What Happened to the Long Form? The Case of the Insta-Story

I remember when I was about seven, my grandmother told me something I've never forgotten.  As she held my hand and we walked through the Eden's Plaza parking lot, just outside Carson Pirie Scott, in Wilmette, Illinois, she told me that every summer gets shorter and shorter as we get older.  I remember that vividly as it was summer at the time and my grandmother rarely had heart-to-hearts with me at all, as I was the youngest of ten granddaughters.  She must have been talked out by the time I made my way to the scene. But I never forgot it and think of it every summer as the season zips by.

Time does get compressed as we age.  That's true. I think this is something particularly fitting to this form as it reaches it's final resting point.  With so little time left, it seems there's no time left to tell a good story anymore. There's no long form story telling. Maybe the audience has lost its attention span. Maybe someone thinks this is good.  I don't know.  But I also think that it's more than that. I think it's a lack of patience on the part of the writers,the producers, and the audience.  Sorry, Guys, but we're guilty of this, as well. But I'll refrain from calling us names!

How is it that people automatically fall in love? How is that people automatically start telling one another intimate details about their lives? How is it that people become best friends overnight?  In the past, it took months and maybe years for relationships to be built and be established.  Now, it's a few weeks and then off to the races, or bed, or whatever. It's as if characters are now plot points more than fleshed out individuals. Is this because time is a luxury no one has anymore as all these shows are speeding their way to cancellation?  Is this a symptom of the problem or the cause of it?

I always hated when I was young and the older generation would go on and on about the "old days". They'd whine and complain about how everything used to be better and now it all sucked. I thought it was sour grapes and it made me roll my eyes and think they were pathetic.  I remember about ten years ago when my older sister told me all the "kid's" music sucked and I told her she was getting old and to lighten up.  I didn't even mind having the "youngins" teach me things in class and mock me for using words like "boombox".  I was proud of my age. Until I heard Elvis Costello in the grocery store.  That was too much.

I'd like to believe that it's me and my problem with the current state of these shows, but I can't. When did people fall in love immediately and then need to be married even faster?  As nice as Adam and Chelsea are on Y&R, they've known each other for about a minute and in order to be the new Todd and Blair, they need at least eight months to a year.  Now,  it's all done before the next commerical break.  What happened to the slow build and the eventual moment that we all waited for?  Can no one wait anymore? I thought that was one of the cornerstones of the soap opera?  Make them wait!!!

I see some claim that Todd and Carly are a slow build. To what?  Nothingness? You need to have something to build on and I see nothing going on there but plot plot plot.  Todd needs to express his point of view- cue Carly.  Todd needs to explain his past- cue Carly.  Todd needs to be objectified and they can't do it in the normal way- cue Carly.  That's not a slow build. That's exposition that's not interesting.  It's not the hint of passion that becomes something really important later. It's a way to get Howarth's shirt off and not have Todd be in a sex scene until Blair arrives. This is the hint of passion that takes a year to become something- the Todd Manning Flirt and Slow Build.  This is how it's done, Ladies and Hip Dudes.

There are scenes that are two minutes long, if we're lucky.  What happened to the ten minute scenes that took up a whole segment?  We had those in the past and still do on occasion but not often. We did in the last months of OLTL and they were great. Viki's wonderful montage scene. The cabin scenes with Todd and Blair.  The Bo and Nora scenes as he left the police force.  They were long and great and about talking and history and emotion.  They could have gone on forever as we knew the characters and what they were discussing and the actors could make drivel fascinating.  Now, it seems, characters are pigeon-holed into the online world of Short Attention Span Theater.  Hurry, get the scene done quickly before the kids tune out.  That's not story telling. It's blogging.

There has to be quick action that makes no sense but is over quickly.  Rivalries are established in a minute and then dropped as fast as they appeared. What happened to those great enemies who spend years cultivating their animosity?  What happened to the Adam and Palmers?  I thought Todd hated Sonny. Guess no one cares anymore.  I thought John hated Sonny.  Not an issue any more, it seems.  I miss a good Viki/Dorian long term frenemy-ship.  I miss a nice Kevin/Todd hatefest with a history behind it and a lot of venomous crap coming out of both of their mouths- no matter who played Kevin.  Those rivalries came out of years of abuse and vitriol and didn't just appear overnight and then die as quickly.  I miss seeing Marty's face when she sees Todd- or Nora's!!!

Now that's some good old hatred.  You can't create that overnight. You need years of brewing emotion for that. It's long form and so what's missing now.

Maybe that's why only the vet characters are working at this point.  The newer characters and actors are superficial and uninteresting.  They're soras'd children who weren't allowed to "get"  interesting with time.  They're instant families we're supposed to care about for no reason.  I could easily have rooted for Chandy to kill all the Fords at once if it were possible. I still think back fondly on Bobby's moment with Chandy. It was thing of beauty.  Who are these people and why do we care about them? At least the GH audience is getting some well established characters as their newbies. No Fords or Patels for them.  They should realize that they're lucky.

Characters need to grow on us, not be presented fully formed and then we're asked to be pleased. We need to get to know them and understand them and then, maybe, we'll care. If not, they need to move on.  No one has the time or the inclination anymore.  Maybe it's a symptom of the industry.  Maybe it's a symptom of the culture.  Everything moves fast and nothing lasts forever-it's all digital.

There are no hard copies.  Just vague images of what used to be real and lasting.  I suppose that's why we cling to what was as it's all that's left.  We can look back at the way things used to be and realize that was a time when we had the time to make it matter.  Now, we're all too busy and moving too fast. There isn't the moment to make it linger anymore. It's just the image. The postmodern age and the postmodern condition. It looks like love and they talk like it's love, but it's not love.  Only the image of it.


OMG, I sound like Andy Fucking Rooney.........I better go have my eyebrows waxed STAT!! Or maybe I'll go watch Youtube and see if I know what the hell I'm talking about.  I'd hate to admit it, but I think I do.  Summer's going fast and soon, it will all be over.  I can't even be sure if it ever happened. 

Like these soaps that will be gone in a minute, every season goes faster and faster and now what will be left?  Well, we'll always have Chandy!

Now that's some good action!