Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Truth and Consequences at GH: If They Say It's True, You Can Bet It's a Lie

Let the GH games continue as this show comes to a close. OMG, it's more interesting than the show, at least more exciting, that's for sure. I noticed that there's some big controversy over who's in, who's out, when, where, how, and- most interesting- why.  There's only one thing I know for sure at this point in time. In my experience in studying and adoring daytime television, there's one sure way to know when TPTB are lying.  Their mouths move.

Never have I seen so many people tell so many lies to their customers.  In retail, that's not acceptable.  I worked at Marshall Field's every time I was out of work.  It was really fun when I had a graduate degree and was behind the counter in intimate apparel- only not.  I got reprimanded for reading a book, by the way.  At any rate, in retail, we were told that the customer was always right.  Even when they were wrong.  In academia, lying to a student is verboten.  It's well, bad, and we aren't supposed to do it, as it always comes back to bite you in the ass.  Those little bastards never forget anything.  Denial works well there, though.  No one believes students. I mean, come on, it's students for God's sake.  They'll say anything to save their ass.

Anyway, it seems to be par for the course that if you're a network executive, you must lie often and regularly.  It must be something they teach in "network school", ya know, like "McDonalds University". This is where the highfalutin' nimrods learn to "exec" in the appropriate way.  As Brian Frons said of the audience, they need to be "trained".  I see a big room with small chairs and a lot of crayons.  If someone is too smart, they are put in the corner and told to watch "The View" until they lose at least ten IQ points.  That doesn't take long!  I feel like I just lost a point or two just thinking about it.  Hasselbeck must be in the negatives by now.  She's her own biggest fan and I'm sure she watches herself everyday.  No one else could stand it.

So, the net was abuzz with "he's fired", "she's fired", "we need to save his job", and so on and so on and so on.  Here's the rumors I heard so far:

Laura Wright is being replaced by either of the former Carly actresses
The guy who plays Johnny is out
The guy who plays Anthony is out
The guy who plays Ewen in out
The guy who plays Dante is out
The guy who plays Patrick is out
The guy who used to Shawn Douglas Brady is out

Okay, here's the good news. I don't know who any of these people are with the exception of Carly, so I don't care about them.  And I don't like Carly, so I really don't care about her.  I'd like her to just leave as I resent the "Todd and Carly" rumors, so her leaving works for me.  I do admit the actress seems like a nice woman and I don't want her to be unemployed, but I thank her for her years of service and wish her well in future endeavors.  Now, go and don't let the door hit you on the way out.  And hold it open for Blair as she enters.  Maybe that could be her new job- holding things for Blair!!

As I've said many times, all the GH cast can go, IMO.  I don't really care except for one thing.  The GH fans are buying the spin.  All I can say is this:  DON'T!!!!  Don't believe them.  Not even a little.  They lie. They lie all the time.  They lie to their friends.  They lie to one another.  Hell, they tell the actors to lie to the fans.  They lie to the actors, too, so the actors may be lying to the fans and not even know it.  In other words, to quote my beloved Al Franken, former member of "The Franken and Davis Show" on SNL, Stewart Smiley, Liberal Talk Show Host, and now Senator from Minnesota, they're Lying Liars Who Lie.  And they also may be "Big Fat Idiots", as well. We're not sure about that.

This is all I can say.  It's not true if they say it.  Here's a few examples I remember.  "Jenn Rappaport goes out in a fun way"- she was brutally murdered.  "Todd" was being executed and St. John did an exit interview.  Lozano's Tea was dying and she did an exit interview.  They were finishing the Two Todds off-screen.  They're bringing the Mannings to Port Charles.............well, I'm giving them another month to prove that's not true.  We can live in hope, huh?

I see people buying into the lies and I want to throttle them.  STOP!! Don't believe them.  Here's a big lie- "GH will see it's 50th anniversary".  That's one of the biggest lies of them all.  Besides Valentini saying he's trying to save GH.  Now, that's the worst one yet.  We all know that's not possible and he ain't tryin'.  He's gutting it.

At any rate, in a business that calls lies "spin", you need to be able to read between the lines- or the lies, so to speak.  They might say "it's a great show today" when they know it sucks.  That's spin.  But when they say "that man is going nowhere"- read between the lines. That means he's not going somewhere now, not in the immediate future, see how that works?  He's going alright, just not NOW.  In two weeks, possibly, but not now.

There's a famous story about a OLTL actor who heard rumor that his character was being killed off. He went to Valentini and asked him about his status. He was told no such thing was possible and he was safe.  They loved him.  Guess what?  Well, let's just say he was shocked when he read his script to find that his character fell through a skylight to his demise.  What a surprise. He was married to a core character. Whodathunkit?  Maybe Valentini is just out of the loop.  Maybe he felt too bad to tell the guy to his face. Or maybe he's just a big, fat liar. I don't know but I'll tell you one thing.  When the actor took the story public, we never saw him on ABC Daytime again.  And, Kids, that's no lie.

There's only one thing a liar hates more than getting caught. It's being held accountable for that lie.  There's no way to spin that one.  I don't know if any of these rumors are true but I'm sure of one thing.  They're not false yet.  Now, that's spin for you.  And there's a whole lotta people that will need to be let go to pay for the OLTL invasion.  They're not cheap.  And they're coming.  Know who I know? They said they're producing GH, not OLTL.  See how that works?

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