Rebooting: What Did It All Mean? What the Soap Opera Was About and What We're Losing: Family

I'm rebooting this from last year as it seems relevant with the potential reboot of AMC and, hopefully, OLTL.  Let's hope this is what we get:

I'm having a particularly difficult time this week, so I thought it might be the right time to be reflective.  I'm not sure what everyone else will think, but I do truly believe that this genre we all seem to love is in its final stages.  And, as it limps to its death, I think it would be particularly fitting to give it a eulogy, so here goes.  Part One.  What made soap operas mean something? There are so many things but let's start at the beginning.  The family.

The essential element of the form is the importance of the family.  It began as the center and, as the shows evolved, it receded into the background.  But it was always there. If it wasn't the shows were lost. I'm looking at you, GH.  Getting rid of the Quartermaines and the Webbers was the death knell, it would seem. What they did to the nice, Stepdad Rick Webber who loved Leslie is reprehensible.  But, that's what they think of family, I suppose.

I take this topic most to heart as my love for soap operas is all wrapped up in memories of my family and always will be.  I grew up watching All My Children and One Life to Live.  My cousins and my mother and my aunt and my sisters, we all watched together.  We would spend every summer at the beach and at Noon, we all went up to the house to eat lunch, watch AMC, and- in the middle of OLTL- our food would be "digested" and we could go back and swim in Lake Michigan and play in the dunes. Soaps were a part of our wonderful summer experience and something we shared forever. We would talk about Erica Kane at Thanksgiving.  The only thing my sister and I had in common as we grew up was AMC and it even now, although we're estranged, I wish I could call her and talk to her about what Tad did today.  My cousins babysat me and made me watch Dark Shadows and scared the living hell out me. But, to be honest, I liked getting their attention. It made me feel as if I was part of the "cool" older crowd.  Even though I was the one crying!

You see, soaps are all about families.  In terms of how we watched them, they were handed down from generation to generation.  It was a way we spent our time together. It gave us touchstones to communicate with each other.  We could all find something we had in common even when there was nothing else.  There was always the characters on the show.

Soaps needed families watching to remain vital over time but they also needed the families on the shows to maintain their connection with that audience.  Traditionally, soaps were centered on strong family ties.  For example, All My Children was about the Martins and the Tylers.  They were strong families, like the Martins, or fractured, like the Tylers.  The Martins were the quintessential soap family to me.  I loved each of them for various reasons. I remember loving Tara and Jeff but I was so young, I wasn't connected to them.  I was more aware of the secondary tier, meaning Tad and Joey/Jake.  It was when Tad became a Martin that I was fully aware of what family meant.

Joe and Ruth Martin, as well as Gran, Kate, were a tight family but not in the sappy sense.  They fought and strayed and questioned one another, but they were a family.  They were far from perfect.  I remember loving Ruth's devotion to Tad, even though he wasn't her biological son, and not very "Martin" in the moral sense.

Yet, as the years wore on, I became so enamored with the Tad and Joe relationship. Although I would argue that Michael E Knight could have chemistry with a lamp post, his scenes with Ray MacDonnell as Joe were some of the most tender moments ever seen on that show.  They were so real and I'd like to think they were based in a real life affection, but I don't know about that.  The loving scenes with Tad and Kate, where she taught him what it meant to be in a family, still make me cry.

At one point, AMC did family better than anyone.  They weren't like P&G soaps where the families were more sappy or at odds.  AMC had what I thought were "real" families.  The only scenes I ever enjoyed with Erica were with her mother and it was with Frances Heflin that Erica became likable and real to me.  She was a nasty piece of work to her mother and Mona's aggravation with the girl was something we all can understand.  But the genuine, unconditional love was there, as well.  And Lucci's only really good scenes, in my opinion, were when she was with Heflin or spoke of her after Mona's death.  She was one character who really showed how even though you're an obnoxious child, you will always need and love your mother.

Brooke's relationship with Aunt Phoebe was touching, as well.  Ruth Warrick and Julia Barr had a wonderful rapport and the show made Phoebe softer with Brooke than she had been with her children, Anne and Chuck.  She showed Brooke more kindness, as she'd mellowed as she aged, and Brooke returned the affection.  Even though not her child, Phoebe's love for her "Benjamin", her driver, was almost as special.  The way he treated the "Duchess" with love yet layered with disdain was perfect as he made her human and down to earth. 

There are too many family moments to mention them all.  Even in later years, Knight and Ricky Paul Golden's wonderful Tad/Jake relationship made their scenes work, even with the craptastic material.  The relaxed rapport they shared was how I would want all brothers to act with one another, loving yet strong and always enjoying each other.

 I never got the "Kane Women" thing, as it seemed like a cheap rip-off of the Cramer Women on OLTL.  The Cramers, which was how I saw the women in my family centered around a large group of females, were always troubled.  Like us, they each had their "ideas" and "issues", but when push came to shove, you'd like to think they loved one another and would be supportive- even under protest.  But there are moments.....

I've waxed poetic about the Todd/Viki relationship on OLTL, so I don't feel the need to go there again. Yet the last scenes with them and Tina made me smile uncontrollably, as they were such a real family. Todd and Tina were being children and Viki, the put upon older sister, mitigating the childish behavior of the siblings, was not only real, but fun.

Yet Tina coming through for Todd at the end made it all seem okay and it made me mad that I never got more Evans/Howarth interaction as it flowed so easily.
 
But rather than focus on the battling Lords/Mannings, I'll mention that no one did family better than Robert S. Woods as Bo Buchanan.  His scenes with Clint and Asa were always about affection and exasperation and love and hatred to some extent.  But under it all, we saw that they were a family who tried to understand even when it wasn't possible.  Although I was not a Richie fan and I could take or leave Phil Carey, I could see the family issues on Bo's face always, as he tried to understand his father and, later, his brother.  He was the heart and soul of the Buchanans and you don't get a better 'good' guy than Bo Buchanan.  He puts the rest to shame.

You see, that's what soap operas are about- finding love and understanding in your family. That's what they are based on and why we watch them.  We may not have that in our real life, but we want it in our "reel" life.  We want to see them fight and lash out and then, in the end, be there for one another.  We want to see Tad lean on Jake and Todd fall into Viki's understanding embrace.  We want to see Blair and Kelly try to make sense of what they have together and work out their "issues".  We want to see Erica talk to her mother and ask her for advice, even when she can no longer answer. 

You see, many people we love are no longer here or they've disappeared or let us down.  But mostly, soaps were always there. They were a constant in our lives.  You see, I come from an Alzheimer's family and I watch people I love slowly disappear while still in standing in front of me.  I've learned that nothing is forever as people can fade away even while they're still physically present, without you even realizing it's happening.  Yet soaps, a tangential family member, would still be there. And still be the same. I may be losing my aunt and my mother, but I still had something familiar from my past.  Until I didn't.

Losing the family focus made shows go astray.  They lacked a center and without that structure, they fell apart.  GH is the best example.  There is no real stable "home" on the show.  There is nothing you look at and say "that's GH" as we looked at Viki or Bo or Tad or Erica.  There is no one left.  What we don't have in real life, we want in our fantasy life.  And if I'm losing my mother and aunt and my cousins and my sisters, I still want Viki.  But if Sonny or Jason or Carly is all you have to offer, forget it.  I'd rather have nothing. They're disgusting and no family I'd ever want.

When I was in college, I wrote a paper for a pop culture class that said that I often watched The Brady Bunch because it reminded me that I existed.  That's the point.  Soaps are about relationships and love and who we are.  We grew up with them and the families become part of our families.  Without those soap families, it's all strangers.  And, in the end, we don't exist in that world.  And it's all gone.  Except for the memories.  Let's hope we can keep them.

Soap Opera's Greatest Characters: The Brilliant Egomaniac- David Hayward

So Carlivati said that they know fans want to see old AMC characters but they won't use them unless there's a reason.  Normally, I believe nothing that comes out of his mouth.  So, there's no reason to do this, but what the hell.  There may be some room on the last ABC show for some AMC characters before they cancel it, so just fire more of the GH cast and fill it up with interesting characters played by people who can act.   So, here's my first choice for merciless pimping:  The Man, the Legend, you know him, you love him, you can't live without him,  Dr. David Hayward!

There are some characters who are unwatchable. They're just awful.  In my mind, Greenlee Smythe was one of those characters.  Ryan Lavery, as well.  However, when truly wonderful characters played by great actors show up in the scenes with them, they become not only watchable, but not irritating, which is quite a feat.  Such was the case with the man above.  David Hayward, played by the spectacular Vincent Irizarry, made these two useless characters surprisingly not annoying.  In fact, for a moment here, I almost liked Greenlee! Now, that's an actor!

David Hayward, brilliant physician, demented scholar, and shockingly out of control egomaniac, was not only one of the most interesting characters ever on daytime, he was also one of the most enduring.  He was fun and smart and obnoxious and self-aware and kind and interesting and, more than anything, a real kick in the pants!  And, among others, I really miss him.  I doubt we'll see anyone so complex again.  We should be so lucky to have one half as good.

