But I digress.
So, in all the hullabaloo coming out of who is on contract and who isn't and when each show tapes and so forth, I find that I am like a kid awaiting Christmas. I know, I'm a big ole Jew, but I know that drill. I can't say if I'm more excited for AMC or OLTL, as I love them both differently. I enjoy OLTL more but AMC is the sentimental favorite. So, since I spent a blog discussing the greatness that is this version of AMC already, I'll try it for OLTL. There's so much but I'll try to be brief. Well, as brief as I usually am.
I don't know if I can explain what I'm MOST excited about as there is so much. I know what I'm not excited about. I'll start there.
I'm not excited about them being too short! I want more than 30 minutes, damnnit!! I could watch these shows all day, so that seems a little light in terms of content to me. But, hey, Beggars can't be Choosers. I'll take it for now and hope for more later.
I'm not excited about the "teen scene". The pictures are, well, interesting. It's a good thing they're young as Phaedra Parks says, "You can't turn a whore into a housewife". That quote can't be said enough, it's so beautiful. I guess that's why Blair's marriages never really take. But, again, I digress. Yet I'll withhold judgment until my middle aged ass actually sees something. I am more than open to be surprised. But, as I would tell the students that are looking for me right now, I'll gladly listen but I have never changed a grade unless there's a clerical error. So, although I claim to have an open mind, it's kind of a crock.
Okay, so other than that, I can't think of anything I'm not looking forward to in this new endeavor. I am just so pleased, I kind of feel like an idiot. So, what the hell? I'll own it. Hello, my name is Addison and I'm a fangurl. It's been one year since my last soap........
I'm excited about the KICKASS cast. I'm laughing aloud at the my use of "kickass" as it is, by nature, the tackiest of all exclamations, IMO. But, what can you do? They kick ass and I have to admit it. What a fucking dream cast. It's like 1995 all over but even better as it's NOT 1995!! And JVD, the GILFiest GILF of all time is there. AND NO KEVIN!! I always hated Kevin, all incarnations. I just hated his pompous ass.
But, truly, there is not one person I would have wished for that isn't there on that list. All on the "contract" list, too. Yeah, Roger, tell me again how you're going back to that shitfest known as GH when I see your name prominently displayed as a contract player. Listen, Buddy, I may have only gotten a B in Contracts, but I know how they work. You rarely have two employment contracts running concurrently. Is it for four weeks? Maybe. But maybe I'm Ali Fucking Baba. You don't know I'm not. I could be. I have hair that I wear up when I need a cut. I could be sporting a turban. It's possible. I do know thieves......
So, anyway, I couldn't be more pleased. Great actors who I don't hate. They're all spectacular and interesting characters and lack pretense and don't seem to backstab. I love it all and will not only appreciate each and every one, but thank my lucky stars they're gracing my "screen" again. There's no one who makes me want to gag when they show up. Like Ms. Wright with her unfortunate hair. I fear the taunts about her gigantic ass may be driving her into an eating disorder, so I'll stop mentioning that. Besides, have you seen that hair? She needs the fucking turban. Holy Crap! That's some bad hair. Laura, Honey, people on 'ludes should not cut their own hair.
But I digress.
I'm excited about being excited. It's really depressing to be looking forward to nothing in terms of entertainment at the end of a day when you usually like to plop down and watch a great soap opera. I love getting home and all of the sudden realizing, "OMG, I have a OLTL to watch". And then actually wanting to do it. I know that in the last year, I've often been home when soaps are on and actively avoid them. Hell, I'd rather work than watch that dreck. I long ago lost interest in DOOL and Y&R. GH? You couldn't pay me enough to sit through that crap. It's unwatchable drivel.
I'm excited to hear David tell Blair she looks awful! I know that many think he's played out but I love David and TW. I think he's hysterical and every time I see him, I laugh before he says anything. I think he's so damn funny, I can't take it. I'm laughing thinking about him. I love when he says that as it's so random but a great shout out to something I don't know, but I love it. So, shout away, Kids. I'm excited to see it.
