I am giddy. I can't contain it. I'm so happy that I feel like I have Spring Fever and it isn't even Spring....yeah, I like a good show tune. I can admit it!! I know I said I wouldn't be calling ABC names for a week, but, come on, who expected me to stick to that? I'll try to be good.
Suck it, ABC!!! You are getting yours, huh?Your newest dog isn't even as good as the dog it replaced. No offense, I love dogs. These shows are so bad, that it's offensive to call them dogs. They're rats. How's that? GAA is a massive failure so far. And it keeps getting worse!!!
HA!!!Take that, ABC!!! Your fuck up is the gift that keeps on giving. GAA premiered at a 1.7. That's bad. BY Wednesday, it was down to a 1.5. Thursday, the same. That's a 12% drop in two days. Nice work. Good job. Your lame, cheapass replacement for the lame, cheapass replacement is a giant stinkfest of crap!! Couldn't happen to a nicer group of guys. You're not even at bad AMC numbers at this point. And, wait for it, they're down 53% from OLTL!!
Let's say it again because it can't be said enough. You're down 53% from OLTL!!!!! I can't stop saying it. I love it so much. I might have it tattooed on my hand so I can look at it as I type. But I can't. My religion frowns on that. Tattooing, that is, not a good dose of schadenfreude. We love to rub bad news in the face of people who have wronged us!!!
I can't imagine why this cheesefest isn't doing well. At least The Revolution had Tim Gunn. I love Tim Gunn. I admit it. I said it. I love Tim Gunn and hold him blameless in this mess. That Lara Spencer is so irritating, I'll use one of Todd's lines from this week- "I need a shot of insulin" just looking at her. Yuck. And that guy, whoever he is, is a smarmy son-of-a-bitch. I can't say I've watched more than one minute, maybe two, as I tune into OLTL, I mean GH, but what I've seen is enough. Liza Minelli in a chair? Yeah, no thanks.
Look, I love classical Hollywood. I loved Liza Minnelli in Arrested Development. I like her music although I don't listen to it. But why would they think I want to see that? Why am I interested in Blair Underwood who was uninteresting on LA Law? And that was in the 1980's, wasn't it? Who's on the list for this week? Luke Perry? Grant Show? Please, ABC, get into the new millennium.
Do some real fucking research, will you PLEASE??? We don't want bullshit. We won't watch. We don't need more drab hosts with C-list guests. Hell, I don't care if they're A List. We don't want to watch this dreck!! We won't and your ad dollars will drop faster than Lara Spencer's Butt Lift!! We want what we had and make it better.
What is it about "We won't watch" don't you get? The daytime audience is not a bunch of donut eating, home bound, morons. We're professionals with a choice in entertainment. WE CHOSE TO WATCH THESE SHOWS!! WE MADE AN EFFORT TO WATCH THEM!! WE DON'T WATCH ANY PIECE OF CRAP YOU PUT BEFORE US BECAUSE WE HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO!!
God, are you slow, stupid, or stubborn? I think all three. Listen to me. Please. We're professionals and people who work in the home. We're lawyers who sneak off to watch Youtube edits at the office. We're teachers who have TVs in the lounge. We're doctors who have televisions stashed in the back room. We'll DVR. We'll watch Soapnet. There may not be as many of us as there was, but we're here. And, guess what, we WON'T be there!!!
I never get to my office and say "Gee, I wonder what Lara will say today?" Know why? I DON'T CARE!!! I will say "Gee, I hope Blair fucks Todd's legs off this afternoon. I'd like that". Know why? Because I DO CARE!!! Pretty simple. Care about one thing, not the other. Appointment television on one part, mindless drivel that must be avoided at all costs on the other. Pretty easy distinction, isn't it? I think maybe you guys can even get it.
Here's more insight from my father, the siding salesman in Chicago. If you don't have a quality product, you better have a stupid and desperate consumer with no ability for recourse. Know what that means? You try and peddle shit, you better find people who have no other choice and can be taken easily without any idea that they can sue your ass. You know what my father found? Even the biggest idiot on the planet knows someone who passed the bar. And can call the Better Business Bureau Or the State's Attorney or the local news station. Don't try it, "Fellas". See, I didn't call them a name. Those consumers always come back and bite you in the ass.