I  remember when he first strolled into town and he was downright evil.  Funny, he was involved in the Ryan/Gillian romance then.  Ryan was not irritating at first.  Gillian, another great character, made him seem interesting and charming.  Obviously, she was masking his really dull personality and pomposity.  At any rate, David was blackmailing Gillian about something and trying to make her sleep with him. I don’t really remember but I remember thinking he was so cute and funny and mean and I loved him.

He was, of course, punished but I don’t remember how or why, but he remained on the show, so he must have been punished. This was AMC, not GH, so the bad guy went down eventually, he just always came back. Excuse the double entendre there. I always thought certain characters would be adept in certain  sexual areas and all the bad guys I liked, well, they’d go downtown regularly.  David, for sure, Adam, yes, Todd, no doubt.  Sorry, I got sidetracked there………….

But I have to admit I became a silly, blushing David fangurl when he fell in love with Dixie. I loved me some Tad and Dixie back in the day but David was SO in love, I couldn’t believe I was rooting for him over my long time boyfriend, Tad.  Yet, there I was- hoping Dixie would dump Tad the No Longer Cad for Doctor Dave the Devil.  He was so adoring and sweet and Dixie was so much less dull with him.  I should have known that she’d be pissed about him drugging the town with Libidozone.  What an uptight bitch!! I thought it was funny and would have been complimented that he would go to such extremes for me.  Blair would think so, too. I bet David could give Todd a run for his money.  Not sure I would side with Todd because, well, I'm David's bitch.  But, I digress, yet again.  Alas,  Dixie failed to see his love shining through the crazy act.  She was pissed. Back to the Martins for her!


I know everyone hated that story but I loved it. I thought drugging the town was so much fun and everyone losing inhibitions and such was so damn hysterical, I couldn’t take it.  See, that’s why I loved David. He was not a sociopath, he was, well, different. He had different ideas than other people.  He justified his anti-social deeds with his contributions to science, which were quite substantial.  He was saving the world in some ways, so he should be able to play crazy mad scientist.  He was so convincing of that point, I agreed with him.  That’s David.  In a crazy way, he made a lot of sense.

I think a lot of it may have been Irizarry who I think walks on water, really, and no offense to him as I hear he’s very religious, but I  love him anyway!  He’s a great actor who understood his character and could make him sympathetic and lovable while also emphasizing he was a fucking megalomaniac. He knew how to make David bad, but not evil.  He made him stand apart from the self-righteous Martins, as he called them, and be the town pariah, but the brilliant town pariah.  And, personally, there’s nothing hotter.  And, let’s be honest, there’s nothing wrong with the man’s looks….nothing….really, I mean, like nothing.  He’s very, let’s say, appealing to me physically. Yeah, that’s it.

David, unlike the men discussed in the “bad boy” discussion, is not someone who hated women or preyed on them. In fact, I think David loved women.  He really didn’t like men- and I think that’s what makes him successful as a soap bad guy. He’s subverting the patriarchal order in some ways as he’s a man who shuns and manipulates people but mostly other men.  He respects women, in his own way, and I especially want to point out his relationship with Greenlee, his Mother, and Angie as the show closed.  All three of these relationships show his ability to not only love women but respect the role of women in the world- in a twisted, David way, of course.

When I mention his relationship with Greenlee, I mean his original relationship with her, not the sick one created near the end of the show after it ceased to be AMC anymore.  That doesn’t count.  But, originally, Greenlee was his sister-in-law as she was married to Leo, played to the hilt by the never again so charming, Josh Duhamel.  Who’d think that his best role was Leo?  Alas, it was. I never liked him again but Leo was all kinds of fabulous.  At any rate, David’s only significant male relationship was with Leo. It was so touching and sweet and showed that he could truly love someone completely and unconditionally as he loved Leo.  And, as she made Leo happy, he loved Greenlee.  AMC made the relationship between lost Greenlee and angry David, after Leo’s death, so touching that it made me love David even more.  And I could look at Greenlee without feeling nauseous. Shocker!

It wasn’t sexual at all. It was brotherly and caring. They clung to one another as they both lost the kind soul that made them want to be better people.  David, of course, made Greenlee more appealing to me, as he did with almost everyone who crossed his path.  But the tenderness in his voice when he spoke to her, the way he protected her, and the way he reached out to her as a way to keep Leo with him was truly touching.  Again, Irizarry and the old writers making the bad guy not so bad underneath, and understandable.  I detested what they did to that relationship as the show closed, so I decided to ignore it completely!  Poof- never happened!

The way David dealt with his mother also showed us so much about his potential for love and explained his character. His mother, evil, selfish, manipulative, and a criminal, was not nice.  How’s that for describing her?  David blamed her for the death of his father, another brilliant doctor.  Yet in his hatred, you could see that it was born out of pain and an understanding of what real love is about and how family should be, not how she was.  Marj Dusay played Vanessa perfectly as a vapid, vain socialite who turns out to be a criminal- stupid plot twist- but I thought that David’s disdain for her really explained him as a complex character. He was desperate for love and longed for compassion and understanding as he never got that from his mother. He was resentful and hateful toward her, as he should have been, but it gave us insight into why he could be so manipulative and callous to others.  He was hurt and taught to lash out as a way to protect himself.  Yet he was also coming from a fucked up moral universe that made almost anything seem okay.  The family dynamic was wonderful between Duhamel, Dusay, and Irizarry, and losing that was a real blow for AMC, IMO.  They were all kinds of wonderful.

As the show closed, it was a shell of its former self.  So much so, that I could hardly get through an episode.  That was almost impossible for me to imagine as I’d watched AMC all my life and it represented so much more to me than just a TV show. But, that’s another blog for another day.  The only thing that made the show watchable at all was David and Angie, IMO, and that was one story that they made work. I’d like to think it was all Lorraine Broderick’s doing, but I can’t be sure. But I’m thinking that because, well, I can, so I do!

Angie and David were perfect foils and it was appropriate that David would again be brought down by a woman as all the good soap bad guys must.  But I loved the way they turned it at the end, as he was the one to save her sight and she had to trust in his genius as he was her only hope.  Two great actors, of course, but the way they had  Angie, the strongest, smartest, really, the best female character left on screen at the end, be forced to give herself over to David's care, made it all so poignant.  She had to admit that even though he could be evil in some ways, he was one thing really- a brilliant doctor who took the Hippocratic Oath seriously, well, in his own way!

It was wonderful as she slowly began to see that David was not just a bad man who’s a good doctor, but a man with the potential for greatness that was hindered by selfishness, fear, and arrogance.  He was truly a healer but would get sidetracked by his own needs.  It was as if when she lost her physical ability to see that she saw him for the first time.  He was big bad David, but he was also good doctor David, who, in issues of life and death, could be trusted.  When her sight was restored, she saw differently than she ever had before. She saw David as a man, not a caricature.  He was not the cartoon villain the years of terrible writing tried to make him.  He was just David, misunderstood, with a completely anti-social moral code by which he lived.

That’s the point, I think.  David, unlike so many characters created now, was truly grey.  He was not a good man all the time and was often downright bad.  But even when horrible writing tried to paint him as a mustache twirling villain, he was played with understanding by Irizarry.  We could see beyond the surface of the deeds down to the human underneath.  And that’s what made him special and interesting and relatable.  He was just a man, after all, who wasn’t necessarily a good man.  But he was capable of good things.  And, although he was often bad, he was a savior when it mattered.  And, really, what else can you ask for?

Oh, and by the way, he was always really sexy.  Did I mention that?? Okay, so I'm human, too, what can you do?

Truth and Consequences at GH: If They Say It's True, You Can Bet It's a Lie

Let the GH games continue as this show comes to a close. OMG, it's more interesting than the show, at least more exciting, that's for sure. I noticed that there's some big controversy over who's in, who's out, when, where, how, and- most interesting- why.  There's only one thing I know for sure at this point in time. In my experience in studying and adoring daytime television, there's one sure way to know when TPTB are lying.  Their mouths move.

Never have I seen so many people tell so many lies to their customers.  In retail, that's not acceptable.  I worked at Marshall Field's every time I was out of work.  It was really fun when I had a graduate degree and was behind the counter in intimate apparel- only not.  I got reprimanded for reading a book, by the way.  At any rate, in retail, we were told that the customer was always right.  Even when they were wrong.  In academia, lying to a student is verboten.  It's well, bad, and we aren't supposed to do it, as it always comes back to bite you in the ass.  Those little bastards never forget anything.  Denial works well there, though.  No one believes students. I mean, come on, it's students for God's sake.  They'll say anything to save their ass.

Anyway, it seems to be par for the course that if you're a network executive, you must lie often and regularly.  It must be something they teach in "network school", ya know, like "McDonalds University". This is where the highfalutin' nimrods learn to "exec" in the appropriate way.  As Brian Frons said of the audience, they need to be "trained".  I see a big room with small chairs and a lot of crayons.  If someone is too smart, they are put in the corner and told to watch "The View" until they lose at least ten IQ points.  That doesn't take long!  I feel like I just lost a point or two just thinking about it.  Hasselbeck must be in the negatives by now.  She's her own biggest fan and I'm sure she watches herself everyday.  No one else could stand it.

