Was It All Real?: Ideology, Legitimacy, and Change in Chicago

I really am a sucker at heart.  I really believe in all the things I claim to be too cool for when, in fact, it’s all the shit I hold onto on cold nights.  

I believe in this dumbass country, as much as I whine about it. I believe in love and friendship and family and loyalty.  I find that it’s often an illusion but I do hold onto those ideals, no matter how that kicks my ass and sends me into deep depressions when I find I’m let down.  But, if I’m honest, I’m really a sappy fangurl for the ideology of my childhood.  That this is a great country where anything is possible. 

I know I’m rolling my eyes at myself.  I’m a John Mellencamp, Bruce Springsteen listening Midwestern sap who grew up in the ‘80’s and believes in the inherent good of man.  Damnit, I hate me sometimes. I'm such a loser.......

But I wasn’t on Tuesday.  Man, I loved me on Tuesday night and into Wednesday morning. I loved being me as I sat and cried and held my head in my hands as my friend,  Barack, was announced as the President…again.  I found myself whispering “Thank God” over and over as I cried like a moron. Ya see, this wasn’t about who won. It was about what it meant.  Just ask our top dude!

To me, this election was about legitimacy. This time, our guy won and no one can say “It’s a fluke” or “People just got caught up in the movement”.  None of that is true. What this election meant was that there was no turning back.  The past was over.  There is nothing but Forward…..Finally, after our whole lives, we’re being released from the hold of the Conservative Movement.  We can finally prove that we DON’T live in a right leaning country.  We live in a left-leaning nation of diverse people.

We are a group of various people, of various colors, of various ages, of various genders, of various sexual orientations, but we all have one thing in common.  We’re tired of being ignored and sidelined.  We’re ready to stand up and demand what’s ours. It’s not “things”, like that moron O’Reilly said. We don’t want stuff. We want what everyone wants…respect, basic human rights, and what we deserve- our part in the process.

I find that often I look back on my life as a series of competing forces all crashing together in one spectacular moment- the ‘80’s.  And, although some may argue it, the ‘80’s were unfortunately defined by Ronald Reagan.  The ultimate vision of the Postmodern President. He was the brave cowboy, riding in to save the day as Carter was banished.  I found the Reagan Years were defining moments for me as it was when I went through high school and college. My politics were forming, as well as my identity- if you can distinguish them- and I was all about Reagan….and hating his fucking guts.

It is from this moment that I finally feel I’ve been liberated.  It’s finally over.  Finally, at long last, the reign of terror is over.  The King is finally dead.  For reals this time.  At long last, we’re free.

Most people in my generation will agree that the Conservative Movement has had a stranglehold on us from birth. We were taught to pay attention and make money and look good and that’s about it.  We were there to make the most cash and have the best cars and the biggest house. We were defined by our material possessions, not the quality of our character, as that’s part of the Postmodern condition.  

I’m a member of the first breed of Generation X.  We were so poorly defined we didn’t have a name, just a letter, and a vague one at that.  Remember, almost nothing begins with an “X”.  Only X-rays, which are not really real anyway.  We can touch them and see them but they aren't really anything, only representations of what's real.  That's what Postmodernism is all about.  The image of reality with nothing behind it. 

So, as a Bret Ellis reading member of Gen X, the First, I’ve waited on the sidelines for my turn.  I voted for Clinton, but he wasn’t really my President. He was my older brother or my professor. He wasn’t one of us.  He was the Baby Boomer. He wasn’t an Elvis Costello fan.  He invited Fleetwood Mac to the White House.  Now, that was great and I worshiped him and my girl, Hill, but they weren’t like me.  They were the older crowd who had a name.

Before this, so many of us stood and watched as we were bulldozed and steamrolled over. Many of us felt as if we were not part of the process, so we created our own or opted out.  Now, that’s not the case.  Finally, we stood up and told the white, male, wealthy, heterosexual, conservative power structure that enough is enough. We’re here, we’re staying, and we’re taking what’s ours.  And now it’s the place in the system.

