ABC Daytime Can Bite Me, Part One

 ABC is going down in flames and it's a wonderful thing.

I can't even express my joy in the complete and utter failure of others. It's as if there may be an upside for this loss. It's pain and embarrassment and humiliation and I am not ashamed to say I'm relishing every moment. Congratulations, ABC, on your bad business sense and lack of foresight.

Here's something my father taught me as a child. "You need to spend money to make money". And he's in the home improvement business, not running a major television network. Who would have thought a mere siding salesman from the Midwest would be more savvy than you all? I can assure you, I would and now it's proven. ABC= dumbasses. Siding salesmen in Chicago= not dumbasses.

Tim Gunn needs to get his bony, once fabulous ass back to Project Runway where he shines and is lovable. This venture stinks and I'm far too pleased to watch it tank. But I still, down deep, love Tim Gunn. Save yourself, Tim, and we'll forgive you. Run. Fast. Run, Tim Gunn!!

The rest of those "lifestyle advisors" can bite me!!! Yeah, I said it, and I'd be happy to say it to their faces. Maybe they could discuss my anger with me on the show and advise me on how to not be so hateful. But I doubt they'll have the money for the plane fare to Chicago. Maybe they can scrape together enough busfare for Ty Pennington so I can laugh in his face.

Here's what I'd pay to watch: Viki cold-cocking Pennington and Blair kicking him in the nuts as he's on the ground. Then, I'd like to see Todd laughing at it. Tim Gunn can apologize to Viki and she'll graciously accept and then he'll discuss Starr's wardrobe with her. Now, that's a show.

Suck it up, ABC, you fucked up. You fucked up BIG this time!! Admit your mistake, pull a mea culpa, and then give us our goddamn show back! Rebuild the sets. Hire Gary Tomlin to EP and Lorraine Broderick for HW and everyone else will show up. The cast is not THAT dispersed yet. I'm sure they could be gotten for their old salary, the price of a cocktail, and a BIG apology.

Okay, I know this will never happen. But a girl can dream, huh? I bet soon I could pay Pennington about fifty bucks to let me yell at him. He'll be unemployed and needing the cash. I see his future in the flesh trade. He'd better hurry, though. He's getting old.