Saturday, April 13, 2013

Good Night and Good Luck! or "Must Get Moose and Squirrel!!"

OMG, I love Murrow. Okay, most won't get that and from my very bad behavior here, you wouldn't think I even know who Edward R Murrow was, much less have a framed picture of him in my house. But I do know a lot about him and I do have that picture. It's spectacular!

At any rate, the title fits and any shout out to Mr. Murrow feels good. Finally, this little melodrama ended. Looks like I cancelled the real life soap opera "As Valentini's Head Spins" right in time. It's over...for now. I have to say it's a nice compromise for all involved. Valentini keeps his actors for the moment- and I mean "moment"- and Howarth gets to leave ASAP. Sounds good to me.

I'm tired of talking about it. I'm tired of hearing about it. What I will say is I'm happy to not talk about this crap ever again. I won't be watching GH even though I think the "new characters" should make for some fine comedy moments. I'm not sure who they are but I hear it's a Cassadine thing and they're pulling in poor Maura West. I LOVE MAURA WEST!! I'm glad she's working yet I'd rather see her on AMC. But, whatever.

What will it be- Howarth and West as a Cassadine couple? Nice, only not. I see a really hammy Boris Badenov and Natasha coming out of Buddy Boy as he does his time.

'


Look- it even looks like them!! Or will Easton be Boris and Howarth as Fearless Leader? I bet he'd like to wear a monocle. And he could keep the scar...but PP would sue. So, that's out.  Maybe KA can have the scar? Or KA could be Boris? So much storytelling potential here!! Plenty to steal, I mean create. I can see it now. Howarth in a really bad Russian accent tells West, who's looking hot, that they "must get Moose and Squirrel"- whoever that will be. Maybe that's code for Sonny and Koncate. Or Brenda. Or Luke and Laura. But it better not be Carly as then PP will sue. Then Boris and Natasha can make out on Paul Ryan's couch!! MMM- good stuff. 

But I digress.

Now, although I think West is great, she can chew the scenery when she's not liking what's happening either, it seems. She was great as Carly but Diane was shrill and painful. So, I see some bad shit on the horizon. With Nimnuts penning this mess in about three minutes and rushing it on the air? Oy Vey. Comedy gold...without the intention of humor.

Wait a minute- can you be Boris and not be hammy? I guess not. But I don't put it past Howarth to really make it terrible. He can really stink up the place. If this dude is doing thisshow and keeping OLTL, it's because there was a threatened lawsuit, which he'd probably win, or he's playing out time as part of an agreement. No way is this voluntary!!If it was, he'd just do GH, like the others.  But, there is that fan that said that Alderson was meeting with PP about full time in June. Just sayin'......

 No one will ever say it, but who works two jobs on two coasts for the long haul? That's insane. But, really, who cares? I don't. I'm not interested. I have Todd back. 

I won't be watching that mess on ABC. However, I do have a hysterical recapper who will give me the highlights so I can mock it. You know who you are, you gloriously hip chick.  She calls Carly "heifer" and always tells her to "take a seat". Now, that's fun!! She's better than the show.  But that should be fun, too, as it's going to be the Planet Nine of soaps, penned masterfully by the Ed Wood of daytime. As long as it lasts, it should make the Two Todds look like Shakespeare.  And my recapper will have me doubled over in her discussion. Bad shows make for a wonderful recapping moment.

At any rate, it's Addison out! I couldn't be happier. I'm dancing a jig of freedom all over the living room. But that's also because Spy in the House of Love came on WXRT!

Best of luck, Frankie, you'll need it. Especially when Todd is kicking ass at the same time your crapfest is airing. This is a good idea. Insist and fight and scream to keep the actor when it's the character interpretation that is popular really. And, the best part, have your "new" character air while the actor is reigniting his fanbase on the old show which will be spectacular, as far I've seen.

So, thanks, Frank. From this OLTL fan, thank you for making PP such a success. It can't be nearly as bad as the moronic fantasy spewing out of Nimnut's "imagination".  Over the top acting, lack of planning, bad writing, and really stupid plots will not be very helpful. But, it will be so bad, people will say "OMG, I have to watch AMC and OLTL because network soaps are done by retards".  I know, that word is politically incorrect. It's a joke, people, get off your fucking high horse. And, yeah, I'm evil. So what?

I'm having fun. I usually am super mean when I get what I want and I'm right. It's a problem. I admit that. But, really, I don't care.

I do have to take a moment to say I'm sorry for GH fans. This is terrible. And, in all seriousness, I meant it last week when I said the best thing now would be cancellation and rebirth. No way would PP take Frankie and his errand boy.