That’s what Barack Obama represents. It’s not about him. It’s about what he means. It’s about those people waiting in line for hours to vote for the first time in their lives. It’s about the kid at home, seeing a man of color who is leading the free world and realizing that it doesn’t matter that he’s of color.  He’s just a man.  And even that doesn’t matter. He’s a human. It's about the idea that we are a country of people who can make a difference when we want to get up off the couch to do so. 

See, that’s what it’s about. It’s about basic human dignity. It’s about the Union Workers who want respect and a voice in the process. It’s about the Auto Worker who wants to feed children and have a say in the future without worry of  jobs being shipped offshore.  It’s about Teachers wanting to make a difference in the life of people and know they’re not lying when they tell the students they can be whoever they want…even President. That’s what this was about.  Freedom from oppression.  That was it.

My whole life, I looked at politicians as people who there to make things worse, not better. They were there to get theirs and screw everyone who cared.   Of course, there were exceptions. Paul Simon of Illinois, Dick Durbin, Teddy Kennedy, and, of course, my ultimate boyfriend, King of the Universe, Bill Clinton, who may have been too many people’s boyfriend, but that wasn’t my concern.  But these heroes were too few and too gone as we barely made it out alive from the disastrous Bush years.

I know that I’ve still never recovered from that nightmare. I went to sleep that first Tuesday night in November, 2000, sure that my friend, Al Gore, was president and awoke to the worse possible scenario.  It was wrong. It had to be a nightmare.  How could this moron have stolen the election?

It would only get worse. I laughed yesterday when I read an account in the Chicago Tribune of a woman who refused to sleep Tuesday night until we knew for sure it was done. She didn't want to relive that night in 2000.  I think many of us were in the same boat.  I had to know, for sure, that this was a done deal.  Like Peter Townshend said, I won't get fooled again. Widespread PTSD from that trauma. We’re only now recovering.  And it’s something we may never truly get over. 

Everything changed on Tuesday and I can feel it.  Now, don’t get me wrong. I loved the Clinton Years but it was always so hard. It was such a battle. It was always uphill. People were voting their pocketbooks really,  not because they believed in his ideals, if you ask me.  Many of us did, but he didn’t have the moment. He was great at his job but it was a struggle.  Now, it seems, it’s finally a battle that’s won.  I give Bill Clinton nothing but credit for everything. He not only helped this effort, he made it possible.  He really is my hero in every way, no matter how many blow jobs he got.  That’s not my concern.  If my girl Hill can deal with it, that’s their issue. I don’t care.

So, that’s why it was so important. It wasn’t about the President. It was about us. It was about the Latinos and the African Americans and the LGBT Community and the Unions and the Youth Movement and my people- the Gen X Liberals who have been waiting for our moment.  It was about the future. It was about what it NOW means to be an American. 

I as I sat in a bar in the Chicago Loop with my friend, the reluctant and ambivalent ex-patriot, we held our breath while watching returns.  It wasn’t like last time. It was quieter in the Loop. There wasn’t the jubilation or the excitement. It was rainy and cold, not abnormally hot and sunny as it was last time.  It was somber and quiet.  Maybe because we were afraid. I know I was.

But I mistakenly took the quiet for apathy. It wasn’t.  It was just…quiet.  That’s what I realized when I saw the voting numbers were almost the same as they were last time. We don’t need to rally or work ourselves into a frenzy.  Know why? It’s the new normal.  It’s not a moment to remember. It is what it is. 

I know now that quiet is not silence. It’s peace.  But there’s no going back. From here on in, it’s all new terrain. It’s finally our turn. Now, what that means I don’t know.  But on Tuesday night, I think I finally grew up. 

Oh, and one more thing-

Hillary Clinton in 2016!!!

'Nuff said!