I'm excited to see Viki be irritated with Dorian and roll her eyes at her. I love Viki's exasperation as even that's done with love. I can't wait to see a big old bitch session and Viki in the middle. I'd start with Dorian and then add in Todd and then David and if Tina could show, that would rock! A real moron fiesta of raving with Viki right there, in the middle, trying to breath. I'd like that. It would make me happy.
I'm excited about the swearing!!! I can't wait for it, actually. As you may have noticed, I have an issue with it. As you can see, it offends my naturally demure disposition...only not. I think I was about five when I heard my father talking to a workman on the phone and called the guy a motherfucker. I was on my mother's lap and she was horrified as I asked her what it was and she hushed me. But I remembered it and since I was an active AMC watcher at the time, I already knew what Hookers were from Donna Beck, Estelle, Billy Clyde, and Tyrone, it wasn't much of a stretch.
I can't wait to hear grown ups talk like grown ups. I always thought Todd telling people to "Buzz off" was stupid. He should be telling them to Fuck off, as, well, he should. That's what people say. Fuck Off, You Cocksucking Sonofbitch! That's what he should say. I'm requesting that exactly. If I hear it, I'll be pleased. I'll take it as a shoutout!!
I want Nora to call people assholes. She should. It suits her. I want Blair to be accused of fucking people. I want Tea to yell "Shit". She would do that. And I want someone to call Jack a little prick. He is one. He deserves it. I've called him that many times myself.
I'm excited to not be scared about what crap Nimnuts will throw at me. I am just so happy to be rid of him, I can't express it. I'm so pleased that he's out of my orbit, I'm practically doing a jig in the office. Well, not a jig. A Snoopy-inspired slam dance is more like it. If Todd does head back to GH for ten minutes, then that's ten minutes I'll ignore and can't spare. I'm too busy sticking my thumb up my ass. I'm too busy playing in the traffic on the Kennedy Expressway in Hubbard's Cave at 530. I'm too busy being not busy at all. I'd rather stare at a wall than sit through one more moment of Nimnut's take on serial drama. I hear he's getting fellow rape-lover, Dena Higley, to join him. That's a match made in heaven. My condolences GH fans, really. The only one worse than him is her. I breath a sigh of relief. If they're getting their paws on Todd, I'm writing him off. Just stay away from CLINT!! He's special.
I'm just so excited, I can't even picture it. It's a bright spot in a increasingly dim moment for me. When I can cry at the drop of a hat, usually in the car or when I try to sleep at about 3 am, it's nice to think there's something positive that doesn't matter and will take no effort on my part. That's nice. Hell, right now, if it doesn't suck, I'll be happy. But how it could suck- Viki will be there! That makes everything better.
Words to the wise, my dear Addison, words to the wise. I have been a long time GH watcher--I admit it. Guza, in his attempt to turn GH into a pale imitation of The Sopranos, pretty much ruined it while pledging fidelity to Sonny and his boy of blunder, Jason. Anyone who dared to challenge this un dynamic duo ended up both literally and figuratively on a meat hook. And this was the start of Carly starring as the great castration goddess. I always detested Carly, it mattered not who was playing her. All of the actresses yelled their lines even when the situation did not warrant it, and all of them seemed to think that flaring nostrils was a form of method acting. So Ron comes galloping along on his white horse causing the GH fans to utter a collective sigh of relief because he is so much better than that misogynistic pig named Guza. Because, see? Ron is a sentimentalist. Okay, yes, he is a Romantic at heart but he's also inconsistent and cannot write a decent sentence to save his life. At least Guza was steadfast and consistent--he was a little man suffering from Tony Soprano complex, and we were all clear on this. Ron, comes to us as a misogynist in Alan Alda clothing, and in so doing, he gave us false hope. And while he means well, he can't write for shit. As I keep saying to my fellow GH viewers on our Facebook page--How long can we keep saying that at least Ron is better than Bob Guza? That's like saying we forgive our ADHD boyfriend for accidentally sitting on our dog Colette and killing her because HE'S so much better than our ex boyfriend who killed Colette on purpose. Either way, little Colette is dead!