What the hell is this, anyway? I bet they have limited time and they think establishing new characters for sweeps will do it? Oh, yeah, that PC crap really worked a few months ago. Only not.  Here's some free advice they'll never take. Straight from the siding salesman in Chicago.  "Don't bring in a new line when you can work on the old one. You already have the leads for the old stuff. You can update it and use those leads again. Saves you time and money." What that means is if you have a successful product that seems dated, restore it or shine it up. You already have buyers who like it. Sell the same thing but better. 

You don't start all over with a new product, Dumbasses. You don't have time!!! Use those old fans and make them new again. Here's an idea- focus on your own fucking show that was really successful not too long ago. And don't do it as a stunt, as you have so far. Really do it.

Want to get numbers up? Dump Sabrina and pay KMc a King's Ransom to come back for a period. That's a start. Dump your three "new" people- one who obviously doesn't want to really be there anyway- and give it all to her. She'd make room for you in her schedule for three salaries in one. Bet on it!

But you won't. So, good night and good luck. You'll need it. As far as I'm concerned, it should be fun for me all around. Yet the GH fans will pay. After this loser gets dumped, you'll be made EP of Days or some other crap ABC show. I'll have OLTL in classic form. What about the GH fans? What do they get?

Robin, in the massive game of hot potato? Credit to the recapper for that one!! Passed from one evil doer to another? Yeah, that's great. And, remember, Nimnuts' famous line. "I thought I had more time". This time, it will be true. But now we can use your own words back at you. In terms of OLTL, I guess that show wasn't for you. Suck it!!

Your time is up. Good night and good luck. Oh, and I bet they'll never catch Moose and Squirrel- unless they're living in Llanview........

7 comments:

  1. Love this! Oh, I am going to miss your GH musings. This is a brilliantly written adieu to GH. But you're right, it's time to move on and to stop kicking Frank when he's down. (but it's so much fun!) Would you please consider writing a blog on Arrested Development? Just one? I know you're busy teaching and grading about 180 papers a week but perhaps you could use a blog about AD as a lesson plan? After all, this brilliantly hilarious comedy is following a similar route as OLTL after being cancelled by a network. OLTL and AMC will live on on Prospect Park while AD will live on on Netlix (and I am terribly excited and nervous about both prospects). If only OLTL could make fun of ABC the way AD made fun of Fox News.
    And is there a way you can give me a hint as to where I can find this hilarious GH recapper you mentioned above? I will be seeking levity now that you've retired as a Frank/Ron mocker and basher.
    You should send the aforementioned twosome a bunch of bananas with a note,"Oh well. We will always have the banana stand." Which is, after all, another way of saying, "Good night, and good luck."


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    1. Oh, no, I'll still be mocking them from my recapper, but I'm not going to be interested enough to drone on and on. There will be too much good stuff on PP to watch.

      I'll see what I can do about the recapper. I'm working on it! She does just short recaps but her way of doing it is hysterical. Here's an example:

      "dante looks in door, sees poor lulu frozen like a freeze pop. starts screaming for lulu. Stavros says lulu is safe. luke is like do you have my kid frozen? dante is freaking the hell out. "

      I just find her so funny. "Frozen like a freeze pop". LOLL!! I told her she must share her talent with the world and she said I'm a "mess" and laughed.

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    2. After reading the above, I actually watched a few minutes of GH yesterday. Your friend wasn't too off the mark, it actually did unfold that way. Moreover, when she thawed out she looked like Abbie Newman.
      Addie, where is your recapper located?

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    3. Private board. Don't know how to get you in it.

      Today she said AJ was "like Bitch, please". I loved it. LOL!! I

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    4. Don't worry about it. Today must have provided ample comedic fodder. After Lulu is defrosted in the Cassadine lab,her eyes pop out and her head jerks around. She is wearing a white night gown. She is acting just like The Bride of Frankenstein when she became alive--did the actress watch that scene to prep for this scene? I fully expected, Dante, who has Boris Karloff eyes, to slump down and say,"She hate me."

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  2. Bah ha ha! I just caught your "Ed Wood of daytime" comment. Somehow, in the murky terrain of my mind, that Ed got lost in the Ed Murrow comments. So, 10 minutes after reading it, I am laughing.

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  3. OH, sorry, one more comment. Today AJ and Traci were arguing over the Pickleleila relish. Traci claims the rights to the recipe while AJ said fine but he owns the copyright to the name, Pickleleila and he will sue her ass if she uses it. She responds,"Fine, but I will always own the heart and soul of Pickleleila." Um, they might as well have been fighting over Todd, John and Starr and the actors who play them.

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