said except that I love Christian LeBlanc, as well, so why not dump him? It's a dumbass thing to do and one that would make her smile.
Tim Gibbs as Nick Newman
This, again, for the above reasons. JFP just likes these guys. I won't say anything else as that could be libelous. But, let your imagination wander. I have no idea what their appeal is in front of the camera so they must be rockin' behind it. Maybe they're great backgammon players for lonely nights in the grotto at Jill's house.
These are just a few of my predictions on what will happen and I can't be happier to say I hope they all come to pass. Then I won't wince during 75% of OLTL, I mean GH. Besides, there's no room for the Trio of Terror anymore. There's new people to eat the show. Like Todd and his wife who is on her way. And his surly son who I hope can act this time. And his whiny daughter and her boyfriend and maybe his cute little nephew. Oh, and his sister. And her homebound lump.
You see, JFP taking the Trio of Terror works to clear the decks of the dregs. They need to go and make way for the fresh faces who are old faces. There's still room for Tracy and Luke and even mean old Johnny, who has become more sympathetic. I say recast Carly with Stafford who is spectacular and make her as crazy as Phyllis. Keep her with Johnny. I might be able to stomach her then. But Carly would need to hook up with the new doctor from Pine Valley.....you got it......
Bring back Dr. Cliff Warner with Bergman and give him the edge he needs. I'm sure Phelps will dump Genie Francis as soon as she can as, well, she's old and gaining weight and, well, I think they hate one another. But Phelps hates all women except for perky 18 year olds and pudgy, desperate Laura Wright. So, bring back Laura for Luke for a moment and let her deal with whatever she dealt with. I'm not interested. Just give me some Scotty and I'm fine.
JFP will decimate that show like she decimated GH and tried to decimate OLTL. But she couldn't there as I think Slezak kicked her ass. Granted I have nothing to lead me to believe that but I want to, so I do. I believe Slezak can do anything as, well, she's Slezak. And there's no more that needs to be said.
What I will say is anything she feels she can do "improve" Y&R will surely kill it and leave some great talent for Valentini. There's plenty from his own show and AMC but why not add some? I'm sure she'll dump Darnell and Debbie as they are not only old but people of color. And are spectacular actors with substance. There's no need for them there. Besides, their characters suck. That we can all agree on. I'm sure Angie and Jesse could come to Port Charles and straighten out some of this crap!!! They have a police force and a hospital after all.
So, Viva La Phelps and good luck at Y&R!! I won't be watching and you don't mind. Just take your talentless lumps with you. And let the Chubby Fangurl in Leopard Print, the Bloated Cyborg, and the Stubby Mobster work their magic over there. The Trio of Terror are done on ABC. They've had their day. Let CBS have them. It's their turn to see the "magic" of nothingness work the ratings.
But hands off Tracy. She's ours!!
Here's my prediction to what will become of the once juggernaut soap, The Young and the Restless. With this broad behind the wheel, it's all downhill. Hell, she ruined two out of three ABC soaps. Why not start destroying CBS? They're on their way out anyway.
I can tell you for a fact that Frank Valentini will do very well due to her new position. He'll be the one who really wins. Not only will he pawn off some useless deadweight from GH but he'll pawn off their fans who he seems to want to shed, as well. Viva La Phelps, then, I say, and take these losers with you!!!
The JFP faithful will surely be offered positions and run to her side. They aren't really wanted on OLTL, I mean GH, and I'm sure Valentini will back up the U-Haul to load them out while they ponder the offer. No need to answer, just move on. That's how he rolls.
Steve Burton as Adam Newman
Now, I'm not an Adam Newman fan but I do like Michael Muhney quite a but. I think he's talented and interesting and attractive in a part I find very unappealing. Yet his relationship with Chelsea has warmed me to him. At any rate, that's a sure sign of why he'll be recast with a talentless automaton. There's no way Jilly will resist casting one of her recently unemployed "stars" into one of the best parts on the show.
