The Patented Tease and then "Shocking" Twist- Nimnuts Pulls a Fast One

It’s funny to me that so many people buy into the trap. I find it fascinating. For years, I thought everyone was far too smart to really let it get them, but they do, and every day.  It is shocking, really, the level of delusion some people can function under at this point in time.  Don’t do it, People, don’t fall for it! It’s a trick.  You have to become aware of one of the cheapest tactics in soap world. It’s called the “Tease and Twist”. In other words, it’s a fake out.  And Carlivati is the world’s all time champ.

You see you think he’s going in one direction but he’s not. He’s playing you. You think he’s giving this story and distracts you with it when, in fact, he’s giving you that story.  You have to recognize it early and you’ll be better off. In soap circles, it’s called “fuckery”. It’s screwing with the audience to then stick it to them later. It’s a standby for these guys and I can’t believe so many fans fall for it.

You have to watch for a while to see when it’s coming. You have to know how they work and what they are thinking and what direction they can, and will, head into in the future.  There are certain rules, if you will, that cannot be broken. Certain lines that cannot be crossed. There are the absolutes, like no incest or pedophilia….really. But there are others that aren’t clear. There are, for example, certain lines that are blurred and not being crossed, but you don’t know it.   

That’s where the real fuckery exists. It’s long term fuckery.  Take the most  disgusting storyline ever- penned by Nimnuts- the rapemance.  OMG, I hate even thinking about it.  In that disgusting display, they had “Todd” keep an amnesiac Marty, his former rape victim, in a “safe house”.  I won’t say he held her hostage per se, but he didn’t help her back to health or her son.  She then fell in love with him- GAG- and had sex with him- ARGH- and wanted to run off with him.

Excuse me, I just vomited all over the new carpeting in my new University office. I think they might charge me for cleaning it up.  I’ll send the bill to Nimnuts.  Or blame my officemate….

At any rate, that was long term fuckery as it was years later we found it wasn’t Todd at all, but Victor. Victor never raped Marty- back in the day, I mean. He simply thought he did as he allegedly believed he was Todd. So, it was a tease- “the rapist is reraping the victim and she loves him”- that turned out to be a fake out.  There was no romance there as the major player was not who you thought it  was.  PSYCH!!! You lose.  Nimnuts got ya.  What a playful little scamp, huh?  Only not.

I’ve always thought they would play the old Todd switcheroo from day one. I never bought TSJ as Todd, like ever. They used the plastic surgery thing to keep this story in their back pocket. I had no doubt that, at some point, Howarth would return and lookie loo, he did.  So, when all that nauseating crap came out, I took it as part of the fuckery. It was not Todd. 

There were also a lot of signs that Howarth was interested.  Supposed olive branches to old co-stars, a blatant plug for OLTL in an interview for ATWT, and other things. So, when it happened, I knew what it was. It just took a few more years to happen. Actually, I was delighted when Todd, and I mean Real Todd, was so horrified that anyone would think he’d do that, I applauded him. Really applauded. Like put my hands together and said, “Yeah, Todd”.  Even the fictional character was shocked how people were taken in by the fuckery.

There is, more often, short term fuckery which has several functions. One can be to stall and make a little story that goes nowhere for a character who needs their minimums met and TPTB have no interest in long term potential for them.  This would be like any story for Cristian Vega in the last five years of OLTL. He had minor crap that never really was fleshed out or went anywhere because, well, it wasn’t.  He was engaged to Layla.  Why? I don’t know. It went nowhere. He flirted with Rama. Why? It went nowhere. He fought off amnesiac Jess who thought she was 16. Why? It went nowhere.  Now, the Jess interlude led to the disgusting Ford moment but for Cristian, it went nowhere. A tease and a twist as it went nowhere.

Then there’s the concept that something may go nowhere but they want to tease the audience that it could. Or keep them quiet. See the Jasam stand-alone “What If” episode. Burton’s leaving and they moved Monaco on months ago. But, as a last hurrah, they’ll indulge the fans with a fantasy. It will go nowhere- or somewhere bad. I  think this one is particularly cruel. It’s a real PSYCH. It says “look what could have been if we didn’t hate this guy and want him gone and love her with Easton”. Sorry. Not a Jasam fan but that’s how it looks to me. I think it’s a dirty trick and cheap ploy for one ratings boost. Nasty stuff, Frankie, nasty stuff.

Then there’s the need to distract the audience and tease them, to taunt them for lack of a better word, into thinking something’s happening when it’s not. It’s a cruel joke on fans but one that Valentini and Carlivati seem to enjoy. It creates buzz, in their minds, but it also makes people turn off their sets in disgust. I don’t think they get that.  It’s a double edged sword. They get an engaged audience, but it might engage them right off the show.  Usually, they pull back right on time, but it’s a delicate balance.  Or they know the audience is secure in their thinking.  Meaning the audience knows the game and is just waiting for it to end.  This would be the Codd situation or the Blair/Fatmas debacle.  The fans know the score and have to stomach the fuckery to get what they want.  It makes them sick but they stick because they know, in the long run, they will get their way.  

Look, I could be wrong, but I sincerely doubt it.  The Codd thing is the most classic fuckery I’ve ever seen. They get the star of OLTL who is, for all intents and purposes, a convicted gang/serial rapist. Sugarcoat it, downplay it, whatever, it’s still a fact. They have an actor who, for all these years, had some integrity, and a network who were actually proud of how it was handled. They had a successful couple they could agree upon for him, but that was it. No more sex for Toddy Boy. He was a one-woman man who was so moritified by having sex with Tea once, he risked his life to get back to Blair right after.

You really think they’ll have him fall into bed with someone else?  When they tell you he’s getting the wife back on the show?  Come on. Yet they need to do something with him until she’s there and he’s forgiven. He knows no one. What can they do? Easy- fuckery. They can make him tease and flirt and be all nicey-nicey and take Cosmo Quizzes and be shirtless and touch her lightly once and compliment her. It’s okay. Know why? Like the rapemance, it’s fuckery. It won’t go anywhere. It’s nauseating and makes me want to stab somebody, but it’s not worth the jail time. 

You see, they’re having him destroy the life of her best friend behind her back and hold her uncle hostage- as an accomplice, that is.  And, if you’re smart, you know that will end all the fuckery fun. Yet, the stupid people don’t get it and eat it up with a spoon.

It’s a win-win for them. Playful fun for the stupid people.  Poking the faithful to stoke the fires of their fandom and keep them wanting the real thing, not the fuckery.  Ta-Da. And, right when things look their bleakest, the fuckery ends, the truth is out, and the faithful are rewarded. No lines were crossed. No taboos come to fruition.  It’s the “gotcha” moment. The PSYCH!!  It’s all smoke and mirrors.

Now, depending on the story, how far they go with the fuckery can be too far. The nauseating Blair/Fatmas sex scene was excruciating and awful. Therefore, knowing it was coming, I didn’t watch.  But I caught some of the “afterglow” which was, ironically, all about Todd and I thought that was bad enough.  I’m glad I missed it. Yet the next week, what happened? Lovey-dovey Todd and Blair all huggy and kissy and touchy and  rubbing against one another and, eventually, sexing it up as the show ended. 

See- no harm, no foul. Just sucks getting there. Now, if you recognize this, you’ll see it happening and not pay any attention. You’ll be told you’re blind or delusional or living in the past or whatever, but you’re not. You’re right. It just takes a keen eye to see it. And a working knowledge of some seriously demented thinking.

That’s the real key.