So, the net was abuzz with "he's fired", "she's fired", "we need to save his job", and so on and so on and so on.  Here's the rumors I heard so far:

Laura Wright is being replaced by either of the former Carly actresses
The guy who plays Johnny is out
The guy who plays Anthony is out
The guy who plays Ewen in out
The guy who plays Dante is out
The guy who plays Patrick is out
The guy who used to Shawn Douglas Brady is out

Okay, here's the good news. I don't know who any of these people are with the exception of Carly, so I don't care about them.  And I don't like Carly, so I really don't care about her.  I'd like her to just leave as I resent the "Todd and Carly" rumors, so her leaving works for me.  I do admit the actress seems like a nice woman and I don't want her to be unemployed, but I thank her for her years of service and wish her well in future endeavors.  Now, go and don't let the door hit you on the way out.  And hold it open for Blair as she enters.  Maybe that could be her new job- holding things for Blair!!

As I've said many times, all the GH cast can go, IMO.  I don't really care except for one thing.  The GH fans are buying the spin.  All I can say is this:  DON'T!!!!  Don't believe them.  Not even a little.  They lie. They lie all the time.  They lie to their friends.  They lie to one another.  Hell, they tell the actors to lie to the fans.  They lie to the actors, too, so the actors may be lying to the fans and not even know it.  In other words, to quote my beloved Al Franken, former member of "The Franken and Davis Show" on SNL, Stewart Smiley, Liberal Talk Show Host, and now Senator from Minnesota, they're Lying Liars Who Lie.  And they also may be "Big Fat Idiots", as well. We're not sure about that.

This is all I can say.  It's not true if they say it.  Here's a few examples I remember.  "Jenn Rappaport goes out in a fun way"- she was brutally murdered.  "Todd" was being executed and St. John did an exit interview.  Lozano's Tea was dying and she did an exit interview.  They were finishing the Two Todds off-screen.  They're bringing the Mannings to Port Charles.............well, I'm giving them another month to prove that's not true.  We can live in hope, huh?

I see people buying into the lies and I want to throttle them.  STOP!! Don't believe them.  Here's a big lie- "GH will see it's 50th anniversary".  That's one of the biggest lies of them all.  Besides Valentini saying he's trying to save GH.  Now, that's the worst one yet.  We all know that's not possible and he ain't tryin'.  He's gutting it.

At any rate, in a business that calls lies "spin", you need to be able to read between the lines- or the lies, so to speak.  They might say "it's a great show today" when they know it sucks.  That's spin.  But when they say "that man is going nowhere"- read between the lines. That means he's not going somewhere now, not in the immediate future, see how that works?  He's going alright, just not NOW.  In two weeks, possibly, but not now.

There's a famous story about a OLTL actor who heard rumor that his character was being killed off. He went to Valentini and asked him about his status. He was told no such thing was possible and he was safe.  They loved him.  Guess what?  Well, let's just say he was shocked when he read his script to find that his character fell through a skylight to his demise.  What a surprise. He was married to a core character. Whodathunkit?  Maybe Valentini is just out of the loop.  Maybe he felt too bad to tell the guy to his face. Or maybe he's just a big, fat liar. I don't know but I'll tell you one thing.  When the actor took the story public, we never saw him on ABC Daytime again.  And, Kids, that's no lie.

There's only one thing a liar hates more than getting caught. It's being held accountable for that lie.  There's no way to spin that one.  I don't know if any of these rumors are true but I'm sure of one thing.  They're not false yet.  Now, that's spin for you.  And there's a whole lotta people that will need to be let go to pay for the OLTL invasion.  They're not cheap.  And they're coming.  Know who I know? They said they're producing GH, not OLTL.  See how that works?

Burn, Baby, Burn, Soap Opera Inferno! Burn that Mother Down: RIP GH!

The ratings for GH came out and they're more dismal than ever.  Yet although ABC floated some nonsense about how they were cancelling "The Revolution"- shock- and not cancelling GH, this should read "not cancelling it 'as far as you know'".

Now, some applauded their work but really it's that GH had benefited from "The Revolution's" complete and utter failure. It isn't because GH is a good show or improving at all. In fact, the opposite is true.  It's that The Revolution was SO bad, even the idiots at ABC couldn't defend it. What's  behind the "reprieve" is the sound of the Executioner, sharpening his ax. GH is in worse shape than ever.  Just because one loser hits the bricks doesn't mean the one who is just less of a loser will survive.  This show isn't saved!! It's still doomed. It's just not officially doomed....yet. With numbers like this-1.8, 1.7, 1.6. 1.6, etc., you cannot save a behemoth who is taking on more weight every day.  This show will not survive.

You see ABC isn't moving GH to OLTL's, I mean, "The Revolution"'s timeslot....yet. They're adding in a new GMA in the afternoon.  They'll move GH in the Fall, so they say.  HHMMM.  Yeah, that'll happen....only not!!

Here's my prediction for what plays out in the last months of GH on ABC.  It may be wrong, but I kind of don't think so.  There will be no hybrid.  There will be no GH.  There will only be Frank Valentini's vision of what can sell and it won't be anything like this loser that's running now.  It's over, People, GH is done. Plan the wake, Sit Shivah, do whatever, because I'll bet that GH is deader than a damn doornail as we speak.  They just aren't telling anyone! Plan here- quick wrap up of the old show and in with the new. 

Look, Kids, I hate to be the voice of doom here but if you can look beyond the cast and "press" jumping for joy with this "extra" time, you'll see the real result.  There's a good rumor out there that the affiliates will be given a choice soon- GMA in the Aft or GH.  Supposedly, there won't be many takers for the soap.  But "someone" is discussing "potential" syndication for "this" show.  Okay, so now we see the way this will go down, and I don't want to say "I TOLD YOU SO", even though I am one of those types, but I won't say it.  Yet you know I'm thinking it.

There will be no GH soon.  There may be a show NAMED GH, but it won't be this show.  As this show, as I mentioned before, has the Stink of the Loser on it.  And that stink is catching. It can't be gotten rid of with a nice paycheck to Easton and Howarth. Oh, no.  You need to bring in the big guns.  A DePaiva, a Slezak, a Woods, a JVD, and so on.  You need your old show, Dudes, not your hybrid bullshit.  You don't have time.  You need to simply wipe the cast and stories clean and blow it all away.  Start fresh. Burn this mother down!!! It's time for a soap opera inferno and all you need to do is light the match.

Forget the sequel.  Bring back the original.  You need OLTL in total. You know, the one with 2.1 numbers.  Yeah, the one those idiots cancelled for no apparent reason to leave you with this dog.  That one.  The one with the loyal audience who put up with your camp and your crap and your bullshit musical guests.  Yeah, that one.  You need it now or it may be too late.  We'll sit through Starr singing because we watched her grow up and she's like our kid.  So, her singing to us is like being a parent and going to the Spring Musical at the middle school and being proud of your kid for trying so hard even though they're going through the "awkward stage"!! No one else will. It's a voice only a parent or long term audience member would "love". Or sit through.

A week ago or so, there was another rumor floating around about a OLTL Reunion Show being on the table.  It seemed ludicrous at the time, but now I get it.  It wouldn't be a "reunion" so to speak.  Hell, the show's only been off the air for a few months!!  It would be a reminder and a rehearsal for "OLTL in LA" and in syndication.  It would be a way to show the affils and the potential syndicators what they could do.  Now, with this syndication rumor, I completely understand. I've been saying for months that GH is simply a stage for Valentini to put on his show until he gets another, permanent home.  And, lookie there, here it is.

He couldn't bring it all in at once, so he brought in what he thought he had to.  Easton and Howarth, in their minds, were both employable elsewhere, so they needed to be tied down immediately.  Alderson was probably cheap and she's a Manning, so that could be used to bring in Todd when Howarth felt like showing up.  She was a placeholder for him and entry on the show.  They dangled enough in front of DePaiva to make her turn down other work. Those were the principals, I guess. They needed to keep people on ice until they could figure something out.

They panicked with the anger and backlash and cut DePaiva loose to appear to not be overstepping. That backfired completely!!They pissed off everyone- those they wanted to woo and those they thought would come over.  They didn't calculate her power or the anger of the audience.  Now, they have angry GH fans and angry OLTL fans. And it's a mess.  They need to work quickly and sacrifice something.  And, let's be honest, we all know what that will be.

It's probably all playing out now. Valentini can't sell this beast.  But, he might be able to sell his show that tied for #2 quite often.  That, I would say, would be at least possible. They're bringing in Lozano for their Two Todds fantasy, complete with the rest, I'm sure, already on board. They can't leave out DePaiva as there will probably be rioting in the streets.  Don't screw with her, Fellas, she's got an army behind her!! This ain't her first time at the rodeo, ya know. They'll wipe out most of the GH's time with the Two Todds, II, to show how successful that show can be.