Just think about it. It's genius. Burton can stare aimlessly at the screen while everyone acts around him. He'll blink when Chelsea tells him she loves him. He can look confused when Sharon rails at him. And he'll have ever so much chemistry with his new brother, Nick, who stares and blinks a lot, as well. But I'll tell ya, Nick is still a little hotty, IMO. Burton...not so much.
The big question will be- does Burton get to bring the black t-shirt or will he relent to Adam's wardrobe? It does verge more on the order of Todd Manning suits, so the nailbiter might be in that issue. I know I'm on the edge of my seat...only not.
OLTL's big gain...I mean GH....will be Muhney as a recast SNV. Now that's a recast I can get behind. Just kill off Tea. Works for me!!
Maurice Benard as Victor Newman
Hey, she likes to "young it up" and compared to Braeden, Benard's an infant. Besides, as she would say, who wants to watch all those old people? Benard can still "act young"...if you close your eyes and don't pay attention. Who needs talent to be the dolt Victor, anyway? I think Benard has mumbling down to an artform, so he'll be a great recast. We know he likes the whole "boxing" thing and I've seen Vic hit the bag a time or two....and I don't mean Nicki.Laura Wright as Victoria Newman
Now, I would have said Nicki Newman as she's as much of a talentless slag with weight issues as the current lady in the role. However, we know that she and Benard won't work together and Jilly does what they want. So, I could see her as a "mature" Victoria to be sure that there is no real physical interaction between the two.
Victoria has become a drab housefrau in this incarnation who dabbles in business. I think LW would like to be paired with Billy Abbot as he's young and fun and talented. That has all the earmarks of someone who JFP likes and she'll be sure to attach her sizable ass to his side like a barnacle. She can't seem to affix herself to Howarth, so she'll need a more pliable substance. He's so slippery, she had to chase him around the studio to even get him to take a damn picture with her on Twitter. Oh, Honey, that's pathetic. Move on. It's just a picture. He's not interested. And he didn't look pretty in it. But, I digress.
I briefly thought she might be Phyllis but she's not interesting enough to be nutty Phyllis, who I'm sure JFP will cart off to the loony bin as she's too complicated and La Stafford is too wonderful to last under the new regime. Talent and experience is always rewarded with pink slips.
Kale Browne as Jack Abbot
No reason, just because JFP casts him whenever possible. Why not dump the wonderful Peter Bergman for him? It's in her playbook. I'm one of the few OLTL fans who didn't mind him or his Sam but he was dull and unspeakable when they recast him with Greg from AMC. That was a bad recast for the character.
But I could see this recast as it's a terrible idea and sure to infuriate anyone with taste who's left watching that show. Bergman and Browne are about the same age, I think. Same....well, nothing else. But it's a massive mistake, so I could see it happening.
John Bolger as Michael Baldwin
See above reference to Kale Browne. No more needs to be said except that I love Christian LeBlanc, as well, so why not dump him? It's a dumbass thing to do and one that would make her smile.
Tim Gibbs as Nick Newman
This, again, for the above reasons. JFP just likes these guys. I won't say anything else as that could be libelous. But, let your imagination wander. I have no idea what their appeal is in front of the camera so they must be rockin' behind it. Maybe they're great backgammon players for lonely nights in the grotto at Jill's house.
These are just a few of my predictions on what will happen and I can't be happier to say I hope they all come to pass. Then I won't wince during 75% of OLTL, I mean GH. Besides, there's no room for the Trio of Terror anymore. There's new people to eat the show. Like Todd and his wife who is on her way. And his surly son who I hope can act this time. And his whiny daughter and her boyfriend and maybe his cute little nephew. Oh, and his sister. And her homebound lump.