Being a cheapass only makes you pay more later. And you're paying now, I'll bet. Do yourself a favor. Give Valentini the old time slot and give us our goddamn show back. We'll forgive you. Katie will tank. Bet on it. And, so far, I have yet to be wrong............
I think that the ABCDummies ARE slow, stubborn, and stupid. Penny-wise and pound-foolish, they will trot out every cheap replacement imaginable rather than bring back their daytime lineup.
ReplyDeleteLet's face it, the GH viewers' complaints that ME, KA, and RH could have been brought to the canvas as GH characters is valid since all three are being used in shallow, vapid ways to prop the same tiresome characters GH viewers are sick of.
Why should their fans care that one of the cockblockers to JaSam is John McBain rather than John Doe played by ME? Why should GH viewers care that the vapid teen chanteuse swapping spit with Michael Corinthos is Starr Manning. Moreover there is their distaste over the fact that this is mere weeks after she lost her baby and her baby daddy. Why should they care that the broad who has JaSam's baby is Tea Delgado? Why should they care that Heather's reluctant henchman is Todd Manning or Carly's sounding board?
Moreover, why should I care, as a OLTL viewer? These stories suck sewage!
I don't know what to make of what FrankenRon are doing. I don't see a strong effort to save GH AT ALL. I don't think the interest is there.
It seems to me that they are doing nothing but maintaining a holding pattern with the Guza-gutted GH rather than going Full Monty and doing a GH-OLTL hybrid reset. Why?
I would like to believe that there are plans in place to resurrect OLTL, but one would think they would have made more of an effort to make GH fans more interested in OLTL by using them more dynamically. That isn't happening.
I strongly suspect the writing is on the wall, there are NO plans to resurrect OLTL, and GH will only last as long as it takes ABCD to find a suitable talk-show replacement.
You make some good points! I think the term "Holding Pattern" is incredibly applicable here.
DeleteThank you for your consensus on this.
ReplyDeleteThe irony is that I thought a temporary GH-OLTL hybrid could have worked IF:
ABC had kept the OLTL players on contract while phasing out the mob deadweight to bring back old faves.
RC could have written a full-blown change of venue trial for Todd with Alexis Davis representing him. The opportunities to bring back old non-Mob faves was enormous. Imagine Judge Scott Baldwin (Kin Shrine) and Ric Lansing (Rick Hearst) prosecuting.
The mystery microchip could have been an excellent way to pay a respectful salute to the golden Monty age of GH. Before Malone turned Victor Lord, Sr. into Chester the Molester, Darth Victor was a rogue OSS agent who restored the family fortunes with stolen Nazi art and gold. Why not stolen Nazi technology involving weather change like the theory behind HAARP? We'd have WSB agents, Sean Donnelly, Robert Scorpio, and Anna Devane on the case, not to mention evil DVX agent, Cesar Faisson and Helena Cassadine.
Let's assume that Victor Lord's had long-time business cronies who served in the OSS back then like the late Asa Buchanan, the very much alive Adam Chandler and Edward Quartermaine. There could be a back story where Viki and Tracy were feuding sorority sisters at some select private school.
Todd's children, Starr, Danielle and Jack could have shored up the teen/young adult scene along with Tracy's son Dillon Quartermaine and the Corinthos children.
During GH's Monty heyday, it was a helluva lot more like a better-written, more expensively produced OLTL than like the shoddy, shop-worn, dark, depressing Sopranos ripoff it is now. It had OLTL's heart and humor.
Monty would have contrived some way to give custody of Hope to Blair to free up Starr for romance with a GH male. Monty would have found a way to bump Scrubs to recurring. Or have Robin wrongfully convicted and imprisoned for killing Lisa's accomplice. I think Monty would have fun writing Heather vie with a daughter-in-law a lot like Heather by having Steve end up with Lisa.
To a certain extent, I can understand Frankenron accepting that ALL ABC soaps will be gone as soon as ABC can find suitable cheaper replacements and not pouring their heart and soul into GH the way they possibly had OLTL.
But on the other hand, one would think they would have enough ego and chutzpah to push through a GH-OLTL hybrid and write and produce it so well and bring back so many viewers that the shit would hit the fan if they canceled it.