They'll take the last summer GH has and use it to sell their vision.  They will, as I said before, throw GH's history, cast, and fans under the bus to keep their show alive.  A dirty trick, yes, but these guys cut their teeth at ABC and dirty tricks seem to be par for the course.  They got screwed.  Now, they'll screw someone else to save themselves.  That's life in Alphabet City.  Winners win and losers die.  And GH is proving itself to be a real loser.  Oh, how the mighty have fallen.  And what a loser it is.

I may be wrong. I may be completely wrong and I'll admit it openly. I've been wrong often and don't mind it. But I don't think I am as everything I've been saying seems to be happening.  I always said that when we saw Slezak in Port Charles, it was on.  Well, rumor has it she's on her way.  And, let's be honest, it may be a nasty trick on GH fans, but isn't everyone's life a little better with Viki in it?  I know mine is.



 

Soap Opera's Greatest Characters- The Beloved Heroine Who is Also Cool as Hell- Victoria Lord!!

I must admit that I am a fangurl.  I've admitted that before, so it's nothing new to those of you that read this collection of ramblings on this dying genre known as the soap opera.  But there is something that should also be clear.  Yes, I'm a silly Todd Manning fangurl, that's true.  And I'm a sucker for those crazy kids Todd and Blair.  Yet, I also am completely and utterly devoted to Viki Lord, let's call her. I know, she's had about a million names, but whatever she's known as, I dig her the most as she's not only classy and smart and appealing, but she's cool as hell.  I'm saying it now.  I want to be Viki when I grow up!!!

Okay, it's a bit late for that. If I'm not grown up now, I'll never be.  But, damn, I want to be like Viki.  And since they took her off my screen, I realize how much I actually liked her.  It's shocking to me, but I miss her.  I really miss her.  I know she's fictional but I miss her!!  I thought I'd miss a lot of characters but it seems that Viki is the one I miss most.  I think it's because Viki represents to me all that this form was at it's best.  Not only was she portrayed so well by Slezak, but she actually seemed to be the ultimate soap female to me. And, with the end of Viki, I knew that what was special about this genre would go with her.  When they made Viki, they broke the mold.  That so cliche but it's true. There are no others like her and I fear there never will be.

Viki had such a long journey that covering the details would be ridiculous.  And yet it wasn't plot points that made Viki special. It was about how she acted out those plot points. I loved the way she was funny and sweet without being saccharine like so many soap matriarchs.  She wasn't a downhome Mommy type like the women on P&G soaps.  She wasn't sassy like others on ABC.  She was real.  Maybe that's it.  Viki was the mother we all wanted. Or the sister.  She was supportive and kind but also could rip you a new one if you deserved it.  She didn't take any crap but she didn't banish you for being an asshole.  She'd let you have it but always let you know she loved you nonetheless.

Maybe it was about her strength. She got through the worst of times and always seemed the better from the experience. She'd been to hell and back and then learned the lesson from it.  Those moments in hell- or heaven?- made her more grounded, not less secure.  She lost her marbles years ago, so maybe all the trauma was "normal" to her.  Really.  I've never seen a soap heroine be truly mentally unstable, except for Viki, but she was also the strongest one.  They always crowed about how strong Erica Kane was, but that was a bunch of crap.  She relied on men constantly whereas most of Viki's journey was on her own.  She made it through by her wits and her determination.  Erica rode on the backs of men and ended dumped and alone.  Viki ended standing tall and proud.  Regal, even, with a man because she chose to be, not because she had to be. 

Yet strong as she was, she was also vulnerable.  She was always letting those damn alters run a muck but she'd make it back.  I was never a fan of her romantic pairings as it seemed that none of the men were as hip as she was.  Except Joe Riley.  I think there may be something to that memory, really.  One of my first soap memories was of Viki and Joe, and I was REALLY young.  But I had a mad crush on Joe and I think Joe and Viki were my first soap "couple".  I can't remember much about them but I know I thought they were cool. Possibly that's why I never really could rally for her subsequent pairings.  I never got over her losing Joe. As much as I loved me some JVD Clint, I was never a Clint fan in the Richie years.  I found him obnoxious and overbearing, and too country for Viki.  Ben?  He was cute but annoying, IMO, although I liked her being allowed to be a cougar.  Strangely enough, I enjoyed Charlie but he was so outrageously weak, I couldn't abide him. I think I loved the actor, as Brian Kerwin so AMAZING, but Charlie was not for Viki at all.

As classy as she was, and as rich, she didn't have a moment's snobbery to her.  I loved Jean Randolph as I saw her as how Viki could have been, demeaning, domineering, and judgmental.  I loved how she degraded Dorian and Todd, it was fun because it wasn't real.  I mean, it wasn't Viki.  But it was how she could have been portrayed, but wasn't.  Viki was open-minded and liberal- not politically, I don't think, but in terms of being available to different viewpoints.  She loved being working class even though she was really anything but.

But the more I talk about Viki, the more I realize that I might be talking about Erika Slezak as much as Viki.  I don't know the woman or anything about her, except that I'm familiar with her father from Warner Brothers movies and I've read some articles with her.  Yet once in a while, I'd see a smile break out on Viki's face that was so endearing, that I think it must have been Slezak. It was so genuine.  I saw it often with Tuc Watkins, as I think she found him amusing.  I saw it with Strasser, as I think she found her as interesting as we all did.  And, especially, I saw it with Howarth, as she looked at him adoringly and the vibe was so sweet, it was almost outrageous.  I swear those two must have been members of the mutual admiration society.

What I'm getting at it is that Viki was a character played by a dynamic, talented, likable actress with heart and soul and integrity and warmth and she wasn't boring- ever.  She was fun and interesting. She was a strong woman who had flaws but could make it in the end.  She taught us that it's okay not be perfect. It's okay to have problems and attack them head on.  And, often, we won't conquer them all successfully, but we'll keep trying.  Viki taught us to love people without judging.  Yet we don't need to accept everything they do, just try to understand.  And, mostly, Viki taught us what it means to be a great soap character.  And, I think, that's what I love about her most.  She was true in every way in a format that's all about being fake and over the top.  Viki, like OLTL, was so real in her fictional form.  She never left character, no matter how outrageous. Even when I thought I saw Slezak shining through, it made sense as she seemed to be Viki in some way.  Or a part of her, at least.  And, in the end, she made it all so fun.  And important.

I'll end with that wonderful monologue written by Scott Sickles as that great show came to an end.  And how fitting that Viki delivered it.  He says it better than me, so here it is.  It still makes me cry thinking about it.

Rumor has it she may be back to visit her brother in Port Charles before that show ends. I can't think of anything more enjoyable and more fitting. Of course she would do that.  You see Viki would never abandon her family.  And in many ways, that includes all of us. She'll come back to make sure we're all okay, as well as Todd. And, in some ways, we all need her as much as he does.

Blame It on the Men! It's About the Women, Stupid, Part Three!!

It's so easy to just blame everything on men, isn't it?  If men run the world, they've screwed it up big time and should be admonished for it. I'm not sure men completely run the world. I've always argued that women have a significant influence on all things but don't do it overtly, which makes them more powerful than even they realize.  At any rate, let's just blame men anyways, as, well, it's easy, it's quite possibly true, and I think it's fun.  So, daytime television is in the toilet because of the men and that's that!!'Nuff said.

But, as you all know, I'm far too long winded to stop there.  I would argue that the men who now control daytime more than ever did run it into the ground with their ideas, their agendas, and their incompetence. I do not for one instance think it was intentional. I think it was true and utter ignorance of the form, the audience, and the cultural implications of their "changes" . If soap operas still were highly profitable, as they'd been in the past, they'd be here and thriving.  I think they are dying as they are no longer highly profitable, so they're going. Yet I do not for one moment believe they were being destroyed on purpose.  Don't give these guys that much credit. They aren't that smart.

So, let's start with their ideas. Soap operas were created for women and, for the most part, by women.  Now, I won't argue the fact that many of those women in the original days had some antiquated notions.  Irna Phillips and Agnes Nixon, to some degree, were pioneers in the field.  Yet they were products of their time.  I wouldn't call them feminists, but I can see if someone wants to argue that they could be designated as such.  At any rate, this form is about women and for women.  Granted, it's expanded and added gay men to the audience pool, but that's not a large segment.  Looking at numbers, it's quite small.  Yet the focus of the programs since the 1990's has shifted almost completely to men.  And that is the problem.  Not only are they now produced by men and focus on the men, but they also are shot from a male perspective- and THAT is the real issue.

Now some argue that this is the problem of some specific shows.  Yes, I'll agree that some are worse offenders than others.  However, they all suffer from this to some extent- even the few written by women, such as Y&R.  I think Victor and Jack are the focus on Y&R, followed by Nick and (ugh) Adam, and looking at how Nikki and Sharon tend to turn into meek little kittens for their men is proof of that.  Nick is adorable but thoroughly repugnant in his sexual politics.  And what they've done to Phyllis is unconscionable!!!