You see, JFP taking the Trio of Terror works to clear the decks of the dregs. They need to go and make way for the fresh faces who are old faces. There's still room for Tracy and Luke and even mean old Johnny, who has become more sympathetic. I say recast Carly with Stafford who is spectacular and make her as crazy as Phyllis. Keep her with Johnny. I might be able to stomach her then. But Carly would need to hook up with the new doctor from Pine Valley.....you got it......
Bring back Dr. Cliff Warner with Bergman and give him the edge he needs. I'm sure Phelps will dump Genie Francis as soon as she can as, well, she's old and gaining weight and, well, I think they hate one another. But Phelps hates all women except for perky 18 year olds and pudgy, desperate Laura Wright. So, bring back Laura for Luke for a moment and let her deal with whatever she dealt with. I'm not interested. Just give me some Scotty and I'm fine.
JFP will decimate that show like she decimated GH and tried to decimate OLTL. But she couldn't there as I think Slezak kicked her ass. Granted I have nothing to lead me to believe that but I want to, so I do. I believe Slezak can do anything as, well, she's Slezak. And there's no more that needs to be said.
What I will say is anything she feels she can do "improve" Y&R will surely kill it and leave some great talent for Valentini. There's plenty from his own show and AMC but why not add some? I'm sure she'll dump Darnell and Debbie as they are not only old but people of color. And are spectacular actors with substance. There's no need for them there. Besides, their characters suck. That we can all agree on. I'm sure Angie and Jesse could come to Port Charles and straighten out some of this crap!!! They have a police force and a hospital after all.
So, Viva La Phelps and good luck at Y&R!! I won't be watching and you don't mind. Just take your talentless lumps with you. And let the Chubby Fangurl in Leopard Print, the Bloated Cyborg, and the Stubby Mobster work their magic over there. The Trio of Terror are done on ABC. They've had their day. Let CBS have them. It's their turn to see the "magic" of nothingness work the ratings.
But hands off Tracy. She's ours!!
Monday, August 20, 2012
Ten Things I Enjoyed More Than Watching GH Today: Danger, Will Robinson!
Now, I have to explain something before I start. I have a job that allows me to not work on campus from Memorial Day to Labor Day. Therefore, since I essentially never left Academia, I have been off every summer, well, forever. I mean I work online or do other things, but I basically can go where I want every summer.Every summer since 1967, I went to "Harbor Country" in Northwest Indiana/ Southwest Michigan, about an hour fifteen from Chicago. I've spent every summer of my life here:
Today, I was on the edge. It wasn't a million degress. Blair was gone. So I had a choice. Go out to the "country", a mere hour from the Loop, or watch Valentini's show....no contest! So, here's my entry for the day: Ten Things I Enjoyed Today More than Watching the Suckfest Called GH:
1. Driving Over the Skyway Bridge:
There's a relief you feel when you now that the stress of reality is gone for a time and you're headed on vacation. You know it. It's the "ah" factor. My momnet for that is when I go over the Skyway Bridge between Chicago and head over the border to "lovely" Hammond Indiana. Truly a nauseating sight for the unaware. For me, and many others, it's like hearing the wail of the Harpies as they beckon you forward.
Today, as I headed East, I picked up the phone and called my friend, Phoebe, to share the moment. I told her I was going over the bridge and she responded as she always does. "Bitch!" That means "I'm so happy for you and wish I were with you, as well". It's just said in another way.
2. Driving Through Gary, Indiana on the Indiana Toll Road
Yeah, I said it!!! Who wants to know??? Gary, that's right, the most depressing, empty, smelly, burned out city on the planet. Gary makes Flint or Detroit look like Paris. It's always been the spot where my mother would say, "roll up the windows, kids" as the smell in my childhood was overwhelming. The orange sky, the stench of spoiled eggs, the black soot coming out of the smokestacks, highlighted with the open flame, of the Steel Mills, all reminding us we had to get through the bad part to get to the good.