ReplyDeleteOh, you're making me miss Adrianna and Chris and that little dog. AAHHH!!! Smack will do that to you, I guess.
DeleteI always thought GH was a cold, dark show. I never got Luke and Laura and loved Tony. You know where I'm headed with that. Carly ruined that show for me. I was out when he slept with her.
She sucks now, then, always. I thought SJB was very good as I was supposed to hate her, never saw the others, but this one is insufferable. Unwatchable.
I also must disagree for the first time, Harry. I don't think Ron's a romantic at all. I think his track record is terrible in that regard and he's a sociopath. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
My Jewish Ass loves that the Pope keeps screwing with his show. I assume that means Jesus hates his crap. LOLL! I'm not a Christian but that's making me rethink. Not really but it's amusing.
HA! Well, Ron is a wannabe, passive aggressive romantic? Even sociopaths can fake romanticism and screw it all up in their efforts (although I don't know this from experience). Okay, you're right as usual, Addison. I don't know what Ron is, and I stand corrected. He's that hair stylist who pretends to just LOVE women and then gives him the Carly cut. I think if Ron were in your class writing papers, he'd receive an F for being all over the place and for not following through.
ReplyDeleteAnd yes! What they, what that bitch Carly, did to Tony was heinous and cruel. He was a great guy but by the time Carly was done with him, he had white bandages wrapped around his poor head and he was kidnapping and tormenting children. I don't care who is playing her, I hate Carly with the heat of a thousand suns but she sure has a shrill and insane fan base. At one point the second Carly (Tamara Braun) had to tell her fans that while she appreciates their hand knit booties and blankets, her character is pregnant with Sonny's child, not her. Instead of following the actress around with a copy of Catcher in the Rye, the rabid fans were following her with a What to Expect when You're Expecting. I cannot fathom merging fiction with reality the way these bat shit crazy fans do....
Okay, I admit that when I was 19 and working a New Year's Eve party as a server, I ran up to a woman with short bobbed red hair, large red glasses, and who was wearing a silk caftan, and I said, 'Monique, what are you doing here? Is Nina with you?' I was horrified with myself and the woman looked at me as I were insane. My excuse was that I was sleep deprived and suffering from narcolepsy at the time. At least I stopped myself before I went on to warn her about Palmer and the Dobermans.
Anyway, your blogs are brilliant offering many of us much needed therapy for our SSTAS (Shell Shocked Todd Assassination Syndrome). He whines about his 8 years of captivity and torture? How does Roger think his fans feel watching the tormented anti-hero turn into Carrot Top bowing down at the alter of Carly? I love your comments about OLTL characters cursing as I had not thought of that before. I could see Blair telling Todd, "Oh go fuck yourself, Todd."
I am so excited about what Prospect Park is doing here. Last year, in Ocotober, I attended the Loving Llanview event in Indiana and at that time it seemed more likely we'd be putting people on Mars before we'd be putting them back in Llanview. I Love Prospect Park! I do. I used to sig my posts back on and old message board (now remoter than Mars) with the tag: I Love Prospect Park! Because I did. They were saving our show. From the beginning PP had such a great, smart vision, and while I had egg on my face for a lot of last year, it is so great now to see that their pocketbooks and negotiations have caught up to their plan. I am THRILLED. Streaming paves the way for more a la carte programming, can be watched anywhere, any time, and on a whole lot of smartly made devices created for just that purpose. Screw Network TV with its endless parade of chat shows, food fanaticism, and singing contests.
ReplyDeleteAnother gush - I love JVD too. Have loved him since GL. If anyone would have told me I'd ever be happy to see Clint and Viki getting back together, I would have told them they were from Mars. No one (actually, lots of people) hated CRs Clint as much as I did. But Jerry brings a modern cowboy, A Robert Redford like cowboy to the role in a way CR never could. He was too busy aping John Wayne, via Phil Carey.
So yay, everything is looking up, and speaking of JVD - he has posted some exciting pics of some of the sets. I LOVE LLanview!