Sunday, February 5, 2012

"The All Stars of ABC Soap Opera" Coming Soon to a Set Near You!

Okay, if Valentini and Carlivati are trying to woo me specifically to GH, they are definitely on the right path! Granted, I know there are millions out there like me, but I was raised as an entitled Jewish Princess who thinks she's the center of the universe. I'm saying it must be cultural. Yeah, that's it. And, yes, I'm busy cultivating more like me in the new generation.

Frisco Jones? Really? Frisco's coming? Hell yeah! It's becoming "The General Hospital All Stars of the 1980s and 1990s with Addison's Favorite Featured Players from Other Shows". If Felicia comes, which may be problematic due to her real life divorce from real life Frisco, then it's a lock that I'm there, too. So, Campers, let's review:

Characters I loved from GH back in the day: Robert, Luke, Anna, Holly, Scotty, Lucy, Frisco, Felicia, Shawn, Tiffany, Bobbie, Tony. Okay, I get that Shawn and Tiff are not happening. Tony died in a death scene that brought me back to watch and still makes me cry like a baby. Especially him saying that he's seeing BJ. OMG, so f'in' fabulous. Brad Maule is one of the greats and never gets the recognition he deserves, BTW. Couldn't he appear in a dream to Frisco? Actually, this is looking like a middle age soap fan's dream GH line up.

Let's move on and get to the reason I'm posting this at all. I know I abuse ABC on a weekly basis. However, I am willing to completely change course and be their bitch if they do what I want in this instance. I suggest an ABC All Star line up that can work in a novella format. The GH cycle, the OLTL cycle, and the AMC cycle. Of course, three half hour shows would be great, but beggars can't be choosers. Here's what could be done:

The GH one is perfect as is, with Felicia, of course, and some of the young-in's. Lucky, fine, Robin, great. I'm not familiar with the others and, really, I don't care about them so they can all go away. The Mob? No. It's over. Move on unless they reunite Sonny with Brenda and bring back OG Lois and Ned, even though there are also those pesky real life issues with those two. (GH had a lot of characters marrying leading to real life marriages leading to real divorces. Don't muck it up, people! Real life shouldn't get involved in our characters!!It's irritating!)

OLTL needs to be all Mannings and Lords all the time, with the Buchs and Nora, of course!! Tina, Cord, Viki, Clint, Dorian, David, Bo, Matthew and the new baby, I suppose is fine. I needs me some Jack and Todd snarkfest and cute little Sam. I'll even take McBain as he doesn't irritate me but Natalie is much better on her own, IMO. Jess needs a LONG break. Like LONG!!! SNV needs to go off with his harpy and the new spawn and re-Rayburn Dani. They don't make the All Star List, IMO. They're second stringers to me, like Twitchy Rex and the Roadrunner... I mean Gigi....and drippy Shane. There are enough REAL Lords and Buchs to make up the "loss".

Last, but not least, is the AMC All Stars which I think will be most controversial. Ducking for cover, but NOT an Erica fan. Wasn't in 1975, not in 1985, not in the new millenium, not ever. I need an Adam Chandler/David Hayward/Tad and Jake Martin Show!! Bring in a Kendall and Zach once in a while but NO RYAN or GREENLEE EVER!!! They were the deathknell. They actually repel ratings points as opposed to attract them. Really, someone make CamMat Kelly Ripa's partner on that insipid morning crapfest and keep him off my screen forever. I wish him great success in a forum I can happily avoid. Now, someone hit Cady Mc in the head or something and bring back her chemistry with MEK and make Brooke the matriarch of the Chandler clan and I'm super happy.

I know this won't happen but, man, a girl can dream. Besides, it's Superbowl Sunday. If the guys get their "big game", why can't we? Ricky Martin could do the breaks, huh? Well, maybe that's going too far................

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