Now, it's not as smelly but just as ugly. And, as I age, I must admit I almost miss the stench and the wails of tortured children in backseats of station wagons as they drove by. I almost miss my father's threats of "If you don't stop fighting. I'm going to light a cigar" and I always wondered if opening the window may not be as bad. But, rather than tempt fate, we'd stop fighting.
3. Driving Down Route 12 Headed into Town
It may not look like much but it's the first sign of home. And I was pleased that the people on the street were all smiling and happy and not nauseating harpies and thugs. Plain old Indiana folks and Chicago implants. Not a boxing ring in sight.
4. Paying less than $4 for Gas at the BP on Franklin
I hate gas stations and I hate spending a lot for gas. So, saving $.50 a gallon on gas was a pleasure. How happy I was that I didn't stay home, watch GH and work. I got such a deal on gas!!!
5. Going to the Beach
Okay, I'm bragging. I know it. My beach rocks!!! And it's Indiana. I went to Laguna recently and said "Yeah, it's nice, but it's not as nice as my beach." Call me crazy but I'll take it over any other. And can you believe it's in Indiana?????
Once again, just showing how sunny and nice it is. Unlike GH which is dark, dismal, and depressing. Tell me, Frank, why would I go inside to get depressed and watch that drab show when I could be here?
See this path, Frank? I used to walk up that path every day around Noon and watch AMC and OLTL. It was a pleasure and really broke up my day. Know what I didn't do today? Well, I did walk up that path but it wasn't to watch your show. Know why? It sucks!!!
6. Meeting my Friend, the Realtor, and Arguing About My Latest Offer
Okay, I'm one of those people who likes to get a deal but also wants to get what they want. If I don't get what I want, I'll walk. But I want it on my terms. So, I'm shopping for a new house. I made an offer. It wasn't accepted. I'm not pleased. I don't get why 25% of the asking price isn't acceptable? Haven't they seen the market tank? I go to the office and argue with my realtor, who I've known since I was six months old. That, Frank, was more fun than watching your show.
BTW, both my realtor and I are sure we'll get the house in the Fall. It's a matter of waiting....get it?
7. Going to the Bank to Kiss Ass
I hate bankers. I hate big bankers. I am a Frank Capra fan. However, today, after arguing with my realtor, I went to the bank- this is one of them- and kissed as much ass as I could. I was so disgustingly charming, I made myself sick. I was trained by Adam Chandler, after all. No amount of watching GH prepared me for that- know why? No one's charming or smart. Just depressing, dull, and boring.
8. Going to my Grocery Store
Everyone has the old standby they love. I love my beach, my town, and my grocery store. I just do. It rocks. I know all the people and where everything is and they have a great, clean bathroom. Now that's important. I would usually go to this grocery store after I watched OLTL and had been to the beach. Now, I went to the beach and went to the grocery store....what didn't I do? Guess...
9. Going to Pick Blueberries
Everyone has things they enjoy that maybe others don't. I enjoy driving down Route12 into Michigan to 1000N to the blueberry farm with really loud, obnoxious music playing. I prefer silly Southern Rock in this instance, like The Allman Brothers, or go another route with some Mellencamp- it is Indiana, after all. I am determined to paint my new house pink for just that reason! But, again, I digress. I've gone to this blueberry farm to pick since I was a kid and my sisters and cousins would throw blueberries at one another and my aunt would yell at them. I was different. I was focused and clear and had a job to do.
Stateline Blueberry Farm, if I can shamelessly pimp them, is a vital part of the summer experience. The owners are nice and the fields are clear and the fruit kicks ass!! It's almost like being in the country...which I guess it is. But it's really being at the beach and the city at the same time. So much fun, so little time. Yet, look, there's more now that I don't have to watch soap operas...
10. Heading back Down Route 12 with a Tan, XTC, and a Cooler of Bonnie Doon and Blueberries
So, my day is about done and I've got a nice tan, a carload of blueberries, and I'm listening to obnoxiously loud music as I head out. I realize as I'm heading into Gary that I smell that really rancid air from the Steel Mills and look at the clock. It's 2:00, GH is on. I knew that smell was familiar....