Having men be the center is the major problem, in my opinion. In the previous entry about Blair, I mentioned the ideological notions of women who represented anti-social tendencies to be "punished".  That goes without saying. If the women do not cater the needs of men and the patriarchal order, the genre will definitely punish them.  Yet that's only the beginning.

Those ideological notions are so deeply steeped in our culture that in order to subvert them, there has to be an actual intent to do so.  If one does not even recognize they exist, as many do not as they simply don't think about it, they continue on.  These notions are perpetuated by our current oral culture, mostly being the mass media and soap opera is one of the prevalent forms.  In other words, unless someone says to themselves, "Hey, these stories are sexist and promoting bad things" nothing will change. And it hasn't.  Soap operas, from the beginning, were the one area where this ideology was subverted, but that does not happen any longer.

Centering stories on men who are abusive, men with whom we are continually told to sympathize, men who are criminals and amoral, does go against the form.  Now, these men can be used to promote positive ideas about sexual and gender politics, I would argue, when their attempts to victimize are thwarted and they are punished. But they must be thwarted by women, not other men.  This can reinforce the notion that there is always a struggle between men and women for power and that, in the end, the right side will win- meaning women are shown to be victorious on their own and thus powerful in their own right.  But when those men are NOT made to pay, the process goes astray and confirms patriarchal notions that soap operas have continuously rejected.  When these men are caught by other men, it simply passes the buck, so to speak, to the other guy being in control. And women are left wringing their hands, batting their eyes, and saying "My hero".  That's not a soap opera. 

Sonny and Jason are two of the worst offenders.  GH focusing on two career criminals without making them suffer the consequences of their actions in any real way is the problem. Having their lives be the focus of the program is a shift that, in my opinion, ultimately sank the form.  They are not about women.  They are about men.  And women are watching this show.  They can't relate to these characters or their ideas.  They are, in the vernacular, Thugs!!! Now if they were made to pay and suffer and seek to understand and make amends, that's one thing.  Yet I have yet to see them do that for more than a moment.  They seem to thrive and not be particularly uncomfortable in their own skin.  (See Todd Manning) They have no sense of self-loathing or remorse.  They are, well, Thugs.  

Soap operas aren't about Thugs.  They're about women who help or punish Thugs.  Soap operas are about women who give birth to Thugs and try to understand how to make it all right.  And soap operas are about the women who love the Thugs much to their own chagrin.  In sum, soap operas are about women dealing with men, Thugs or otherwise, and coming to terms with themselves- as women- not playthings of men.

When Todd Manning did appalling things to women, he was made to pay. He was punished and ostracized and shunned by those for whom he cared.  He internalized the punishment and wore it on his face- in the form of a scar- as a reminder of his crimes.  He was admonished by women continuously.  By Nora, by Marty, by Viki, by Tea, by Luna, and even by his beloved Starr and Blair.  He was rarely punished effectively by men, being the police, and when he was finally incarcerated for a long period and lost everything, it was by a woman- his mother. As ridiculous and plot driven as that stupid story was, it does fit the concept that women are in control of him, not vice versa.  And they will be the ones to ultimately make him pay.

Yet no such punishment happens on GH or even Y&R.  That's the problem. It's all about the almighty men and their power.  The only struggle is between men and men only.  And, frankly, it's not interesting to the audience.  I don't care to see Victor hem and haw about being a manipulative douchebag who everyone still loves. I don't care that he was an orphan.  I want him to pay!!  He's an ass and I see no redeeming qualities about him at all.  Don't get me started on Adam...well, I can't help it.

I think Adam is one of the most repulsive characters ever brought on to daytime and is indicative of the systemic problem the form faces. And, remember, I'm a Todd Manning fan!!!  I think the actor, Michael Muhney, is very good and the issue here is NOT the portrayal but the character. I think Muhney does a wonderful job making me hate Adam's guts. The idea that he tortured Ashley while she was pregnant when she was the only one to show him kindness and sympathy makes me sick. I can't get past that, as I've been given no reason to get past it. With Todd, he is treated like dirt, incarcerated, wounded, and thoroughly miserable.  When Powell forced him to look at who he had become, it resonated with him and made an impact on his soul.  He felt what it was like to be the victim.

With Adam, it's all plot point and surface misery.  His deeds never seem to be truly internalized.  Being dumped by Sharon- don't get me started on Sharon- and losing his sight briefly are silly plot points. I didn't see him struggle and be tormented. He's smug and "sad".  Good, I'm glad he's sad. He should be!!He's an asshole with no redeeming qualities, like his father but even worse.  I didn't see a woman blinding him- only himself. Truly pathetic. At least Luna put the scar on Todd's face, a reminder that he would forever be a rapist.  Hell, Adam even got his sight back.  And let's not talk about Adam's foray into homosexuality to get a lawyer to represent him.  I'll leave that alone.

These shows are also shown through the male perspective.  In film studies, there's a concept called the "male gaze".  This means that the camera is seen as being male and shows the perspective that men have,  as it was traditionally a male director and cinematographer.  Therefore, the shots were from the perspective of the "male gaze".  It shows you what men would see. For example, in love scenes shot by heterosexual men, you see the female reaction as that's what a heterosexual man would see- thus the camera shoots the male perspective.

Soap operas subverted that notion.  Men were shown as sex objects as they tended to show the "female gaze".  In love scenes, we saw the male reaction.  Men were objectified.  We saw naked men whenever possible.  We saw men in shirts that were painted on to show their bulging chests.  We saw older women with attractive younger men.  Yet, that's changed.  Now, we see some scantily clad women, yes, but we also see sex more than romance.  That is a decidedly male perspective. Women prefer touching moments as opposed to thrusting and moaning.  Many women tend not like to see three men in towels in a sauna.  See Ford Brothers ala Carlivati.  The homoerotic subtext is rampant yet I don't think there's anything wrong to playing to that segment of the audience. But the scenes that are made for the heterosexual women usually play from the male perspective, as well. Again, it's being out of touch with the audience and not asking, "Hey, what do women like to see?"  It's just assuming they know. And they don't.

Here's an example of something recent that worked beautifully. Rarely have I seen such a positive reaction to a non-sexual scene as I did with this touching moment:

It was one of the most romantic and alluring scenes of soap opera I'd seen in years. It was written by a woman. It was directed by a woman. And it was played by two soap actors who can always deliver and know what this genre is about. It's about intimacy and fear and pain and longing and, more than anything, love.  It's all this form needs- and almost never gets.

The scene is showing Blair's perspective. It's what she sees.  She's in control of the situation. Todd is the one who needs her and is reaching out to have her save him.  She relents, as she loves him despite her knowing better.  It's objectifying Howarth to some extent, as he's half naked, but it's not about sex. It's about intimacy.  When Blair takes off his shirt, it's to help him, yet his longing for her is apparent, so it's alluring but not lurid.  As the camera pulls back at the end to show them together, her hand in his as she comforts him, the music is sweet and romantic and sad. Now, that's how it should work. No thrusting, no panting, not even a kiss...but pure romance and love.  That's soap opera at it's finest and what we almost never got in recent years.

Look, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with some good old fashioned, hot sex. There's nothing wrong with a few men in Speedos- although I'd rather not see it, yet I'm not denying it to those who would. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with some bad boys being bad.  We all love the bad guys.  It's about the perspective.  And the women. It's all about the women, Stupid!!


It's one thing to have anti-heroes and bad boys. It's another to have a show built around patriarchy and misogyny.  That's what they've become- a form for women that really might hate women at worst and doesn't understand them at best.  The shows now- specifically Y&R and GH- say that women are weak and men are strong.   The ones that have been cancelled say the opposite. DOOL rides somewhere in the middle.  Funny, the shows that sunk the form remain- for the moment- even with dismal ratings.  Maybe because men made that decision!

Is The Phoenix Rising from the Ashes? The "OLTL-ifying" of GH

I saw that while us Midwesterners with normal sleep patterns were snoozing that there was some interesting gossip on Friday night. I know I was at a dull dinner party with people whose goal in life is to find the best food for the least money, then went happily off to sleep. I seemed to have missed out on the excitement.

It seems that with the added time on GH, the boys will be making a turn that some of us saw coming months ago but thought had been abandoned.  This "insider", who some say is legit, claims that there's a shake-up underway and that the hybrid many scoffed at is actually coming.  It's time to bring in all the big guns and make GH a thing of the past.  Bring on "OLTL II- The Revenge!!  This time, it's personal".  Although I feel for many GH fans, deep down, I couldn't be happier.

The scuttlebutt is that there will be a lot of major OLTL characters arriving soon- some long term, some short, some staying for a while, some leaving and coming back again, and so on.  Those being mentioned are Blair, Viki, Victor, and Tea, who's there already.  Oh, and Tubby.  But he's not interesting, so we'll leave him alone.  Unless, well, you know, Todd can beat him GF Style.  (Do I need to add that clip again?  Nah, we've seen it enough.)  It seems many others are being thought about, as well, although they were not specifically mentioned.  The addition of Tea now proves that The Two Todds, II, as we'll call it, is happening in full force, so this does make a lot of sense. Those directly affected by the story should be there for it.

