The Coming of the Soap Opera Apocalypse: Wars on a Global Scale

Okay, so if you missed Part One, this is Part Two of the signs that the End of Soap Opera Days is near.  Besides Lawlessness, as we discussed in Part One, we have Wars on a Global Scale.  This is something that is particularly fitting for this little world about to end.  Although not new, it's a systemic problem.  Fan wars on a global level are not only as issue, they're helping to sink the genre.  Yes, people I mean you, and, regrettably, a little bit me, as well.

I grew up in Chicago. I understand the way this works.  You see, we have the "honor" of having two baseball teams- the White Sox and the Cubs.  The city and the suburbs are actually divided, literally and figuratively, down the middle.  You can't be a Cub fan on the South Side. I mean, you "can" but you better be in the closet and if you're not, I hope you don't like your lawn ornaments and have a surefire way to get toilet paper out of your trees. The same situation exists with being a Sox fan on the North Side.  You can't.  I mean, they've invaded to some extent but they just don't fit.  And everyone knows who you are...........

Okay, I know it sounds stupid to everyone who doesn't know how we operate. In this town, if you shovel out your parking space in the street after a big snow and you put a lawn chair there, that means nobody better park there. If they do, there's gonna be a lot of trouble.  And this violence was sanctioned by not only one mayor- but two.  We literally have Daley and my boyfriend, Rahm, endorsing thug behavior when it comes to parking. We're territorial, what can I say.  But, I mean many of these people believe a guy not being allowed to bring his goat into Wrigley Field cursed the team.  Logic is not a strong point here.

But some of these people are just mean.  So, that doesn't help.  Really, it's about where you were born and where you live.  Like the Civil Freakin' War.  And it's a game, People, it's a game. Not a parking spot!

So, after spending years in cultural studies, studying fan culture is old hat to me.  Soap fans, like sports fans, are a little over the top, to put it mildly.  The Wars are on a global level.  They are, well, insane.  Sorry, Kids, but you know who you are.  You're a little nutty.  Remember, it's just a TV show. Not Bosnia.

Here's how I see it- fans of one show may hate fans of another show.  Fans of one character may hate fans of another character.  Fans of one couple may hate fans of another couple and this is where it gets dicey.  And strange.  Now some fans are normal and into it for the fun.  Just being a fangurl doesn't make you a nutjob.  But, there a few who make it all not only crazy, but a little scarey, as well. I also think some of the producers and writers are afraid of them. Let's not even talk about the poor actors involved.  Some of them should get restraining orders.  These people should be afraid.  I know I am.  They're skerryy.............

Okay, let's use an example.  I've watched the Todd Wars for years.  But, it's not really about the character. It's about who Todd's with- Blair or Tea.  TNB vs. TNT, as they're called, have been igniting "wars" for decades now and, honestly, there are a few on both sides that are out of control!!! Get some perspective, People, it's a TV show.  These people are actors that go home at the end of the day. They are not Todd, Blair, or Tea.  And your fate is not tied to theirs.

Now, I can rant and rave and wax poetic.  But, this is different. There are people who truly hate each other and the actors.  Really. They attribute characteristics of the characters to the actors.  They assume they know things about the actors when, come on, they don't.  Even more scarey, what if they do?  Maybe they should look into restraining orders. Yet it gets really nutty when they start attacking other fans.  It's really creepy.  The endless arguing, the insults, I've seen everything except death threats, and I assume I've just missed those.

Really, get a grip.  This is a show and sometimes being crazy actually hurts the objective.  The shows don't want to hear from you.  At all. They don't want praise.  They don't want criticism.  They want you to shut up, watch their show, and buy the products from their advertisers.  They don't want letters demanding things.  That's not good. That's crazy!!

Soaps are supposed to be fun, not bloodsport.  It's a goddamn television show, not fighting over land masses.  Jolies vs. Jovans.  Shick vs. Phick.  Trevor fans vs. Roger fans.  It's INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!! Can't we all just agree to disagree?  Must there be baiting and mocking and lying and libel?  Come on.  This is nothing more than a power struggle. It's about control.  You see, those of us who study fan culture kind of get this.

Fans who are in this "fringe" element are those who lack social skills.  They are unable to form real connections in their lives, so they get that sense of belonging from their "fandom".  They function as part of a group and that gives them a sense of camaraderie and inclusion that they fail to achieve in their own lives.  They build alliances with others who have their same sensibility and anyone who is not "with them" is against them. Those on the other side become the enemy as they're a threat to this sense of belonging.  They must be objectified and de-humanized.  They are given names to make them seem less than human- "hags", for example- and can then be degraded and demoralized more easily.  You're not degrading Julie from Springfield,  but a "hag".

This is just like sports fans.  If you've ever heard a Packers fan speak about the Bears fans, you'd be frightened.  My above mention of Sox vs. Cubs is nothing compared to this fandom.  "Go back to Chicago and die" is often chanted across the "Cheddar Curtain" into Wisconsin.  It's psycho.  Believe me. I've lived in both states.  But, there is a lot of cheese in Wisconsin...and beer.

Being a Flatlander (Illinois person) or a Cheesehead (a Wisconsin person) is no different than being a Jolie or a Jovan or a Howarth Hag or a Roger Godder.  It's the same thing. And, really, it's stupid.  Look at this and think about how you'd look with a big picture of your "couple" or "actor" on your head. 

When it gets too serious, it's not only giving all of us a bad name, but it hurts the genre's credibility.  Really.  How many of us want it known that we're soap fans to the people we work with or we don't know very well?  Why?  Because a few face painters have smeared us all. 

Pretty moronic, isn't it?  But, admit it, that's some of you.  You're wondering right now, "What if I could wear Roger Howarth on my head?"  Don't do it.  Please. It's creepy.

Think about it. And do you think writers and producers are listening to this guy?  They're laughing, but they ain't listening.  He's, well, an idiot.  But at least he's not a FIB.  And if you don't know what that means, you're not part of the group. And I'm not telling.

Look, being an unashamed fangurl myself, I'm all for it. But when it comes to all-out warfare against someone who disagrees with you, it hurts everyone.  The shows, the message boards, even yourself. This is supposed to be entertainment. It's supposed a way to chat with people about silly things that aren't real but are still oh-so fun.  But, it seems a few face painters are hurting us all.  And, by association, a genre.  

Think that doesn't matter, think again.