At the grocery store, I picked up a few half gallons of Bonnie Doon ice cream- made in Indiana for Indiana. I can't get it anywhere else. I have to have it ionce or twice a year as it's what I always had. Peppermint Stick, with the little pieces of green and pink candy pieces just like they had in the 1970's, and some Blue Moon.
You seen, Frank, what I mean here is that today I spent my day doing the things I love and have loved all my life. Forever, your shows were a a part of that. I made time for them. I worked them into the schedule. They were something that just "was", like my beach that doesn't change or the blueberries or the grocery store that only gets better but I still know the cashiers. It's like my realtor who I've known forever and still can be annoying and irritating, but I love him. I still go back to him when he tries to step me up and double-talks me. Know why? I love him. He's my dude. Get it?
Like my new house, Frank, I'm waiting. I know I'll get it but it takes patience and perseverance and I'll hate it when it's under construction and I'll curse everyone.But, know what? It'll be worth it. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. But, remember, like Bonnie Doon, if you change it too much, I'll find a new brand. I'm stubborn- I want what I want how I want. If not.....
Well, there's a lot of houses out there and it's a crappy market. And as I proved today, television doesn't have to be part of my day. Tread lightly, Dude, as the sign at the Blueberry Farm warned.....
Danger, Frank Valentini, you're on thin ice. And that's a whole shed full of explosive insecticides!!
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Posted By Addison Dewitt to Addison Speaks!at 7/20/2012 06:53:00 PM
Today, I was on the edge. It wasn't a million degress. Blair was gone. So I had a choice. Go out to the "country", a mere hour from the Loop, or watch Valentini's show....no contest! So, here's my entry for the day: Ten Things I Enjoyed Today More than Watching the Suckfest Called GH:
1. Driving Over the Skyway Bridge:
There's a relief you feel when you now that the stress of reality is gone for a time and you're headed on vacation. You know it. It's the "ah" factor. My momnet for that is when I go over the Skyway Bridge between Chicago and head over the border to "lovely" Hammond Indiana. Truly a nauseating sight for the unaware. For me, and many others, it's like hearing the wail of the Harpies as they beckon you forward.
Today, as I headed East, I picked up the phone and called my friend, Phoebe, to share the moment. I told her I was going over the bridge and she responded as she always does. "Bitch!" That means "I'm so happy for you and wish I were with you, as well". It's just said in another way.
2. Driving Through Gary, Indiana on the Indiana Toll Road
Yeah, I said it!!! Who wants to know??? Gary, that's right, the most depressing, empty, smelly, burned out city on the planet. Gary makes Flint or Detroit look like Paris. It's always been the spot where my mother would say, "roll up the windows, kids" as the smell in my childhood was overwhelming. The orange sky, the stench of spoiled eggs, the black soot coming out of the smokestacks, highlighted with the open flame, of the Steel Mills, all reminding us we had to get through the bad part to get to the good.
Now, it's not as smelly but just as ugly. And, as I age, I must admit I almost miss the stench and the wails of tortured children in backseats of station wagons as they drove by. I almost miss my father's threats of "If you don't stop fighting. I'm going to light a cigar" and I always wondered if opening the window may not be as bad. But, rather than tempt fate, we'd stop fighting.
3. Driving Down Route 12 Headed into Town
It may not look like much but it's the first sign of home. And I was pleased that the people on the street were all smiling and happy and not nauseating harpies and thugs. Plain old Indiana folks and Chicago implants. Not a boxing ring in sight.
 |
4. Paying less than $4 for Gas at the BP on Franklin
5. Going to the Beach
 |
| Not Me but Mini-Me In All Her Fabulosity |
 |
| The View From Lake Shore Drive |
Once again, just showing how sunny and nice it is. Unlike GH which is dark, dismal, and depressing. Tell me, Frank, why would I go inside to get depressed and watch that drab show when I could be here?