The rationale here is that TPTB wanted this all along but were nervous. They got  freaked by the GH backlash, so they backed off at first.  I would assume bad ratings and the downward spiral not being an anomaly, but firmly a trend, is what told them that status quo with a few additions was NOT working.  Their initial thoughts were probably the way to go.  With this reprieve- as it is- I would imagine that they have nothing to lose. It's now or never, as I've said all along, and time to make something happen! If they want to save their livelihoods and the future of this genre, they need to prove it's viable.  And what they're doing now is saying the opposite.  GH is a loser.

I'd also imagine that the outrageously negative feedback would also be an issue.  I know I've been screaming, but I'm not the one contacting them (although many of you have forwarded this to them, which makes me laugh just thinking about it).  Is it possible that Carlivati and Valentini listened to the angry letters and tweets and long discussions on message boards and crazy rants like this? Is it possible that they did exactly as I, and many others, requested?  They saw beyond the anger to see the intent behind it?  We wanted something to be saved and they were squandering it, and doing so in a very callous way.  Is it possible that, heaven forbid, they're sorry??

I started posting on TWOP because I thought everyone there was civil and smart. But that's really why I read it, not really why I posted.  I'm not the message board type, in general.  I'm a closet fangurl and prefer it that way. I have the cover of "using the info for my work", which I do, but deep down, I'm filled with fangurl glee when I get my story my way, so my credibility really goes out the window there.  But the real reason I started posting regularly was when I heard David Vickers mention "Movies Without Pity" and knew some writer was reading it.  I thought maybe, just maybe, they'd read something and that could make a difference.  So, that's what I did- I tried to reach out to them, anger and all- and make a difference.

Now, I'm starting to think that worked. I don't know who's reading this, although I have some pretty outlandish ideas, but in the end, I didn't think it mattered.  Do they really pay attention to the boards and the blogs and the letters and the Tweets? I see people urging civility from fans, so that makes me think they do pay attention. Otherwise, who cares?  I have students rail on me online all the time. Hell, it's a cottage industry. I don't care. I'm doing my job and if they don't like it, well, that's not my concern.  The majority of them do and so do my supervisors.

But maybe that's it.  Maybe the majority of the people DON'T think they are doing a good job, as is obvious by the dismal numbers, and they do care.  I'd like to think that but can't be sure if it's possible, as it's too good to be true. Is it possible that we have some impact into decisions being made?  I'd say yes for one reason and one reason only.  The vows to not watch were valid.  

The ratings suck, are going down or steadily in the toilet, as there were no empty threats here. They were legit statements.  WE WILL NOT WATCH THIS!!  There were no viewers.  They tuned out, left, and had no intention of coming back as many of us felt we were not getting our show. So, why would we?  The network dumped it and the Producers tried to destroy the nice thing they left, so why should we come back?  What's in it for us?

I'm going out on a limb as this is my blog and, well, I can.  I think it's possible that the little show that could, OLTL, is proving itself more everyday. The "red-headed stepchild" (excuse the offensive term as I have a beautiful child in my life with red hair and mean no disrespect to anyone lucky enough to be so blessed with those gorgeous locks) is emerging as the real winner. Is it a Cinderella Story of modern media?  The one who was pushed aside, starved for promotion and money, had it's coffers looted by lesser shows, actually survives and comes back from the dead?

OMG, it's a soap fan's fantasy.  The Phoenix Rises from the Ashes.  In true soap form, no one saw the body of OLTL.  We had hints that she was being held captive somewhere, being preserved until it was safe to return.  Starr and Todd and John being alive should have proved that.  The constant Blair references, the addition of Tea, all made some of us live in hope.  As a fan who waited patiently for eight years to see Real Todd come back, I can believe it.  It's Llanview, after all, and anything's possible. Viki's still there somewhere, I can feel it.

OLTL fans are a rare breed.  We love our show and although we'll scream and yell and walk away for a while, we'll come back.  We stand on the sidelines as the show was worth it.  It wasn't about the writing or the plotting or the direction. It was about the characters and the actors who played them.  They were soulful and talented people who made us want to love them, even when we hated what they were doing.  They were always interesting and I can think of no other show where every Vet was terrific.  I hated Tea much of the time but I always thought FL played her very well and I could find sympathy for her, despite my negative feelings. I even enjoyed her much of the time.

Nowhere can you get truly "grey" characters like Asa and Todd and make the audience so attached.  Besides Adam and David from AMC, and maybe Craig from ATWT, I've never seen it. It was the characters and the actors that kept us.  Bring them back and we'll reward you.  Just don't "GH-ify" them.  Keep them as we know them.  That's vital and what this "test" should have shown you.  We want OUR show, not GH's version of our show. 

GH is a dying dog.  Have mercy on it and put it to sleep. The fans are gone and they aren't coming back. You see, they aren't us.  Valentini and Carlivati thought all fans were like OLTL fans.  They're learning a harsh lesson.  That's not true.  You can't placate GH fans.  A huge number left long ago and won't return as they don't care about the people on screen.  The show wasn't strong enough to keep them.  But OLTL was- and is. We're the ones who are on the sidelines....waiting.  No one's coming back to GH as the majority you need don't care anymore. We'll come back, but only if we trust you.

I still won't watch until I know for sure. I'm not getting hosed again.  Be good this time, Boys, and we'll join in.  As I said months ago when all this started, "Build it and they will come".  You just have to prove yourselves.  Like mine as a detached, objective academic, your credibility went out the window. We're like Blair now.  Will you, like Todd, take that trust and stomp on it?  This time, I don't think Todd meant to, but he did.  As did you.  And, like Blair, we're suckers for you and we won't break the "OLTL-cycle", as, well, you're our Dude and we love you!!! Warts and all.  But we will rip you a new one.  Yet, like Blair, we always come back because, well, you can't pick who you love.

Oh, and bring back CLINT!!! I love him, too.

The Governor Called- General Hospital Gets a Stay of Execution...for the Moment!

So, it seems that GH is saved. Oh, Kids, don't be so naive. This is a stay of execution at best.  However, due to the dismal failure of The Revolution, there will be some more time.  But now our boys have a the weight of the world on their heads.  How can they raise the Titanic as it's taking on more water with every passing moment?  What can they do, if anything, to not only keep their jobs but also sell this monstrosity to another outlet?  Guess what, Fellas, I'm here to help!!! Here's my top ten list of what you do to save "One Life to Live".....I mean, "General...ahem....Hospital"  Yeah, that's what I meant.  General Hospital.....:

#10: Fire 90% of the cast

I know this won't be popular, but this is my blog so I can as damn offensive as I want.  I think most of this cast sucks.  They need to go.  They're mediocre and unappealing. They've got no guts or warmth or, well, talent. If Geary remembers how to act, maybe he can stay.  But, other than him, they're all terrible.  Finola Hughes is great.  She can stay.  The rest, they're terrible.  Off with their heads!!


#9: Change the name of the show to "OLTL II, The Revenge"


I was a child of the eighties and I remember every sequel was called "The Revenge". I always enjoyed "This Time, It's Personal" as the tag line.  I think the show needs a whole new start and needs to sloff off the loserdom that has attached itself to it. If you're ditching the cast, just ditch the name, too.  It's got the Stink of the Loser attached to it. So, my suggestion is "OLTL II: The Revenge- This Time, It's Personal".  It's very marketable and realistic. Really OLTL should have been saved instead of this dog, so it would be revenge.  And personal.  Maybe Viki and Dorian can kick Tracey's ass....nah, I love Tracey.  She can stay. They can kick that Jason's ass. He's a tool.  And a dolt.  And fat!!  And has no talent.  Oh, and he's fat!  You know when they make guys wear black, it's to hide the massive guts.  Tubby Tomas wore black on OLTL a lot.  Guess why.............

#8: Change the location to Llanview

Port Charles is a dumb name and it, like the name of the show, has the Stink of the Loser on it. It has to go! They need a change of scene.  I suggest Llanview. It's bright and sunny and has some very nice homes in it.  Rebuild the sets and bring back Llanfair and Todd's penthouse.  Port Charles is too dark and ugly, like the cast, and if it could be fat, it'd be fat, too!

#7: Get Lorraine Broderick back from DOOL

She's fabulous.  'Nuff said.  Steal her from Gary Tomlin.  


#6: Get David Canary and Vincent Irrizary to resurrect their AMC characters

Nothing could be better than having strong male leads that can act.  If GH wants to be boy's club, at least use characters that are interesting played by actors who have some talent.  You have Howarth. That's a start.  Now a little David Hayward, that can't hurt.  You can keep Anna.  He was married to her.  He's a doctor and there's a hospital in town!  Why not??? And Adam, well, he's just the King! He can go anywhere.  Oh, and Brooke better come with him.  She can open Tempo to compete with that stupid magazine that the crazy broad runs but I heard Todd buys and gives to Blair.  Brooke could take the Mannings on.  She's got the balls for it.  I'd even be torn over who to root for.  I love watching the Mannings lose.  Blair plays great frustration and Todd's always angry, so why not?