See this path, Frank? I used to walk up that path every day around Noon and watch AMC and OLTL. It was a pleasure and really broke up my day. Know what I didn't do today? Well, I did walk up that path but it wasn't to watch your show. Know why? It sucks!!!
 |
| The Path |
Okay, I'm one of those people who likes to get a deal but also wants to get what they want. If I don't get what I want, I'll walk. But I want it on my terms. So, I'm shopping for a new house. I made an offer. It wasn't accepted. I'm not pleased. I don't get why 25% of the asking price isn't acceptable? Haven't they seen the market tank? I go to the office and argue with my realtor, who I've known since I was six months old. That, Frank, was more fun than watching your show.
BTW, both my realtor and I are sure we'll get the house in the Fall. It's a matter of waiting....get it?
7. Going to the Bank to Kiss Ass
I hate bankers. I hate big bankers. I am a Frank Capra fan. However, today, after arguing with my realtor, I went to the bank- this is one of them- and kissed as much ass as I could. I was so disgustingly charming, I made myself sick. I was trained by Adam Chandler, after all. No amount of watching GH prepared me for that- know why? No one's charming or smart. Just depressing, dull, and boring.
8. Going to my Grocery Store
Everyone has the old standby they love. I love my beach, my town, and my grocery store. I just do. It rocks. I know all the people and where everything is and they have a great, clean bathroom. Now that's important. I would usually go to this grocery store after I watched OLTL and had been to the beach. Now, I went to the beach and went to the grocery store....what didn't I do? Guess...
9. Going to Pick Blueberries
Everyone has things they enjoy that maybe others don't. I enjoy driving down Route12 into Michigan to 1000N to the blueberry farm with really loud, obnoxious music playing. I prefer silly Southern Rock in this instance, like The Allman Brothers, or go another route with some Mellencamp- it is Indiana, after all. I am determined to paint my new house pink for just that reason! But, again, I digress. I've gone to this blueberry farm to pick since I was a kid and my sisters and cousins would throw blueberries at one another and my aunt would yell at them. I was different. I was focused and clear and had a job to do.
Stateline Blueberry Farm, if I can shamelessly pimp them, is a vital part of the summer experience. The owners are nice and the fields are clear and the fruit kicks ass!! It's almost like being in the country...which I guess it is. But it's really being at the beach and the city at the same time. So much fun, so little time. Yet, look, there's more now that I don't have to watch soap operas...
10. Heading back Down Route 12 with a Tan, XTC, and a Cooler of Bonnie Doon and Blueberries
So, my day is about done and I've got a nice tan, a carload of blueberries, and I'm listening to obnoxiously loud music as I head out. I realize as I'm heading into Gary that I smell that really rancid air from the Steel Mills and look at the clock. It's 2:00, GH is on. I knew that smell was familiar....
At the grocery store, I picked up a few half gallons of Bonnie Doon ice cream- made in Indiana for Indiana. I can't get it anywhere else. I have to have it ionce or twice a year as it's what I always had. Peppermint Stick, with the little pieces of green and pink candy pieces just like they had in the 1970's, and some Blue Moon.
 | ||
| Bonnie Doon Peppermint Stick |
Like my new house, Frank, I'm waiting. I know I'll get it but it takes patience and perseverance and I'll hate it when it's under construction and I'll curse everyone.But, know what? It'll be worth it. Anything worth having is worth waiting for. But, remember, like Bonnie Doon, if you change it too much, I'll find a new brand. I'm stubborn- I want what I want how I want. If not.....
Well, there's a lot of houses out there and it's a crappy market. And as I proved today, television doesn't have to be part of my day. Tread lightly, Dude, as the sign at the Blueberry Farm warned.....
--
Posted By Addison Dewitt to Addison Speaks!at 7/20/2012 06:53:00 PM
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