#5:  Don't hire Susan Lucci

I never liked her. She can't act and she's short.  Oh, and did I say that I don't like her?  Never did, never will.  I'm sure she's a lovely woman with a kind soul.  But I don't like her.  She's not invited.


#4:  Hire most of the cast of OLTL

This is a no-brainer but I'll outline people who should be there:  Viki, Natalie, Nora, Bo, Blair, Dorian, David, Jack- but a new actor, Sam, Renee, NIGEL, and my boyfriend, Clint, played by GILF extraordinaire, JVD!! Also, BRING BACK RJ!!!! He's talented and fun and I love how he belittles Todd. It's amusing to me.  We need some color in these lilly white towns and RJ is colorful in more ways than one.  He's the best!! I hope he still has the dreads.

#3: Let Todd beat the crap out of Tubby Tomas for an entire episode- and let him use props

I covered this before but I love the thought so much, it bears repeating.  Here's my suggestion for how it should look again. Oh, and did I say that I love this?  James Caan was one hot Jewish man who makes this Jewish broad weak in the knees.  Well, back then, anyway. Time is not his friend:

#2: Fire the last 10% of the cast

Sorry, I love Luke and Tracey and Anna, but they have to go.  We'll have Todd (the town pariah who's misunderstood but really an ass -Luke),  Viki ( the rich matriarch -Tracy), Dorian (the spicy matriarch who can be evil -Tracy), and Bo (damn good cop- Anna).  All those roles once filled by the remaining GH folk are taken. We're stuck with McBain and Natalie can be the female cop. Sorry, Kids, they gotta go. They have the Stink of the Loser on them and they'll infect the rest of the cast.We thank them for their years of service and wish them well in future endeavors.  But, Get the Hell Out!!

and finally, the best way to save GH-

#1: Consult me and my little online friends with any ideas for upcoming casting or storyline ideas

That should be a given.  I will be in constant touch with my people to evaluate any idea.  It's become apparent that we know more than you, so no decision, no matter how small, should be made without our express approval.  And if you don't do as we suggest, there will be pink slips!! Off with your heads!!  But we thank you for your years of service and wish you luck in future endeavors.



Now, I can't guarantee this will all work.  But I can say this.  It can't be worse.  I promise, Boys, I'll stop railing on you if you just do this.  It's Spring now.   A time of rebirth and renewal.  You've been given a reprieve.  Don't fuck it up.  It's your last chance!


And remember, this dog has the Stink of the Loser on it.  You better separate yourself soon or you'll have it, too.  You once were the golden boys, now, well, you're "Nimnuts".  Better reverse course as the Titanic is heading right for that iceberg. And there's no room in the lifeboats for you...............it's swim or die.

Did Blair Get "ABC-ified"?- It's About the Women, Stupid, Part Two!

So, it seems that the blog about Gary Tomlin got a lot of people thinking and talking.  As an academic, I’m thrilled as that’s supposed to be my cause in life!  I have to spend most every day trying to get eighteen year olds to think and they aren’t always happy to do it.   As usual, the OLTL crowd was insightful and interesting.  As one poster said on DD, OLTL fans seem “the most intelligent”.  I don’t know if that’s true, but speaking as one, I can appreciate the compliment.

So, here’s what I found.  Gary Tomlin was hated by many, liked by some, and loved by few.  As I mentioned, I’m in the “like” crowd- seeing positives and negatives to his time on OLTL.  I didn’t watch when he was a writer, nor did I see his tenure on DOOL, so I can’t speak to those.  However, I did watch his entire tenure as EP on OLTL, so I do feel that I can respond with some semblance of credibility on that issue.

Okay, much of the criticism I saw was about his treatment of Blair.  Now, although I agree that Blair’s character did suffer to some extent under Tomlin, as did all characters, I don’t see her treatment as destructive as many others. I thought Todd was seen as an idiotic asshole which was so bad it was second only to the horrific TNT days.  But, I still enjoyed them as, well, you take the good with the bad as a fan sometimes.  I saw them attempting to make her into an “adult” Blair, which, IMO, is a dull Blair, but I think that was the intent.  She was a mother and a wife, to both Todd and Max, and that should bring with it some semblance of maturity.  Note the use of “should” and “some”.  However, it also was the last time I saw some full-blown Bitch Blair.  I didn’t watch the “SNV Years”, as I’ll call them, so pardon anything I missed.

I saw her scheming with Max to rip off Asa.  I saw her planning revenge on Max and Skye.  But, mostly because I was most interested, I saw her scheming with Todd and against Todd for much of Howarth’s early return.  The framing of Skye, for example, was some good stuff. The attempts to counteract Todd’s manipulation to get his family back were fun. The way she tried to throw him off and torture him, such as on New Years, were also manipulative and angry but hot and fun, as well.  So, there was that.  I can’t remember the last time I saw Blair be bitchy, really, so maybe that’s it. It’s about nostalgia.

If we’re keeping the conversation to Blair and Blair only, it seems that it’s only fair to judge her treatment in context.  No one has given the character her due, with that I agree. However, it is not necessarily the fault of the writer or the producer.  But, let’s be honest, it’s so fun to blame Carlivati as he gets so mad.  If he could find a way to block me from writing this, I’m sure he would.  Poor Ronnie, can’t take the criticism.  Deal with it, Buddy, it’s part of the job!  At any rate, it seems to be a policy on ABC- or was as it’s effectively out of the business- to make any woman who was a “bad girl” into a “good girl” or “less of a bad girl” as she ages.  They seem to believe that bad girls won’t fly in a medium made for women and, guess what, that’s a crock.

Okay, now I’m turning academic. In the 1980’s, there was a scholar who wrote on soaps.  Her name was Tania Modelski and she claimed that the lead figure on soap operas had to be the matriarch as that was the character that the women watching could relate to and who spoke for them.  The bad characters were key but only because they could then be forgiven by the matriarch but it was the matriarch that was the character with whom the audience could identify.  I see her point and while I never thought the matriarch was not vital- see “Viki-fying Marlena”- I always thought Modleski’s rationale for her importance was incorrect.

The audience, IMO, had changed by the 1980’s and fractured. There was still the older fan who could relate to the matriarchs.  But that was just one small segment of the audience. The younger crowd, like myself and many of you it seems, did not relate to the matriarch but to the bad girl.  Thus, the enduring popularity of Erica Kane would seem to prove that.  Personally, I always preferred Brooke English, as I saw her as smarter than Erica who I thought was flash with no substance.  Brooke began bad but, in typical ABC style, was neutered and whitewashed to be good.  Hayley Vaughn, again, started “rough” then became a saint, for God’s sake.

It seems that the only “bad” girl who stayed even a little bad was Blair. But, eventually, she would have to be sacrificed to the ABC practice.  Erica Kane was whitewashed to some extent but I found it interesting that, even in the end, ABC would not give her satisfaction and a happy ending.  Although I know that was for practical purposes with PP’s pipedream looming, I thought it fitting with their agenda.  She was still going against societal norms and had to be punished for it.  She refused to stay home and wring her hands and worry and get matronly, so she had to be alone at the end, the ultimate punishment according to ABC, it would seem. Sexist executives promoting this ideology was the idea here.  Women cannot be happy without men and children and therefore those who don't tow the line will be punished. They are left alone as they are going against the dominant ideology of what women should be. Those who seek alternatives to the patriarchal order must be made to pay.

Now, when it comes to Blair, I think the audience, her loyal fans, and ABC have three different ideas.  Her loyal fans, and being a fan but not one who would characterize myself as such first and foremost, seem to think she’s been shafted over the years.  There is some definite validity to that statement.  But being more in the middle of fandom, I think it’s more than that.  I think she’s been “ABC-ified”.  As time wore on, she was made to want to be more “normal” and have a quieter life about her children and be truly loved by someone who’s not a lunatic…like Todd. For real people in the real world, that’s understandable and valid.  But for a viewing public, it’s boring and seen as out of character. Choosing to be with the chubby dullard Tomas, in the real world, has a logic to it (even though he was a party to locking up her husband- what???). That stupidity aside, in the real world, motherhood may have made Blair softer and years of craziness with Todd’s obsessive behavior and crazy-ass schemes, might warrant the change.  A little peace may be just what she needed.

Yet this isn’t the real world. It’s TV.  Not only that, it’s soaps.  ABC seems to subscribe to Modleski’s antiquated notions.  They were making Blair into a full-fledged matriarch.  And, as many of us don’t like it, that has been their agenda.  She was always there but never given a story of her own.  She was reactive instead of proactive.  She had, in some ways, become the typical ABC middle-aged character. As ABC does, she would then be pushed aside for the newer model but trotted out to wring her hands about her kids.  Look at Brooke English, not only was she turned into a third wheel in the Tad and Dixie saga and then the Jack and Erica snooze-fest, she was then summarily dismissed until she was needed to take Adam offscreen.  And, although I loved the moments at the end, her treatment was far worse than Blair’s was.  At least Blair was there.

Look at the treatment of Viki and Dorian.  Viki, once a vital and active member of her own stories, was given material it seems more as a tribute to Slezak than Viki.  Although she and Dorian were both given stories, they were relegated to either matron with issues- Viki- or almost grotesque joke- Dorian.  Thankfully, I wasn't watching, but her gay wedding/later David years sound thoroughly repugnant.  It seems that if you aren't the matronly type on ABC, you are either a thing of fun or don't exist.  Anna, on GH, one of the strongest, most interesting female characters on GH ever, is being brought back simply to end the show and prop McBain.  Once again, she's playing some semblance of matriarch, only still a bit hot.  Like English, she can appear at the end as a bone thrown to fans of the show who missed having someone to whom they could relate. And, in English's case, give Adam a final partner fitting his intelligence, charisma, and all around fabulosity!

Blair as the show ended, was just a part of Todd's life.  That's true.  But at least she was still seen as interesting and desirable.  She did do her share of handwringing and was shown to be easily manipulated by Todd and, I'd argue, that Douchebag Tomas.  However, it should be acknowledged that DePaiva not only made Blair interesting in her handwringing but you saw the old fire in her face.  The scene when she and Howarth are wrestling for the gun, for example, had the old fun in it for me.

It is the actors that make this crap work.  No one in control seemed to get that.  The way Todd looked at her as if he wanted to ravage every part of her, especially when she railed at him, made it apparent that not only was Blair still relevant, she was still hot. Look here at about 3:15. Let's not even talk about the innuendo about candy and bowls and such.  It's enough to make me blush!:

 And that's unusual on ABC. But, honestly, who's hotter or more fun than these two?

So, it seems that the Tomlin treatment of Blair, in my mind, was the last time she had any meat to her character.  She was neutered to some extent, I agree, but at least she still had vestiges of Blair.  ABC highlights the men, that’s a given.  Blair had become, and still was until the end, part of Todd’s story. It wasn’t about Blair and, really, it never was going to be.  Women on ABC suffer that fate. I’m not sure it was Tomlin or even Valentini who were responsible. I think it’s the way ABC ran…and maybe why they’re dead.  They were antiquated, like Modleski’s model. It was about the women, Stupid, but not the women you thought. And I’m not calling Modleski stupid, BTW.  You know who I mean.  I’ll call Ron stupid just to piss him off.  I can’t help it!! It’s too fun now……..

A Very Special GH- The Two Todds Hijack Port Charles! Shame on You, Boys, Shame.

Anyone else remember when sitcoms did those "very special episodes" where they'd tackle the "real issues"? Like when Blossom's friend got pregnant or something. I don't know if that happened as I was probably out drinking at a fraternity party rather than watching "Blossom", but you know what I mean. Well, I'm happy to report that Carlivati's mouthpiece dropped on DD that there may be such an instance in GH. Hold onto your hats, Kids, and get ready for a "very special episode" of GH that has nothing to do with the show, it's characters, or it's fans. But it seems the fans have been screaming for it, at least in Carlivati's head! Now their wishes will come true. The Two Todds will hit Port Charles! And, oh, what an episode it will be....only not.

And, we now find that it features the ever-present in Port Charles, Tea Delgado! What a special moment that will be for GH fans, huh? They obviously missed Tea, even though they have no clue who she is!  But they've been clamoring for her.  They really needed to see her again, for the first time, as the finale is near.

But, back to the topic at hand..  I truly doubt the Two Todds Saga will be one episode. It will be more like a LOT of episodes and probably in the final months of the show.  I'd say it will be on four or five days a week, at least four or five segments per show, and will last for at least eight weeks. I predict a flood of OLTL characters emerge to see this unfold.  I know there's Tea.  Next,  I see Tubby Tomas, I see Viki, and, of course, I see Blair.  I always thought Blair'd be back and if this is the course of events, it's a no-brainer.  KDP booked a concert in Palm Springs in June.  Come on, no one goes to Palm Springs in June if it can be avoided. It's like being in Hell!! Even people who live there leave!!  She has other reasons to be in California, IMO, and it ain't the weather.  The East Coast is beautiful in the late spring, early summer.  She's shooting this story.

Okay, so I know I rail at these guys on a weekly basis- three days a week as it seems.  However, I do it  with love!!!!!!!!!! I am upset as they are misusing something I feel strongly about.  The real problem is when people are uninterested.  That's when it's time to pack up the tent and go home.  When people call you names and yell and scream, it's time to rethink strategy.  Not necessarily change it, but at least see if there's a true point to the ravings.  That's the idea here.  I may be yelling as it's fun for me, I can do it in anonymity, and it seems to be VERY popular, but there is a point here. I'd like to see something good happen. And, it seems, there are least now two thousand people who agree!!! Also, I'm  a loudmouth Jewish woman who feels you should be able to yell at people you care for and "let it rip", as my cousin says, as it's for their own good. We're, well, passionate. But usually entertaining!!

So, with that caveat in mind, I must admit that I'm not unhappy if this happens.  I love OLTL and all it's characters, even the ones I hate- see SNV.  I'd like to see the good stuff from the show live on and if I have to take the bad stuff with it, sobeit.  I never minded Tea except when she was being Todd's wailing punching bag in the '90's.  But, away from Todd, I didn't mind her.  I even liked her in lawyer mode. I didn't particularly care for the angry harpy she became at the end, persecuting a mentally unstable man for a crime he didn't commit, but I can let that go.  I have no use for her demented husband, one Special Needs Victor, but if it gets Todd off the hook, I'll gladly welcome him.  And, if he keeps Tea busy, bring him on!!  The chubby brother I don't need unless Todd gets to punch him in the face, knock him down, bite his hand as he grasps on for balance, and then kick him as he writhes in pain on the ground, like Sonny did to his brother-in-law in The Godfather. That would be sweet.  Can't you see Todd doing this:

Best beating ever!!! Oh, and on the non-violent side, having any chance to see Blair and Viki would be a treat and I'll take them any way I can get them.

BUT, and here's the big BUT-  and I mean to use the potential pun- do you all have your heads up yours???

OMG, have you boys no shame? This is ratfucking GH fans to the extreme, Fellas, and although I love seeing my show resurrected, it is unseemly to take the GH finale to do it. Really, shame on you.  What are you thinking? Don't the fans and the creative team on GH deserve their last moments to wrap it up?  That's really low, Dudes, low, low, low.

I know the "insider" claims that FV still thinks he can sell some "hybrid" to another outlet.  But, let's get real. This isn't about hybrids. It's about OLTL. It's about using GH as a platform to keep OLTL's stories relevant. It's about keeping the two leads you want- the Big Fish, as they called Howarth, and the Fan Fav, as in Easton- on the payroll so they don't move on to one of the last shows.  They both could get offers, as they are seen as major players by the industry.  And, selfishly, I'm all for it. I love OLTL, think it was a travesty that it was cancelled for what now seems to be no good reason, and would love nothing more than to see it live on.  But even I think this sucks as it's pretty transparent that GH has been, and may continue to be, hijacked.  I think the cast, crew, and fans of that show deserve better.

I see that RC and FV feel they got hosed as they had high hopes for this story and were derailed by PP. Okay, I get that, I feel hosed by RC and FV quite often- see the last three weeks of me raving here.  But I don't think it's right to then turn around and hose other people to make themselves feel better. If GH were continuing, it would be different, but there's not a chance in hell that's happening, IMO, but I could be wrong.  If the show went on, then the fans wouldn't need a finale.  Yet, come on, what are the chances?? And, if The Two Todds are coming, they will eat the show- whole- no doubt.  This is their MO- it's all Todd, all the time.  No matter the venue. And when you have two of them?   Forgetaboutit.

So, it's with a heavy heart and mixed emotions that I say, as a OLTL fan, I'm sorry to the GH audience. I think you may end up with the short end of the stick if this occurs.  And don't look for any major players to have any major part on any new show if Valentini gets one.  The way they work, it will be the Roger Howarth/ Michael Easton Hour, and maybe Sonny can bring them drinks.  I'm not kidding.  They never changed that in twenty years.  And they won't now.  Ask the other leads on OLTL...oh yeah, they're all gone. And basically have been since 1993. 

But, as bad as I feel, I'm crossing my fingers that I get a little Todd/Viki time and a nice Todd/Blair reunion.  And that Todd/Tomas scene would be SWEET!!! Kick his ass, Todd, as it's his fault you got locked up and then he tried to steal your wife.  What a douchbag!!! Oh, and Carlivati, NO ONE wanted Tomas found at the end...no one.  Except some Ted King fans.  But, really, that would be NO ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Most OLTL fans seemed happy he was gone.  But, let's not get started on the past.  We have the future to rail on. There's no looking back.

I am a little sad, though. I was looking forward to Ron's "Two Todds Puppet Theater" as was often discussed on DD. It would be a new "Punch and Judy" for the ages. Oh, well, there's still time.